Starting at about 10:30 am Eastern yesterday, America’s fainting couches were filling up and the smelling salt supply began dwindling. What caused this phenomenon? Egad man the Pope showed up at the White House.
Just the thought of this event sent the weakest among the “separation of church and state” crowd back to their beds at about 9:30. When Pope appeared at the East Lawn of the White House emerging from a government owned up-armored presidential Cadillac, others began going weak in the knees. Then Kathleen Battle sang the Lord’s Prayer and there was no stopping the rush. It’s like when someone gets sea sick. After the first person goes, others feeling even a little queasy begin to lose their lunch as well.
When the Pope took to the podium to praise America, the Rev Wright like Americans were found passed out in a state of shock. Rev Wright himself was heard to utter, “What’s this honky cracker talkin’ ‘bout? G-D America!” before reaching for the salts.
Then as the Army Choral began singing the greatest hymn ever – The Battle Hymn of the Republic – the agony of liberals pulling their hair out could be heard across the country followed by what sounded like frantic African tribesmen beating on hollow logs. That of course was actually the sound of liberals’ hollow heads as they hit the hard tile floors across America.
Needless to say, I caught the ceremony yesterday.
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