Demo-Dope lapdog media will try to recover

Paul Ryan had better be on his best game for his debate on the 11th. The lapdog media and the Demo-Dopes are out to reassert themselves. The media narrative after Romney’s shellacking of Little Barry is, “The Demo-Dopes will tell us what they want the people to believe and then we’ll tell the people. We can’t let Republicans and the truth mess up our arrangement.”


No doubt the VP debate moderator Martha Raddatz has already gotten her marching orders from the ABC bigs who got them from David Alexhead. Here’s the memo:

To: ABC “News”
From: Your Lord and Master, David Alexhead

You saw it with your own eyes and heard it with your ears. Little Barry got clobbered on Wed night by the Republican challenger, Mitt Romney.

It was all the media’s fault that Little Barry was clobbered. We had an agreement. You carry Little Barry and his nit wit vice president across the finish line, and we don’t go to the UN lamenting a “free press” and the first amendment. You know, if they could, the UN would shut you all down in a minute, right? We’d hate to see that happen, but in an effort to placate “the religion of peace” it may become necessary.

Remember what happened to the “Innocence of Muslims” film maker? Well the same thing can happen to you - particularly after the election when we’ll “have more flexibility.”

So you need to hold up your end of our deal. Jimmy public money Lehrer is currently having his taxes audited by all of the 16,000 new IRS officers hired under Little Barrycare. His home is simultaneously being declared a “wetland” and an environmentally toxic wasteland by the EPA. His assets are all frozen pending an investigation for narco terrorist money laundering by HHS. I’d hate to see Martha come under such scrutiny, but we’ll go where “the investigation” takes us.

Like Romney, Ryan is much, much smarter than our guy. How much smarter? Only God understands exactly how incredibly stupid Slow Joe Biden really is, so we have to assume he’s the dumbest man alive, possibly the dumbest man who ever lived.

Sadly, it is going to be Martha’s job to try to make him look smart. Start off by giving us the questions for the debate. While it’s true no advantage will be sufficient to cover for Slow Joe’s idiocy, it will help us formulate the correct answers. Then when we use the Mission Impossible technology to make Van Jones look and sound like Slow Joe, we’ll at least stand a chance. Of course we’ll have to do something with Slow Joe. Our current plan is to take him to McDonald’s and let him play in the ball pit for 90 minutes.

Explain to Martha that it’s nothing personal, but in this age of “terrorism,” we can’t be too careful now can we? We’d hate to see Martha or any of her family or friends rounded up for “questioning.”

We know you’ll do the right thing. You always do.

Cheers.

Your Lord and Master,
David