The mythical two-state solution

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and a two-state solution – wait there is way more actual evidence that the first two might be real. The Loch Nest Monster, Big Foot and the two-solution - wait there is way more actual evidence that the first two might be real. Friendly Martians who pee gasoline and eat garbage landing in the USA, the Bengals win the Super Bowl and a two-state solution – wait there is about a 1,000 times more probability of the first two things happening before the the last one occurs.

The Dear leader is trying to push the mythical two-state solution off onto our only ally in the Middle East. This is dangerous for us and could be fatal for Israel. The reason that the two-state solution remains more elusive than El Dorado is that there is NO ONE for Israel to negotiate such an arrangement with. Who is Israel supposed to sit and negotiate with? Hamas?

The Hamas charter calls for the eventual creation of an Islamic state in Palestine. Perfect! Israel can deal with Hamas and everything will be great. Right? Wrong! The Hamas charter calls for this Palestinian state IN PLACE of Israel. It also calls for the obliteration or nullification of Israel.

Well Hamas is just a fringe player anyway – right? - so find someone else to negotiate with. WRONG again my dear public school graduate. Hamas actually won a majority in the Palestinian Parliament in 2006 elections. Then there was a rather bloody purge that left Hamas in control of the Gaza Strip and the other Palestinian political player – Fatah – in control of the West Bank. That is where we are today.

So what is really necessary is a three-state solution. Can’t Israel negotiate a two-state solution with Fatah? Gee you’re about as bright as the Dear Leader. How does that work? Fatah doesn’t even control the Gaza rocket launching Strip.

Beside Fatah is only slightly less thugish toward Israel than Hamas. The Fatah constitution calls for armed public revolution for the “Complete liberation of Palestine, and eradication of Zionist economic, political, military and cultural existence.” Gee sounds like they’d be a willing peace partner for a two-state solution, but only as a precursor to the one state - a Palestinian state - solution.

So who would you sit down to negotiate the rape of your wife and the murder of your children with? The three guys with butcher knives and Russian GSH 18 pistols? Or the three guys with hunting knives and Chinese T54 pistols? This is Israel’s predicament. The world wants Israel to negotiate with two groups that want to destroy it.

The correct answer, of course, is neither. You and your 8 sons pull out your uzis and kill all 6 of the bastards, cut their heads off and post them on pikes outside your house as a warning to others. And, if you had nuclear bullets for uzis all the better.