Newt's big opening, he won't take it.

Crafty campaign consultant David Axelrod said that former P-BO religious mentor and father figure Rev? Jerry G-D America Wright’s sermons were taken out of context by the P-BO’s political enemies. Yeah, enemies. That would include any non-Communist or thinking human being. So, Dave how do you put G-D America into an acceptable context?


Yes, and thanks Dave. I wondered how a Republican candidate might bring up the P-BO’s buddy Jerry without appearing to be fishing for a red meat issue long ago disposed of. You have solved that problem.

Were I Newt, I’d get out of the race, endorse Santorum, go on a diet and enjoy my millions traveling. But, if were going to stay in the race, I’d dump those 10s of millions of dollars I got from the casino guy right on the P-BOs and Axelgreases head about this issue.

A perfect man on the street ad:

Sir could you try using the phrase “G—Damn America” in a sentence that doesn’t…well…damn America? The man’s reply, “Get outta here befores I punch yous right in yous ugly mug.” How about you Madam? “Oooooh, I don’t think so. That’s so crude and un-American.” And on and on. You could contrast it by throwing up comments from Fidel, Hugo, Amadinajad, and OWS types that take the bait. All the while repeating Axelgreases comment in a sort of hip hop remix.

G—Damn America
was taken out of context
Damn America
Out of context
America
Context
Out of contex
Get outta here
Damn America
Out of context
Oooh no
Out of context
Damn America
Context
So crude
Damn America
Out of context
America
Context
Damn America
Punch yous ugly mug
America
Context

Well you get it. Hey, I may have stumbled upon my real calling. DJ remix master Lex.

But, thankfully I’m not newt. Newt is Newt, and Newt is out for blood. Not Demo-Dope blood, Romney blood. Newt is like that clever song from the 70s by the rock band Sweet, Little Willie. The catch line of that song:

'Cause little Willy, Willy won't go home
But you can't push Willy round
Willy won't go, try tellin' everybody but, oh no
Little Willy, Willy won't go home

Newt won’t go home. But you can’t push Newt around because given his girth that would be “stunningly” hard to do. Check out the lyrics here and see if it wouldn’t make a perfect parody for Newt.

Yes of course you have Lex to thank as you try to get the Little Willy melody out of your head for the rest of the day. My work here is done.