Let her walk

First claiming that it had nothing to do with size, (insert any of 10,000 worn out jokes about women insuring us that size doesn't matter here) but “everything to do with security,'' America's first elected Queen of the Congress, her Royal pain the Hind-End-Ness Nancy Pelosi continued to demand a larger plane for her royal travels. Then the Queen mum added, ``I have said that I am happy to ride commercial if the plane they have doesn't go coast to coast.'' So, I guess, if she’s willing to ride commercial, it really does have more to do with size than security.

The Queen added that Bush had personally told her that because the speaker is second in line of presidential succession, behind the Vice President, he was concerned about her security. Yes of course, security for the number 2 in line of succession to the presidency, because in the 231 years of the republic, the Speaker of the House has rose to be President of the United States based on succession, what 15, 10, 5, or was it, oh yeah exactly 0 times. So for goodness sakes, in the name of securing the republic and our very freedom, let’s make sure we have that base covered.

Then, not satisfied with Don Rumsfeld’s firing, Her Royal Arseholiness added this, "It still raises the question, why would the Department of Defense not be denying this information that has been conveyed? Why are they feeding the flames? Of course I have been a constant critic -- for nearly three years, I've called for the resignation of Donald Rumsfeld, who still has a desk at the Department of Defense, and I guess any chance they have ..." When reached for comment, the former Secretary of Defense replied to the Queen’s pettiness with a, “I know you are but what am I?” Followed by a “na, na, na, poo, poo.”

But, even as petty as the Queen is being about this issue, her foots man is taking it, pardon the pun, a step further. The Duke of Jackass Murtha said he is convinced the Pentagon has been leaking information about the possibility that Pelosi would use large military planes just to make her look bad. But really, does anyone need to “make her look bad” on this issue? Seems to me she’s doing a great job on her own. But, the Duke of Jackass growled on, "They're making a mistake when they leak it because she decides on allocations for them,'' referring to the Pentagon budget.

Wow! Did you get that Mr. & Mrs. America? Because the Queen doesn’t get a bigger air plane that she claims she doesn’t want, the Duke of Jackass is threatening to cut the Pentagon’s and thereby America’s defense budget. Used to be, when Democrat loons ran things and wanted to screw people, they’d confine their pettiness to some un-consequential place like the White House travel office, ruining the lives of the people who worked there rather than threatening the entire country. Now the Duke of Jackass Murtha says, if the Dems don’t get the little perks they want, they aren’t beyond screwing around with the defense of the country. No doubt, anyone who questions the Duke of Jackass’ patriotism after such a petty and dopey comment will be tarred in the MSM.

Not satisfied with that first bit of pettiness, the Duke of Jackass said he will hold hearings that examine the use of military planes by members of Congress and Bush administration officials for the past two fiscal years. Asked whether the hearings are payback for the decision on Queen Nancy’s request, the Duke’s blubbering jowls shook as he laughed and said, ``Would I do something like that?''

Does anyone else think we might need a new position in congress, something like a playground monitor?