A Liberal's view of presidential responsibilities

With, mike Brown’s resignation, Tropical Storm Ophelia sitting off the east coast, and still stinging from criticism in the aftermath of Katrina, President George Bush was seen going door to door in New Bern NC warning people to get out. When asked what he was doing, the president replied, “Well I tried relying on elected officials to get the word out in Louisiana. That didn’t work. People got mad at me because the New Orleans and Louisiana evacuation plans didn’t work. So I’m traveling up and down the east coast and going door to door until I’ve warned everyone personally. Then I’m going back to D.C. and load all of the fresh water we’ll need onto the trucks that will deliver it. But I’ll need to gas them up and check the oil first. Then I’m going to get busy loading the food. I’ve been taking one those truck driving courses that you see on TV late at night and should be finishing that up in time to drive the supplies down here if the storm holds off until the weekend.”

What’s all of the stuff in that pick up? “Oh that’s the clean up stuff I’ll be needing after the storm.” Bush moves to the pick up truck following him from door to door and driven by first daughter Barbara. “This here’s my shotgun – in case I got to declare a little marshal law if you know what I mean, hee heee. This here is my coal shovel in case I need to clean human waste out of any public buildings used to house people who couldn’t get out. I got my chain saw, box of band aids, a rake, ice cream scooper, trash bags, lawn mower, electric blender, weed wacker, fishing pole, a melon baller and my straw hat. In the cab here I’ve got my tools for rebuilding after I've cleaned everything up. I have my hammer, saw, tape measure, plumb bob, carpenter's square, nails and a few screws – no not Schumer, Durbin and Kennedy hee hee hee.”

But what about national security? Who is looking out after that? “Well Ray Nagin and Governor Blanco did such a great job in Louisiana that I turned that minor stuff over to them. Gotta run. The lights just went out in Los Angeles. Barbara have you seen my volt meter, wire cutters and electrical tape? I might need my flash light too.”