Biden may have bumbled his way into a sound campaign strategy

In that Slow Joe get a shotgun (it never gets old) Biden is possibly the dumbest man on the planet, I doubt that Slowest of all Joes had anything to with it. He was probably pulled out of his backyard pool nude and told how his campaign was going to unfold. After about two weeks of breaking it down into terms the slow one could understand, the handlers explained this strategy this way: 

Handlers:  Look Joe your dumb as a post and everyone knows it.  Your best work is the work you plagiarized.

Biden:  It was a footnoting error, man.

Handlers:  Look lifting 5 pages of someone else’s work on a 15 page college paper is not a footnoting error.  Neither is lifting Neil Kinnock’s entire campaign speech. For crying out loud man, get grip, and put some damn clothes on.

Biden:  Clothes?

Handlers:  You’re naked man!  Cover up!

Biden:  Oh I hadn’t noticed.  How do I look?  I still have the same highly tuned athletic frame as when I used to rush the ol’ pigskin for the Delaware Fighting Blue Hens.

Handlers:  First off you never “rushed the ol’ pigskin for the Delaware Fighting Blue Hens.“  That was another one of your useless lies.  Next, you’re a flabby creepy old white man, and you look disgusting. No one wants you to so much as touch them let alone see your flabby bare azz.  Please put your clothes on.

Biden:  I dunno how’s our demographic with nudists?  There may be some votes there to plumb, if you know what I mean.

Handlers:  What?  You're nuts.  Besides what the hell kind of mascot is a “Fighting Blue Hen”?

Biden:  I dunno.  Maybe all of the good animals were already taken?

Handlers:  Joe, every time I think you’ve said the dumbest thing possible, you keep right on talking and amaze me with something dumber than what just escaped out of that vacuum you call a head. 

Biden:  Hey it’s ol’ Uncle Joe!  Right?  I can say anything.  As long as people don’t expect anything thoughtful, I get a pass.  I can and have said the dumbest things imaginable and the MSM response is always, “Well it’s ol’ Uncle Joe.  What do you expect?”  They expect nothing and I deliver every single time.  The last thing we want to do is blow that scenario up with an occasional thoughtful remark.

Handler:  Sit down Joe.  Let me tell how this thing will play out.

Biden:  Let me put on some clothes on.

Handler:  No, sit down Joe.  I can feel that sucking vortex between your ears pulling the collective IQ of the group gathered here down to your level.  We need to get out of here before we’re all blithering idiot like you.

Biden:  Well you guys go ahead. I’m just going to do some jumping jacks to stay in shape as we go over this stuff.

Handler:  Oh, dear god no.  Sit down.  This is only going to take a minute because that time frame coincides with your ability to concentrate.  Here’s what we’re going to do.  We delay your announcement for as long as humanly possible.  That’ll accomplish two things.  One, it will limit the amount of time that you have to say stupid things.  Two, it will allow the 2,337 Dope candidates to race so far left that you’ll look saner than the rest. That’s no easy task.  Now, we’d like you go back into hiding and please don’t say anything unless you’ve lifted it from someone with a brain.  Got it?

Biden:  Got it, champ!  Ok, now for some jumping jacks.

Handlers:  RUN FOR IT MEN!!