How would you have liked to have taken a test where every answer was the same no matter what the question? Let’s say ten is the answer. The first question, 5+5=? Ten works pretty well. Next, who is the President of the United States? Ten, you reply confidently. What is the capital of Montana? Ten again, who knew? And everyone sits silently nodding with certainty that ten is the obvious and only answer to every question. Nobody stands up and says, you whooo, I gotta problem with that one. It gets pretty ridiculous pretty fast. Well let’s change the answer to “global warming” and apply the same logic.
If Phoenix, AZ gets hot during the summer, eco nuts blame global warming. If it rains too much in Texas, it’s global warming. If it doesn’t rain enough in Ft. Wayne, IN, it’s global warming. If ice falls from the sky, it’s global warming. If we have an unusually long or cold winter, it’s global warming. If it snows in April in Ft. Wayne, it’s global warming. If a great white shark shows up in the waters off of Great Britain, it’s global warming.
How can you lose an argument when no matter what happens, it’s agreed that global warming is the cause. I watched a History Channel show on the Little Ice Age (LIA 1650-1850). Trust me. We’d be far better off with a warming period rather than a cooling period. But a couple of points sprang out. The LIA sprung upon the world in very short order – about a decade – and ran the Vikings out of Greenland. Now, as the two people who visit this page regularly know, Lex has been asking the global warming crowd to explain how the Vikings were able farm Greenland before man’s insensitivity to Earth by the widespread use of the internal combustion engine. What exactly caused THAT warming? Could we be in another similar warming period?
Well at the end of the show many climatologists sensed we were closer to the start of a new LIA than an Armageddon by global warming. But guess what eco nuts blamed the coming LIA on? Drum roll please…you guessed it – global warming. How can you lose? No matter what happens to the Earth’s temperatures, it’s caused by global warming. Let’s change the answer to all questions on global temperatures to one of the following:
We don’t know.
The sun.
The Earth is always evolving.
After all, everybody prefers a multiple choice test.
1 comment:
The term "global warming" has lost it's innocence as a statement of a condition of our planet to take on a political meaning and can thus never be used in a neutral discussion. Therefore the words need changed. I have several suggestions but would leave it to Lex to separate the condition from the politics. Here are a few to consider "Varying World Thermals" or " Earthly Aysemtrical Temperature Ascentions" or possibly "Global Humidity Rise" (it is not the heat but the humidity). Regardless, we need to stop saying "global warming" lest we create a worldwide liberal panic at the sushi bar. Next time just say something like "Boy, these slow-paced, rising heat gradients of soil and seas is pleasantly gratifying on my stiff neck". Then yell "GLOBAL WARNING" for fun and reach for the smelling salts.
Stock tip of the week is any company making sunblock.
The Griffin.
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