Back to the future with Slower than ever Joe

Aside from being mean, nasty, ugly, lying trolls with bad hair who ran and lost multiple presidential campaign bids, what do Slow Joe Biden and Shrillda the Hutt have in common?  They just will not go away.  Shrillda the Hut is back from her worldwide blame tour with the only ones left to blame, on Earth anyway, for her 2016 azzwippin’ are herself and the Huli Wigman tribesmen of Papua New Guinea.  So I guess it’s off to Papua New Guinea for the Hutt to finally fix blame for “what happened” once and for all.

The world’s toughest man, Slow Joe Biden, is back in the news for doing what tough guys do, talk tough.  We know Joe’s a tough guy because he eats at diners like Rose’s (except it closed three years before Slow Joe mentioned it).  We know he’s tough because he wears aviator sunglasses made popular during WWII and remained so up until about 25 years ago. We know Slow Joe’s tough because he tells everyone he played football at Delaware (except there’s no record of him ever making the team). We know Slow Joe is tough because he once told a woman who dare question him that he had a higher IQ than she did (which, given his dumbazzedness, is nearly impossible). We know he’s tough because he’s never once held a job that required that he break a sweat or get his hands dirty. Most of all we know Slow Joe Biden is a tough guy because Slow Joe Biden is forever telling everyone that Slow Joe Biden is a tough guy.  

Slow Joe says he’d have punched PDJT in the face had he said what he said on the Billy Bush tape back in high school.  Think that one through.  Here’s a 197 year old man?, a former VP of the United States of America talking about what he’d have done back in high school.  YGBSM? 

Let it go Joe.  Grow up.  We’re not back at Riverdale High and you aren’t the prom queen anymore. What a pathetic loser.  “Hey Joe, quick help that old lady with her groceries.”  “Well back in high school, I’d have double bagged ‘em, stacked ‘em, carted ‘em and put ‘em on the buckboard for that pretty lady, who, by the way, I’m way smarter than.”

“Joe, Kim Jun Un is threatening to blow up the world.  Whattawedo?”  “Un’s nothing.  Why back in high school we were facing a real commie threat until I went over to Moscow and told Lenin I’d slap the white off of him if he didn’t knock it off.”

When someone asks, “What have you been up to lately” my answer isn’t typically, “Well I just got back from the prom” or some other high school reference.  So when a 197 year old man? is still making high school references I think WTF. 

Well if I were still in high school, right now I’d be filing into homeroom with some rubber dog sh*t I’d throw next to Mrs. Donavan’s desk.  I wonder if Slow Joe the perpetual tattletale hall monitor is going to come beat me up now. 

There is still no word on what Slow Joe would have done had to Billbo Billyboy Clinton if he'd raped someone back in high school.