The Army of Bergdahl and Manning

Anyone who served in the military knows exactly what is happening to Major Matt Golsteyn.  Some skinny armed pointy headed REMF (Rear Echelon Mother F-er) who got his “I’m with her” coffee mug knocked off his desk by a special operator at some point is seeking revenge.  So the REMF opens an 8 year old settled case to get even.

What isn’t clear in any of this is, who the Eff is pushing this BS.  Some board of colonels and/or generals is allowing this to happen.  Who?  Whoever concocted this BS needs to be identified and made to make their case publicly.

Well Lex it’s an on-gong investigation and we cannot comment blah, blah, blah BS! It’ out there now.  Comment.

I hope PDJT exonerates the major restores his awards and Ranger Tab and kicks the crap out the REMFs who concocted this whole BS mess. 

Today’s JG rant
Re Audrey Roy’s letter, Local author’s satire well received by reader, of Dec 19, 2018

I too enjoyed John Gastineau’s article (“Bush’s final act of service to his nation,” Dec 9). It demonstrated for the umpteenth time that PDJT lives rent free inside a rather large swath of Lefty Libs’ heads. 

There is nothing too trivia or too petty or too grand or too glorious that Lefty cannot attribute it negatively in some way to PDJT.  It’s fun to watch Lefty’s ever growing number of involuntary twitches, uncontrollable mannerisms and spontaneous inappropriate verbal ticks when PDJT tweets “MAGA.”  It’s fun, like watching Inspector Dreyfus go slowly insane during a Pink Panther movie.

Soon, the sun is going to rise in the east over Ft. Wayne in splendid glory.  Then some small-minded #NEVERTRUMPer, suffering from a severe case of Trump Derangement Syndrome that afflicts so many of them, will see that event and pen a letter to the JG insisting the sun prefers to never shine on PDJT. 

There is nothing too petty or too low for this crowd.   

Local author's satire well received by reader

I really love the article written by John Gastineau (“Bush's final act of service to his nation,” Dec. 9). It is a real gem.

Thank you to The Journal Gazette for publishing it, and please relate my gratitude to the author.

Audrey Roy

Fort Wayne

Bush's final act of service to his nation

John Gastineau

Conspiracy theories are entertaining, but people pay more attention to them than is good for them or our country. Me, too, I admit. Here's mine.

Remember: Like all conspiracy theories, it's built on imagination and less than a handful of fact scraps. The truth is out there, not here.

The news said that President George H.W. Bush had been planning his funeral for years. If so, it's likely he would have watched Sen. John McCain's funeral and known that McCain and his family told President Donald Trump he was not welcome.

I like to think that not long after McCain died, President Bush sat down with his longtime friend and consigliere James Baker and a fine, single-malt scotch and one of them said: Make sure we invite Trump.

Why? It's the right thing to do, and since he's so self-absorbed, maybe, just maybe, for a second, it'll make him wonder whether anyone will attend his funeral other than Melania and Kid Rock.

OK, how do we do that? Make the state funeral at least two hours long. He's got the attention span of a gnat, and it'll force him to think.

Better yet, make the whole series of events three or four days long, so it captures the news cycle and keeps him off that damned Twitter thing for a while. That'd buy Bob Mueller a few days and, if we're lucky, they'll close the stock market before the trade wars crash it.

All right, what else?

Put Trump on the front row, where he belongs, but make sure we put all four of the other living presidents there, too, and their wives, because that's the right thing to do and he'll have to actually face the decent people he's insulted and demeaned.

Oh, and ask 43 to greet Trump graciously, despite what he's said about the family, and then see if he could lean across Trump and Melania to do that mint thing with Michelle that people like so much. Then, maybe 43 could make a point of walking around the rail to welcome the other presidents and their wives just as warmly.

Anything else? Ask Mulroney to talk about the value of friendship and allies, and see if Al Simpson could say something funny and true about humility.

That ought to be enough. They say Trump always thinks about the ratings. The rest'll play out fine.

End of theory.

President Bush and I agreed on little politically, but I admired his devotion to service and the way he conducted himself publicly. That's why I entertain my conspiracy theory. It makes me hope that even in death he might have influenced Trump by his example and so provided one last service to our country.

Fort Wayne resident John Gastineau is a retired attorney