First order of business, a military strike against your coalition partner

Barack Obama, or as he’s known on the Rush Limbaugh show, Barack the magic negro, sung to the tune of Puff the Magic Dragon, in the voice of Al Sharpton singing through a bullhorn, has said that he’d offer the world’s thugs, dictators and madmen the courtesy and prestige of a high level meeting with him as President of the United States in his first year in office. Yea, yea, I know the JFK quote – never negotiate out of fear, never fear to negotiate. But what really do you say to Kim Jung Il?

Look, Kim baby, you got millions of people starving right now. There's more food at the Ft. Wayne Holiday Inn’s continental breakfast than you have in your entire miserable country. Have you see this satellite picture of your backward-ass country at night. Look, no lights Kim baby. None. Lex jr. has more light coming from his three cell flashlight on camp out than your whole country. Kim, baby, look I know how it feels to be duped. I kept my beta VCR player and tapes for years waiting for beta to make its big comeback, I had to let go. You need to let go of this idea that communism equals utopia. It ain’t happinin baby.

So what’s the worse that can happen? You waste some fuel flying over there; you get to see a nice flag show; you appear in a couple of hundred carefully staged propaganda shots and waste more fuel flying home. At the end of the day nothing too Earth shattering.

But even before the CO2 emission from Barack’s statement on meeting with thugs had a chance to contribute to global warming, the magic Negro said he’d send troops into Pakistan. So we’re going to pow wow with our enemies and invade our coalition partners? Is that right? Hey makes sense to me. Let’s bomb England next. They are our best ally. Let’s get them first. Besides, I never could stand those limey bastards over in England ever since a nasty hang over from too much Beefeaters Gin and tonic.

Finally a politician who understands Sun Tsu’s advice to keep your enemies close and invade your friends. No wait, that’s not right – keep your friends close – so you can stab them in the back – and enemies closer - so you can negotiate with them. Barack Obama; just another serious Democrat candidate running for President of the United States. When he loses, it won’t be because he’s an inexperienced fool; it’ll be because America is a racists country unwilling to give a magic Negro a chance.