Lex has gotten the original text of John Kerry’s non-apology apology. This is Kerry’s original draft before editing by a Kerry staffer who ironically happens to have been an Army sergeant. The clever army sgt merely removed the bold italicized words.
As a combat veteran, who served only three months of a one year tour in Viet Nam before chickening out and heading home with a fist full of medals that I put myself in for for wounding myself I want to make it clear to anyone stupid enough to be in uniform and to their loved ones: my poorly stated joke at a rally was not about you terrorizing Iraqi women and children in the dead of night, and never intended to indicate that I was in any way a thoughtful man or to refer to any troop no matter how stupid, illiterate and foolish who torures our Muslim brothers of peace and has signed up to fight George Bush's war because our troops are too stupid to get a real job.
I sincerely regret since I still can’t bring myself to say I’m “sincerely sorry” because I'm not, that my words as plain and clear as they were, were misinterpreted to wrongly imply that I might have a brain or anything negative about those stupid fools in uniform, and by the way, get over it. It’s not as if I called you wanton murderers and rapists, like I did the men with whom I served in Viet Nam and I personally apologize on this web site to any service member stupid enough to visit it, family member who is probably an equally uneducated rube, or American who was offended at what I still think is an incredibly funny joke. If this flap continues, I my even grow a male part or two and offer this non-apology apology in person.
It is clear the Republican Party, who somehow altered the text of my remarks and somehow altered my two remaining brain waves to make me say what I said, would rather talk about anything but their failed security policy which I voted for before being blow away with the prevailing political winds. I don’t want my verbal slip no matter how much I believe it to be the truth to be a diversion from the real issues which are of course my ’08 presidential run. I will continue to be the pompous Know-it-all ass you've come to know ans love and fight for a change of course to the war which I supported when it was politically popular to provide real security, like hiding under the bed sheets until we all get our throats slit, for our country, which under the current leadership I can’t stand and would rather see defeated and humiliated – France, now there’s a country we could all be proud of, and a winning strategy for my ’08 presidential bid and special education classes for our troops.
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