Tough duty

Few things in life are as difficult as being the one to tell the next of kin that their loved one has died. I know. I’ve performed such duties. It is a crushing experience for the family and for those making the notification, one that would cause even the most carefree, hardened or callous among us to sympathize and empathize. The families always seem to know. An unexpected knock at the door followed by the sight of two or three men in uniform leaves the family with only questions of how, when, where, did he suffer and are his friends OK.

This week 21 such “casualty calls” were being made in Ohio communities from Cleveland to Cincinnati. Families of Marines serving with 3rd Battalion, 25th Marines were desperately trying to contact their loved one and dreading the sight of one of those plain government vehicles that seem to come only in colors of blue or white with black wall tires and no trim what-so-ever. You could pick one of these cars out instantly in a mall parking lot during the Christmas rush. Inside are two or three young men who would gladly trade a combat assignment or just about any other assignment for the one that has fallen on their shoulders.

But what they are about to do is important duty that must be performed with the utmost care and compassion. Few things that they will do in their careers as Marines have the potential to go so wrong in so many ways or be as fulfilling if handled properly. The family will lean on these professionals to get them through the grief, funeral arrangements, insurance payments, shipping of personal property, head and foot markers, escorts, flags, music, questions about the circumstances of the death, etc.

The idea is to be as supportive of the family as possible without being intrusive. It is a difficult balance given the number of questions and amount of work that must be done. The Marines will always send an officer, a senior enlisted man and if possible a Marine of approximately the same rank as the deceased. The initial call will be to make the notification and provide support if desired by the family. The next of kin is not left until a friend or another family member arrives and the notification team is asked by the family to leave.

Casualty assistance duty is tough, challenging, long, hard duty complicated by a rollercoaster of emotion and a myriad of things that can and often will go wrong. It is the best and worst of duty. It’s the best because you get to be of service to the next of kin of a fallen comrade. It’s the worst because at the end, the salute is fired, Taps is played, the flag is folded and another Marine, a husband, a father, a brother, a son, a lover and/or a friend is just gone.

Note: To all who support the troops, a favorite mantra of Libs, The Marine Corps Law Enforcement Foundation helps the families of fallen Marines. Look them up @ http://www.mclef.org/