All this sanctimonious talk about torture is the real torture

Chicago shock jock and part time conservative ManCow (the name tells you about all you need to know here) had himself waterboarded and declared it…wait…wait for it…TORTURE! Then he went onto Keith Olbermann’s little watched show to share the experience and decided that of the two, he’d prefer the waterboarding.

Ever the dope, Olby wanted ManCow to tell him how bad waterboarding really is. Let’s stipulate that it’s really bad. As anyone who might have had the wind knocked out of them knows, not being able to breath sucks. But, do I dare I say it, that’s the point.

Like having the wind knocked out of you, waterboarding does not kill you or even leave a scar. It is a very unpleasant sensation that sane people want to avoid at almost any cost. That by definition makes it very effective.

But torture? No. Not in the circumstance under which it was used:

It was not used gratuitously. In our seven and a half year struggle with man made disasterists, waterboarding has been used only three times. So, it is not as if we’re pulling in the Sgt Schultz’s of al Qaeda - who “know nothing” - and waterboarding them for the heck of it. Waterboarding the Sgt Schultz types would be torture because it serves no greater purpose than to inflict discomfort on the prisoner.

It was not used for revenge. Again, we’ve used it three times in seven and half years. We’re not pulling guys in and waterboarding them because they shot our buddy. Revenge was what Jack the a$$ Murtha claimed the Marines did in Haditha. But they didn’t waterboard anyone. According to Jack the despicable @ss, the Marines simply shot them…in “cold blood” which for libs is a less heinous crime than waterboarding I suppose. That claim, by the way, has since fallen completely apart. Now if we hold our breath (which ironically is essentially what waterboarding causes one to do) waiting on (g)assbag Murtha to apologize to the Marines he slandered, can we charge excrement for brains Murtha with torture?

Waterboarding was used in limited circumstances against high value targets to extract information that saved American lives – maybe by the 1,000s. We know that this true because, while perfectly comfortable with disclosing secret documents about enhanced interrogation that make America look bad and therefore HIM good, the Dear Leader is totally unwilling to release secret documents that disclose what was learned from those interrogations. Trust me on this. If the Dear Leader thought for an instant that releasing the results of the interrogations would do HIM any good, this self-serving punk would release those documents in a nanosecond.

Now if I hear one more “waterboarding is torture” idiot use the argument, “we shouldn’t do it because they will do it to us,” I think I might throw up. Here’s how stupid that argument is:

How many American POWs do al Qaeda and the Taliban currently hold? Zero. They are all dead. Many were tortured to death and their bodies dismembered.

How many times has the Red Cross or Red Crescent visited al Qaeda and Taliban POW camps? Again zero. There are none.

I guaran – damn - tee you Danny Pearl would have stood in line to be waterboarded in lieu of having his head sawed of while he was alive. That act and the murder of captured US servicemen by al Qaeda were both gratuitous and vengeful i.e. torture.

And oh by the way, we already waterboard our pilots and Special Forces guys. So that’s a moot point anyway.