Well those darn Catholic Cardinals have gone and really done it this time. The Cardinals should know that by electing another Catholic male – for the 265th straight time no less – they are dooming the 2,000 year old church to irrelevance in today’s hip world. Just when the church needed to cast aside its theology, when it should have given up on human rights for the poor, unborn, infirm and elderly, as the world slips deeper and deeper into a moral relativism those dumb Cardinals go and elect another Catholic as Pope. Shouldn’t they have picked someone more hip like Michael Moore or super genius Sean Penn? How about some “I’m OK, you’re OK”, “who am I to judge” Jewish guy like Woody Allen or Seinfeld? Or we could go with a county fair candidate like Homer Simpson or Bill Clinton. County fair candidate? You know the Foxworthy bit, when you’re really down on yourself, go to the county fair and when you see all of the toothless, trailer dwelling (Hey, Lex used to live in trailer.) white trash there, you’re sure to have a whole new respect for yourself.
The last thing we needed right now is someone that is going to tell us, “Well yes, as the matter of fact boys and girls, there is such a thing as right and wrong and good and evil.” Ahhhghggh! Damn! The courts can keep the Ten Commandments out of my view. Can no one rid me of this Pope thing? Why can’t the most corrupt man in congress, Harry Reid, filibuster the election of the Pope? Can’t the 9th Circuit Court step in and make one of its world famous unconstitutional decisions? Where is the powerless World Court when we really need it?
Even before he could get his miter on straight, the MSM, as predicted a couple of posts below, landed on Benedict XVI with both feet pegging him as, gasp! a Catholic! How could an organization that has expanded by 300,000,000 people under the leadership of one Catholic go and elect another Catholic as its leader? It’s suicide in this modern age. If the Church wants to expand, everyone knows it must embrace gay marriage and plethora of other loony ideas that will have the church looking more like Club Med than a church.
But it’s all about popularity – right? We don't join churches. Churches join us - right? Well if the church is going to expand it will need to rid itself of the Catholic wing of the Catholic Church. The best way to do that is to bring Barney Frank in as Pope. His boy friend could use Vatican Square as a free parking for his male prostitution business which would be run out of the papal apartment. We need to get the Catholics out of the Catholic Church!
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