Bush names Neas to fill O'Connor's seat

Without having a clue as to who it is going to be, the usual suspects have already stated their opposition to President Bush’s next Supreme Court nomination. That’s all the evidence that a thinking person would need to file the usual suspects in the “loon” file. Ted Kennedy, Ralph Neas, that old bag from NARAL, Joe Biden, Cindy Sheehan, Revs Jesse & Al, Crusty the Clown and other Hollywood elites along with the MSM that got the Katrina story sooooo wrong that they still cannot report the truth for fear of further destroying an already rapidly decaying reputation, are ready to land on President Bush with both feet over his next Supreme Court nomination. That’s a lot of weight when you consider Kennedy’s in the crowd. No doubt these knee jerk jerks have a template ready with a blank space for the name of the president’s choice – oops that’s a bad word isn’t it.

So, what’s the president to do? Simple, nominate Ralph Neas. Idiots that can’t figure out a voting card in Florida, no doubt will be too slow to recognize that the president has named one of their own to the position and will blast poor Ralphy as if he were Janis Rogers Brown (Lex’s choice for the position). Why even Ralphy himself is likely to rush to microphone having quickly filled his own name into blanks on the template and read his statement:

“Today the president has broken faith - oops how did that word get into my statement? – has broken trust with the American people. He has nominated the far right ideologue, Ralph Neas, to highest court in land. Mr./Ms./Mrs. (circle one) Neas has a proven record as a bigot, a homophobe, an anti-woman, an anti-privacy, an anti-labor lawyer out of the mainstream of American thought. He/she (circle one) has proven he/she (circle one) will be nothing more than a tool to be used by this president and his far, far, far, far, right allies. Ralph Neas is bad for women. Ralph Neas is bad for working people. Ralph Neas is bad for Jews. Ralph Neas is bad for Muslims. Ralph Neas is bad for baseball, hotdogs, apple pie and Chevrolet. Join me in fighting to bring to light what despicable scoundrel Ralph Neas really is. Help me defeat Ralph Neas’ nomination and in doing so saving America. I’ll take your questions”

“Mr. Neas the president nominated you!”

“Doesn’t matter. I am a far right ideologue and tool of the far right agenda for this country. I must be defeated.”

“I don’t think you get it. In your rush to condemn the president’s choice, you’ve attributed to yourself all of the things that you’d have attributed to Janis Rogers Brown had the president nominated her.”

“Huh? Wait a minute.”

At the same time other knee jerk jerks are reading their templated statements. Ted Kennedy, “Ralph Neas is the worst possible choice.” NARLA Babes, “Ralph Neas will set the clock back on women’s rights 100 years.” Revs Jesse and Al, “Ralph Neas is a bigot.”

Meanwhile, back at the White House, Karl Rove is watching it all on TV laughing his a** off when the president walks by. “What are you laughing at Rove?” “Oh nothing Mr. President. Have you made your Supreme Court choice yet?” “Not yet. Maybe tomorrow. Have you seen Barney? BARNEY! Here boy. BARNEY!” Suddenly, Rove gets an even better idea and laughs louder. "BARNEY! Here boy!"