Lex on deficits

I just blew $4,000 bucks on my new Beowulf .50 cal. Now I have a deficit in my savings account and with Mrs. Lex concerning my judgment. Whatever that deficit, I will cut it in half next year when I blow just $2,000 bucks on a Colt model Le 6920 AR 15. So if I can just bite the bullet this year, I will be in good stead with the family regarding my deficit problem next year because I will have cut it in half.

Makes no sense does it. Not to people with brains. But alas, the one thing in shorter supply in Washington DC than a balanced budget is someone with a brain.

So now I’ve been running deficits for a few years – but I have a handsome armory. I’m deep in debt, but I’m the envy of all my beer drinking buds back on the swale. Uh Oh, I can’t pay the mortgage or even put food on the table. No problem I’ll go to the bank for a bailout.

Mr. Banker says, “Not so fast my friend. You already owe us more money than it appears you can pay back. I don’t think we’ll lend you any more money.” So I go down into the basement and set up a counterfeiting operation. I just print my own worthless money.

So, there’s America, the shining city on the hill and envy of the world. Then along comes a compassionate conservative who runs up $500 BILLION a year in deficits. Then along comes the Dear Leader who wants to triple that deficit, proving once and for all that Republi-Rats cannot not out spend Demo-Dopes. Uh OH, Uncle Sam needs to borrow some money.

The bank – China in this case - says, “Whoa there big guy. We don’t think you can back your existing debt let alone another 9 TRILLION in superfluous BS.” No problem, the government just hires another shift over at the government printing office and prints another TRILLION dollars of worthless money. Now I go to jail for printing worthless money, but the government's worthless money operation has the benefit of being legal.

Stand up; raise your hands above your head and shout HALLELUJAH! if you think you can get yourself out of an intractable debt problem - that you got yourself into by barrowing money you couldn’t pay back - by barrowing even more money that you cannot pay back.

Congratulations to those standing and shouting with hands raised! You’re qualified to be a member of congress! Now, the only thing worse than borrowing the money is to just print up a bunch of even more worthless money.

Last: Congress feigned outrage at the execs at AIG who got bonuses even though it was they who got AIG into this mess in the first place. Well, congress has gotten us into THIS mess. Until the budget is balanced, I think everyone in government - less the military and law enforcement – ought to be working for a dollar a year. Try that and watch the rats desert the sinking ship.