New Year's Resolutions

They are pretty much the same this year as every year, which is an indication of how successful I’ve been with resolutions.

Lose weight: only the amount changes year to year and never in the right direction. Loosing weight is an odd New Year’s resolution. If in Jun I notice that I’ve gained five pounds, wouldn’t it be better to lose the weight right then instead of waiting until New Year’s? Now I’m 25 pounds overweight and short of cutting off a limb or two have little hope of losing it.

Stop swearing: or get it down to a respectable level. Say, every other word. It’s odd that something that is so unattractive flourishes. And not just in fits of anger or frustration but rather as a part of normal conversation. Especially among the young for whom neither granny’s funeral nor a baby’s baptism is an obvious occasion to curb one’s tongue.

Listen more attentively to Lex jr.: which would be easier if he were not talking all of the time while hopping on one foot, eating cookies, spilling milk and usually about nothing more important than what Spongebob said to Patrick. It does have a bit of comic value come to think of it. OK, I’ll pay more attention.

Listen more attentively to the Mrs.: but we both know how the conversation will end. I always get the last word in which is…Yesdear.

In all likelihood I’ll fail…again… at these so I’ve decided to add in a couple of sure things this year:

Watch more NASCAR.

Be more compulsive in my buying habits.

Try to be a little less helpful around the house. (This will require a real effort on my part.)

Get to church…if I can.

Now the Griffin has the right idea about all of the resolution stuff:
“I resolve to not change one bit. It took years to get me just the way I like me, and I therefore resolve to stay as I am.

“Libs must lay the 50 ways they will change their lives each year. Sounds like a lot of work to me. One thing I know is that if someone has sooo many things to change they must be one miserable sob. So Happy New Year to me and all those miserable sob's out there.” The Griffin sends.