Mandatory use of public TOILETS NOW!!

Glenn Beck had a funny bit on his TV show last night. He asked a couple of questions:

Which would rather use a public restroom or a private one?
Where would you rather send your children to school, a public school or a private one?

Then he asked the obvious question, where would rather get your healthcare, from the “free” public clinic or a private doctor?

Sounds like a perfect set up for a TV ad. A guy pulls off the hiway into a rundown truck stop for an EMERGENCY restroom break. There he finds a line a mile long with people sitting in line with lawn chairs sunning themselves. Several people are seen leaving the line with soaked trousers. One guy walks away with an exaggerated bow legged walk as people in line turn and gasp for air as he passes. Cut away shows one guy making a mad dash to a filthy stall, dropping trou and sitting down in a big rush with a, “Ahh, finally! I made it!” Only then does he discover the toilet paper dispenser is empty.

Then a bright shinny semi pulls in along side the long line. People look at each other with a puzzled look. The sides of the semi trailer roll up to reveal a long line of porta potties. Men and women in attractive white jump suits set up a counter and start to charge the desperate patrons a quarter to use the clean porta johns. People flock to the trailer but no line forms as the operation is so efficient. The man from stall enters the porta john to find a mambo sized toilet paper roll.

Just as the line at the public facility is about gone, government idiots – as if there were another kind – dressed in tan shirts and black trousers and wearing an arm band that is eerily similar to the Dear Leader’s campaign logo, show up to arrest the semi-trailer operators. The unit is known as the DLPP – Dear Leader’s poop patrol.

Fade to black and back to a long line at the public restroom. Camera slowly zooms to man reading a newspaper. As the shot gets tighter the headline can be read, “Biden declares mandatory public restrooms a huge success” and a story under “Illegal semi crapper operations increasing.” Camera zooms out on the man with the newspaper as a wet spot begins to grow around the man’s crotch and down his left leg. The man simply folds the paper up and leaves the line.

Tag line “Government: doing a shitty job since 1776. And you want to trust them with your health care?”