The Dear Leader has some ‘splanin to do

Questions for the one:

OK lemme get this straight. Daschle is a liar and a tax cheat so he has to go – right? Geithner is a liar and a tax cheat so he gets to run the agency in charge of catching lying tax cheats. How can that make sense to anyone?

During the campaign you proposed a plan that would have US troops out of Iraq by March. Uh…March 2008…that is. Iraq just held another stunning round of peaceful elections. Since you’re on a role telling everyone how you screwed up that Daschle thing, wouldn’t this be an excellent time to admit you screwed up the Iraq thing as well?

You have just capped executive pay for companies that take government bailout money at $500K. Right on dude. Way to go after those greedy bastards. Now if we get universal government provided health care, can we expect you to cap health care for all of those worthless old people, fat people who don’t eat arugula, smokers, drinkers, people who don’t drive hybrids, tax cheats, people who ride motorcycles, skydive and engage in other risky behavior that would be determined by you?

Dear Leader, you have risen from former cocaine snorting pot head to the most powerful man in the world. You can raise our taxes – well at least the taxes on those of us who bother to fill out the forms and pay them – and take us to war. How do juxtapose America’s absolute lack of interest in your past drug usage with America’s fascination with a 20 something year old swimmer who has no power over any of us taking a hit off of a bong?

Your sycophantic press wastes a lot ink and newsprint telling us how handsome and fit you are. Others with brains compare your odd looks - with those ears protruding like the side mirrors of White Freightliner – to the movie star Curious George. Now if we started making monkey comparisons like, monkey see monkey do, he’s gotten the drug monkey off his back, one monkey don’t make a circus, etc. etc. would you take those comments in the same manner that you expected Sarah Palin to take your comment about putting lipstick on a pig?

In other news, a ground hog bit NY City Mayor Bloomberg during a NY City Groundhog Day rip off. He was rushed off and received immediate medical attention, rabbis shots and double dose of antibiotics and appears to be just fine. Mayor Bloomberg on the other hand received a band aid for his hand. A hazmat team was dispatched to clean up the spilled blood.

Then there’s this. Nanny Pelosi said 500 million Americans lose their jobs (jobs being a three letter word according the world’s slowest thinking man Joe Biden) every month. Hmmm. There are only 320 million Americans according to the last senses. But I guess those other 180 million people live in those 8 yet unidentified states. You know the ones, when the Dear Leader said he’d visited all 57 states then added, only one more to go.