Liar takes to airwaves tonight to lie his skinny azz off

A well known celebrity liar will take to airwaves tonight for an hour.  What do you call it when a well know celebrity takes to the airwaves for an hour and lies to you to sell you a worthless piece of crap?  An infomercial!  Wrong!  Well ok, you get partial credit.  In America it could be an infomercial, but in Jan it’s as likely to be King Crapweasel – America’s own Billy Maze reincarnate - doing his annual BS marathon our Constitution calls the State of the Union.  That being the case, tonight might be a good night to go to the movies or catch up on I Luv Lucy reruns on channel 257.

If you’re an oldster playing King SFB SOTU BINGO tonight, look for a card with words “opportunity”, “inequality” “I”, “me” and “fair” in a row.  You’ll take the pot early and can still catch the last half of the Golden Girls on channel 259.   If you’re a millennial playing a STOU drinking game, avoid those words or you’ll be drunk about 10 minutes in and end up with a blistering headache when you show up for your part time job at the Gap that your unpaid college degree in 13^th century Bolivian banjo music didn’t prepare you for.

Inequality, what does that mean?  I was told by my high school football coach that I couldn’t be an offensive end because in his world of coaching winning football teams, I lacked the “foot speed.”  What the hell difference does that make?  They should just allow me a head start on the pattern.  That would give me an equal chance.

When basketball season rolled around inequality raised its ugly head again.  I was riding the pines in favor of a guy who was 4 inches taller than I was, could shoot just a bit better and had “foot speed.”  That’s BS.

I coasted through high school and college and as a result was solidly in the middle of my class.  I don’t think it’s fair that people should have gotten better grades than me just because they applied themselves and studied harder.  That’s bourgeoisie BS.  If I had applied myself, I could have easily been in the upper middle of my class.

Once I tried drawing.  That activity took too much practice and discipline.  But for the life of me I don’t know why Thomas Kinkaid’s work should sell for far more than something I scratched out.  Where’s the equality in that.  I worked hard.  OK not that hard really, but I probably worked harder than Kinkaid did after he hit his stride and painting and drawing came easy to him.  So, why should he make more money for his stuff?  For him it was easy.  I struggled like hell.  I struggled so much I quit.  Kinkaid’s talent and white male privilege shouldn’t necessarily catapult him ahead of me.  There’s no equality in that.

Equality, Mr. & Mrs. America is leftist BS code for socialism and communism.  Leftists promise equal outcomes for all “workers.”  Workers will toil in the same dead end jobs to live in the same crappy apartments, ride the same unreliable public transportation and receive the same ration of gruel.  In order to secure this “equality,” all the “workers” need to do is surrender their individuality, creativity, their spirit to live free and turn their dreams over to the state.

Sport is the perfect example of why these leftist Utopian dreams of “equality” fail.  How many little kids started out in little league football at the same time as the players in Sunday’s Super Bowl?  Millions upon millions I suppose.  Only the players and coaches of those two teams possessed the skill, commitment, savvy, strength, speed, derring-do and luck over many years to make it to the Super Bowl this year.  Some players worked much harder but lacked the “foot speed,” strength, size, hand eye coordination to make it to the big game.  That’s the type inequality we each face every minute of everyday of our lives.  It's natural law and no government program or man made law can change it.

I marvel at and respect the intellect of my three neighbors who happen to be medical doctors – and specialists at that.  But I also marvel at and respect my neighbor who is a high school grad who can fix anything with moving parts.  At one time he sold cars, tuxedos, and clothes.  He’s an accomplished mason, fixes Harleys on the side, fixes, trades and sells jet skis in the summer and snowmobiles in the winter and has a thriving DJ business.  It is unusual when there isn’t something unusual going on at his house.  On the weekends, Mrs. Lex and I have a running bet on how many diesel trucks will be packed into his driveway at one time.  But I wouldn’t go to him if I was sick.  Nor would I call on one of the doctors if my chainsaw wouldn’t start.

There is great inequality in the God given talents and skill sets of my neighbors.  I’m glad that, in the name of “equality,” they were not all forced into farming in order to reach the state's five year plan for beet production.