A hero and a fly boy

While Commandant of the Marine Corps Gen. James Amos continues his quest to punish 4 urinating Marines, real Marines fight real battles. One of those Marines was honored yesterday. Lance Corporal Donald Hogan was awarded the Navy Cross by Navy Secretary Ray Mabus for his valor in Afghanistan in 2009.

Hogan was killed by a roadside bomb. When he discovered the bomb, instead of taking the easy and safe way out and ducking for cover, Hogan exposed himself to the force of the blast to warn his fellow Marines of the danger, thereby saving untold lives.

Meanwhile back in the Pentagon, a division’s worth of military “experts” labored under the constant pressure of jammed copy machines, an aide who can’t quite get the coffee to water ratio precisely the way the Gen likes it, too few croissants, an arduous 50 meter stroll to the nearest pop machine and dealing with weighty issues like where and when Marines should be allowed to urinate while in combat. Oh the humanity!

I didn’t hear Amos, SecDef, or SecState on the evening news extolling the valor of LCpl Hogan. Amos didn’t even appoint a 3 star Gen to head up a task force to investigate Hogan’s death or the type of bomb that killed him. While roadside bombs continue to be a problem in Afghanistan, Amos put his crack Marine Corps R&D boys on the real problem there – urinating Marines.

The R&D guys have developed the Personal Infantry Sanitary System or PISS for short. While a bit cumbersome, Amos explained that Marines can compensate for their new PISS gear by lightening their loads of other personal gear like soap, clean socks and skivvies.

When asked what would happen to the PISS when full, Amos explained that the Marines would be expected to carry three days worth of PISS with them while on patrol. Then the PISS would be collected and disposed of in an appropriate location, presumably somewhere in Michigan. Asked if the additional requirements might be a bit cumbersome for the already overloaded troops, Amos replied, “Look, once when the bus broke down and the squadron's golf cart was on a beer run, I had to carry my own flight helmet all the way down the flight line, and that’s with a cup of coffee in the other hand by the way. I also wore a pee bag on my leg during those occasional three Coke-a-Cola missions. Suck it up Marines. Every Marine is expected to hold their own PISS. PISS is the future of our Corps. We have plenty of PISS, particularly here in the Pentagon, and we will not tolerate urinating in the field.”

But in the really important news from the Corps, we are certain that the circle is tightening around the 4 urinating Marines, now known as the pre-PISS four.

This is just silly isn’t it? It would be except for the fact that the full force of the Defense Dep, State Dep and Marine Corps is about to land on four Marines heads. That’s what’s really silly.

What isn’t silly at all is LCpl Hogan’s extraordinary bravery in the face of certain death. As SecNav appropriately put it:
“Lance Cpl. Hogan made a choice that is unimaginable for most of us. But it was a choice of a Marine.”

Semper Fi Devil Dog, R.I.P.