Egghead of the year

Some egghead named Ben Bernanke was named Time Magazine’s “person of the year.” So the Dear Dope is passed over for the Heisman Trophy and Time’s Person of the Year all in one week. He and Michelle have gotta be pissed. But he’s still got his Nobel Prize and that comes with a cash award.

Bernake is the head of the Federal Reserve Board and has been since 2005 when nominated by President Bush. Now I, like 99.9% of Americans, had no idea what the Fed Chairman does, so I looked it up. He’s America’s banker. His duties apparently fall into four broad categories:

1. Conducting the nation's monetary policy by influencing monetary and credit conditions in the economy in pursuit of maximum employment, stable prices, and moderate long-term interest rates.

2. Supervising and regulating banking institutions to ensure the safety and soundness of the nation's banking and financial system, and protect the credit rights of consumers.

3. Maintaining stability of the financial system and containing systemic risk that may arise in financial markets.

4. Providing financial services to depository institutions, the U.S. government, and foreign official institutions, including playing a major role in operating the nation's payments system.

Well, uhmmm, excuse me. Time? Hello? Time! Just which one of those categories DIDN’T Mr. Bernake screw up beyond all recognition?

Monetary policy? The dollar is nearly worthless, but there are nearly twice as many of them floating around now as there were a year ago so by mid-2010 it’ll become even more worthless.

Supervising and regulating banking institutions? Well thank goodness Bernake got that one right and we didn’t end up bailing out America’s largest banks to the tune of hundreds of billions of dollars. Oh wait we DID do that.

Maintaining stability of the financial system? Ha! Nobody’s buying that one.

Providing financial services to depository institutions, the U.S. government, and foreign official institutions, including playing a major role in operating the nation's payments system? Well, well,well, we might have stumbled upon something here. I’m absolutely certain Mr. Bernake is paying off all of the right people – foreign and domestic – with our hard earned tax dollars.

Hey look, I’m not surprised. When a know nothing, do nothing, be nothing jug eared fool can win the Nobel Prize because of what he might do. Well, anything is possible. But you have wonder, how long can the Nobel Committee continue to honor dolts and buffoons before it becomes a joke? How long can the Academy Awards hand out honors to Mocumentaries so riddled with lies and half truths as to be comical? Sadly we right thinking people know that no one in their “right” mind will ever win one of these awards.

So Lex will set the record straight by honoring “the real people of the year” starting today with Brett Favre. I do not know or care what his politics are. He’s proven to be a great individual talent. Yeah, his “will I or won’t I” retirement shtick is getting a bit old, but he sure showed the sports writers and his old teams he can still play. Come on! Who would you rather sit down for a beer with, Bernake or Favre? Sorry Ben only your mother would vote for you.