Choosing the next president

The Griffin offers this advice on choosing the next Commander in Chief:

I am already sick of the 2008 election, and it really should not have even yet started. So many things will change before the election that it is hard to know what will be the real issues. No doubt that Iraq will be in there but in what light? If all he** breaks loose in Iran then what will be the status of Iraq? If some nutballs sneak across our southern border and hits Dallas or Topeka with a significant impact then who will be for a fence and right away?

Geo Washington, Harry Truman, and Lincoln, were leaders extraordinaire that were challenged by serious events they could not anticipate. Truman in no way wanted the job, and Washington was probably burned out to the point that all he wanted was some peace and quiet with the few years he had left. Lincoln aged 15 years in 4 years and was assassinated by a Hinckley-like fruitcake a couple of weeks after the civil war ended. And those were great presidents! So who really wants to be the president and why?

I think the events of their times made them who they were. Ike did nothing which was perfect for his time. Wilson could not pick out any direction as WW I was rocking and rolling. Imagine if Teddy Roosevelt had been the man in 1916! So as Bush is crucified every day by media, other pols, the U.N., tree huggers, whale watchers, the Murtha Gang, Pelosi Crips, and the Kennedy Bloods, I wonder why anyone would say they wanted the job.

A natural dilemma exists here. Any sane person would avoid the job. Therefore only insane to somewhat insane people would apply. I do not think it is so much about the events as they stand before they are elected but the events after they are elected that are the key. Those are not known. Therefore we should elect a person based on how we believe they lead in times of opportunity and/or crisis.

Therefore I would like to announce “The Griffin’s 10 Recommendations on the Selection of Presidential Candidates”. The Griffin ’s recommendations are that the voter,

*Vote for the person most likely to succeed should they NOT be elected. (shows confidence)

*Vote for the person most likely to sleep through election night. (can rest assured they have done a good job)

*Vote for the person that is the least insane of all the candidates. (you must be somewhat nuts to want the job)

*Not vote for any candidate that has discussed their imminent presidential legacy. (arrogance)

*Not vote for the most intelligent candidate as they tend to be too smart and freeze in times of crisis. (can’t lead)

*Not consider a candidate that has ever gone to Hollywood for a political fund raising event (little to no morals)

*Not consider a candidate that has been fishing fewer than 50 times in their life (not learned patience)

*Not consider a candidate that has never been disciplined with a paddle, belt, or switch (not learned the chain-of-command)

*Give more consideration for those candidates that were not born wealthy, served in some military capacity, and have owned a business (learned humility)

*Give less consideration for those with law degrees, has ever lived in Washington D.C. , and tends to start a sentence with the words, ”The fact of the matter is…” as this is the opening for most falsehoods (smarter than everyone else)

Any future president should be elected as the one best prepared to address the crisis’ we have yet to know. The nation’s emergencies need to be addressed by strong, realistic, and hard working people that do not rely on polls and do not fold under pressure. I just wish these candidates could wait until we are 6 months from Election Day to start their campaigning. It is just a longer period we have to endure the insincerity, the begging, and the slanderous accusations. And we are still 18 months from the primaries!!!

The Griffin sends. We'll handicap the field on these criteria soon.