Good morning racists. The government taking over another loan program is like hiring the Three Stooges to paint your house. You know how it will end before the first can of paint is opened.
As part of "health care reform" our great and wonderful government has decided that it will take over the student loan program. What could possibly go wrong? After all, look at the bang up job the government has done with Fannie May and Freddie Mac. Those two government run lending institutions only NEARLY destroyed the country with toxic mortgage loans made to people who had no hope in hell of ever repaying them.
I can just see the government run student loan program being run by Charlie Rangle, Barney Frank and Chris Dodd. It'll become a prison release program. I can see the ads now:
A thug is a terrible thing to waste. Getting out of jail? No job, no money, no place to stay, NO PROBLEM! Get your life back on track with a full ride student loan to Harvard. That's right, thanks to health care reform you are eligible for room, board, books and tuition at one of America's most prestigious universities, all paid for you by your federal government. You can earn additional "walking around money" if you join a union!
Worried about grades? Don't. This is the age of social promotion. Self-esteem is way more important than those pesky judgemental grades that are achieved mainly through hard work. Who needs the headaches? Just sign the loan papers and let the government worry about the rest.
This fully funded federal program is brought to you by your neighbor's hard earned tax dollars and the Destroy America Now Foundation also known as the DNC. See your prison doctor today and get started on the paper work.
Who knew that getting a college loan required a banker AND a doctor? But when you think about it, in an age where every human weakness is reduced to disease status to give us some cover for our own lack of self control, this makes sense. It's not the four bags of double stuffed Oreo cookies a day making me fat, I have an eating disease damn it! Now pass me my milk shake and fries.
From personal experience I know that a student loan can be obtained without a doctor. In my illustrious 5 1/2 years at THE Ohio State University, I received loans on two occasions from the Huntington National Bank in Canal Winchester, Ohio and didn't have to bother getting Doc Jepsum to co-sign. My, my, how things have changed. I have just one other question, will the loan program be run out of the Education Secretary's office or the Surgeon General's office?
1 comment:
Last Aug Chairman MaoBama addressed veterans to say he was adding millions of dollars in a new tuition program for vets and this change would allow quicker GI Bill payments. It crashed. GI's had to use creit cards, savings, and other loans to go to college. Some had to drop out. It seemed to sort itself out in Feb of this year.
Cash for clunkers meant the dealers were not paid for months and most of the new cars bought were made outside the US. Of course this was a quasi-green and "get US automotive workers back to work program" that sent the profits to Japan, Korea, and Germany. Brillant.
So now we have the government taking over college tuition loans. Why wait till young people have a job to understand government effeciency improvements. Do it while they are young. That way they will be less disappointed in later years when the government predetermines the sex of their children and family sizes. They should find out now you do need not to pay back student loans if your parents were used in clinical LSD experiments funded by the CIA, or one of your grandparents ever swam the Rio Grande River. Wise up now! If you are white and middle class just proceed to the end of the tuition loan well. Your rates will 3X anyone else. To get the most loan money free consider applying as a trans-gender dwarf with vision disability from Pago Pago. Let the grenbacks roll in baby!
The Griffin
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