Lex will, from time to time, handicap the 6 top tier candidates using the Griffin’s 10 recommendations on how to cast your vote. I’ll use a scale of one to 1-10. High score wins. Here’s the first point:
*Vote for the person most likely to succeed should they NOT be elected. (shows confidence)
Romney 10: Was the CEO of the Bain & Company management consulting firm, leading that firm out of the woods and into a hugely successful enterprise. He’s probably best known for saving America’s image after taking over and restoring the badly mismanaged Salt Lake Olympics. He won election to governor of an overwhelmingly blue state and wiped out a huge deficit without raising taxes.
Giuliani 9: Successful US Attorney fearlessly prosecuting mob bosses and crooked business tycoons, best selling author, successful Mayor of NYC, successful partner in several security business, yeah Rudi could get along.
McCain 6: Can fly an airplane, withstand incredible torture when asked to sign an anti-war paper in a foreign prison (but mysteriously folds like a paper hat when faced with signing an anti-free speech paper in congress at home), rose to the rank of Captain in the US Navy and served in both the house and senate. He has written a best selling book. So yeah, if he can run a Navy Squadron he can probably run something else.
Edwards 5: Does not have the legal pedigree of either Hussein or Shrill but at least managed to make something himself. As a personal injury lawyer, Edwards was so successful he managed to leave the one America we all live in and move into the second America where people live 28,000 square foot homes. Good for him. Then in a step down, John-boy served one term in the US Senate and joined John Cambodia Kerry’s presidential bid. During the campaign, John-boy’s ambulance chasing instincts could not be suppressed. In an over-the-top moment, John-boy combined his lawyer talents with those of a faith healer when he said, without cracking a smile, that if he and John Cambodia Kerry were elected, Christopher Reeves would walk again. He was only a one term senator because he saw the writing on the wall when it became obvious North Carolina voters had had enough of a huckster as senator.
Hussein 4: If it’s not non-profit or government work – government work being worse than non-profit and actually deficit work – Hussein has no experience. He has written a couple of books that have done well, so I suppose he could become a writer. He is a lawyer with the best pedigree of the bunch but has the least substantial case work to show for it. Hussein has made a name for himself largely and oddly by doing nothing more than…well…making a name for himself. Except for a single year at Business International Corporation, he truly has not worked at making a profit for any business enterprise.
Shrill 2: Not counting her amazing abilities when dealing cattle futures, what has Shrill accomplished on her own? NOTHING. Senator from NY, you say. If her last name were Schmidt, she wouldn’t have gotten ½ of a percent of the vote. Lawyer at Rose law firm, you say, she wouldn’t have had that job were her hillbilly, alley cat husband not the governor. Some gasbag once said, she was one of the best lawyers in the country. When some other gasbag asked the first gasbag to name one court ruling or case of significance that Shrill argued, the first gasbag was forced to sit in stunned silence. The only thing Shrill has going for her is her last name. Were she a woman of real substance, she’d have long ago thrown the name and the bum who gave it to her over board.
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