Caveman immigration reform

Al Qaida ain’t so dumb. After all they managed to bring down the twin towers damage the Pentagon and kill nearly 3,000 people using box cutters and our own airplanes. Now some al Qaida mastermind who watches US news has decided that the time is right to send suicide bomber into the US.

Mohammad Ali Iminajihad no doubt made this move so that his bombers would arrive in the US before the border was secured and in time to get a Z visa from John McCain. McCain still insists that it is the American people who don’t understand the complexity of the illegal alien problem. While the American people keep telling McCain the last thing we need is another of his asinine McCain Feingold solutions that made a bigger mess of campaign finance law than before his “help” for immigration.

But nobody loves McCain more than McCain. So he drives on touting the 24 hour check of illegal aliens contained in the 800 page bill as a sufficient safeguard against al Qaida bombers. Somewhere Mohammad Ali Iminajihad is laughing himself sick at the notion that a security apparatus that had a man with TB flagged; had that man before a border guard with the notice on the screen and still allowed the sick man into the country.

No doubt Mohammad Ali Iminajihad has his team of ACLU lawyers lined up to file suite against anyone who questions the peaceful intentions of any of suicide bombers. No doubt anyone who asks as much as a “how do you do” to a Muslim will be branded a racists Islamophobe by the ACLU. Their lives will be ruined in the process so the norm for government bureaucrats will be don’t ask; don’t tell; don’t visit the mall.

When the inevitable bombs start going off, John McCain will rush to tv and tell us all not to panic. His immigration reform is working just as he had planned. After all we have way more malls than the jihadis have suicide bombers. So once they run out of bombers, the remaining malls will be perfectly safe to shop. Trent Lott will rush to tv and blame the whole thing on talk radio. Harry Reid will rush to the tv and blame it all on Bush – then he will determine if he can make money swindling mall developers. President Bush will rush to the tv and deputize everyone with a Z visa to bring the “evil doers” to justice.

This immigration thing isn’t going away. Please e-mail your senators at http://www.senate.gov/. Here’s mine:

Comprehensive immigration reform, so easy a caveman can do it:
Secure the border
Enforce the current laws

The 800 page amnesty bill in the senate is a hodgepodge of loopholes and unworkable bureaucratic bovine excrement. Who believes this government has the will and/or ability to accurately screen 12 million illegal aliens – each within 24 hours?