Top 10 things to be thankful for

10. Living in America, where even a know nothing, do nothing, be nothing dope can be elected as the Dear Dope.

9. That once elected that same know nothing, do nothing, be nothing Dope has failed to totally wreck the country before Thanksgiving of his first year in office.

8. That the armed forces of this great nation continue perform with remarkable skill and professionalism in spite of being led by a Ditherer in Chief who is the head of a party that has continually accused those forces of murder, torture, failure and mocked their field commander.

7. That America still has ONE free and independent automaker – Ford. If you’re considering a new car, buy a Ford.

6. That if you cheat like crazy on your taxes year after year you will probably become Secretary of the Treasury or Chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee.

5. Sarah Palin’s book and book tour because it is driving all the right people to distraction.

4. That if you plan the operation that blows up three American landmarks with 4 commercial airliners and kills nearly 3,000 Americans, you get an all expense paid trip to NYC where you get to proselytize to the snake like US media, other jihadis and the world about your cause for years.

3. Even if you are convicted of the most heinous war crime ever committed, you are more likely to die in prison of old age – particularly if Dear-DoPeloser-Crazy Harry-care passes – than you are from lethal injection.

2. If you are a jihadi, you can remain at war with America while America calls your operations “man made disasters” rather than acts of war or terrorism and treats you as if you are a common criminal who stole a pack of cigarettes from the 7-11.

An the #1 thing to be thankful for:
It’s big sis’s birthday Saturday. Too bad it falls on a weekend. That means no prank calls to her office pretending to be an unemployed, un-bonded, un-skilled plumber looking for work. No doubt she’ll be in some seedy MS gambling establishment looking like one of Marge Simpson's sisters smoking and drinking with all 64 gigs of her i Pod weighted down with Neil Diamond singing various versions of his three hit singles (the slow sad country version of Cracklin' Rose with the steel guitar is her favorite) while she fritters away her mom and dad’s gold supply that she found hidden in the false bottom of the showdown box she cheated her siblings out of. Happy Birthday sis.