American pot luck

Is anyone else getting that sick feeling? You know like when you pull a hair out of your mouth that was in the banana pudding you were eating at the company pot luck. You desperately try to figure out who made the pudding. Was it the boss’s sexy secretary? The matronly woman from accounting? Or the overweight gal with all of the tattoos and the greasy hair who cleans the office? Two things are for sure. Banana pudding (unless it comes from a sealed Jello snack pack) and office pot lucks are a “no go” from now on.

The company pot luck is sort of what we’ve got going in America right now. You’ve never liked the pot luck idea. Eating what other people think is good has never really worked out for you. But hey, give it another try.

It all sounds great when the sexy secretary says she’s making her world famous salsa dip; and the matronly accountant tells everyone about her “to die for” Swedish meatballs; and the overweight gal with all of the tattoos and the greasy hair tells everyone about her “killer” banana pudding recipe.

It even looks good when it’s all laid out on the buffet table in the break room. But the salsa tastes like tomato paste – turns out the boss’s secretary knows the boss can’t handle spicy food so she “tones the recipe down a bit.” The Swedish meatballs have been over cooked (or under cooked who really knows with those things) and have disintegrated into gelatinous brown lumpy goo in the crock pot. And the banana pudding we already know about.

So last year in Nov. America was planning a pot luck. It was all hope-n-change. We’d close G’itmo and the world would love us again. We’d get out of Iraq and the world would love us again. We’d condemn the practices that have kept us safe for 7 ½ years and the world love us again. We’d tax the rich and “spread it around” and America would see prosperity like never before.

We had the great beginning where it all looked so good from a distance. We had the Chicago victory rally. We had the inauguration with all of the beautiful people in attendance.

Then it all began to crumble.

We saw a Dear Leader blame everything bad that has happened in America since 1776 on his predecessor.

We saw a long line of tax cheats populating the administration in key positions.

We heard OUR Attorney General call America cowardly.

We heard OUR Dear Leader make long apologies to people around the world who should be kissing OUR collective @asses for all that we’ve done for them.

We saw OUR Dear Leader sit quietly listening as third-world creeps trashed OUR country.

We hear him praising thug dictators, appeasing the nuclear ambitions of crazy people and ignoring international terrorism while OUR Homeland Security targets Christian military veterans as the major threat to America.

We are less than 6 months into the Dear Leader’s reign and we’re already 7-9 TRILLION (who’s counting and can it really make a difference at this point?) dollars in debt.

We have nationalized OUR largest banks, insurance companies and automakers.

We’ve got our first racist Latina woman nominated to the Supreme Court.

The Iraq war is going to go on for at least as long as the Dear Leader’s predecessor said it would and any troops coming out of that theater are simply going to be redeployed to Afghanistan.

Two-thirds of Americans now want G’itmo to stay open.

Planes are falling out of the sky for no apparent reason.

Army personnel are being gunned down on our streets by home grown Islamo-Terror-Fascists while the Dear Leader and his sycophantic state run press organs ignore it.

I think we’re just beginning to see the first strands of what is a huge hairball in the middle of the banana pudding called America, and it’s making me ill.