Friday, January 30, 2009

Quick! Give me all of your money - I'll explain later

Haste makes waste – or so we’ve been told since we were old enough to wipe our own butts. Seems the only time haste doesn’t make waste is when Democrats want 900 billion dollars of YOUR money. When that’s the case, hell we gotta do it now the entire solar system depends on giving Democrats control of that money before Washington’s Birthday – now known to public school slackers as President’s Day.

In any crisis - or perceived crisis - the first option is to do nothing. In the book The Red and the Black set in 16th or 17th century France (Required reading for some college class) I recall one part that makes the point. A woman is walking and talking with a man in a courtyard. A wall surrounds the yard. While the wall only rises a few feet on the courtyard side, it falls steeply away on the opposite side.

As the man and woman continue to walk, the woman notices her young son walking atop the wall, arms out stretched for balance. The woman is aghast with fear for her son’s safety. Her first instinct is to shout out at the young boy. Her mind does one of those lightening quick calculations and concludes that a sudden shout might startle the boy causing the very outcome she hopes to avoid. So she does nothing. She doesn’t even break stride, another move she calculates might distract the young boy. She waits until the boy successfully concludes his jaunt then points out the danger of the activity just completed.

Let’s face it, the likelihood of the collection of preening (g)assbags called congress doing nothing when they have an opportunity to generate a crisis and print worthless money to dole out to their campaign supporters in the guise of solving or mitigating the crisis they have generated is exactly nil.

So the next rule ought to be the golden rule of medicine – first do no harm. Dumping 900 billion dollars into the economy without regard for fraud, waste, abuse and hyper inflation seems a bit rash to guy who doesn’t much about the economy except keeping his own checkbook balanced.

Why the rush for 900 billion most of which cannot be allocated until 2010? The bill is over 600 pages of entitlements that not one representative, senator or the Dear Leader have even bothered to read. There have been no committee meetings or a single hearing on what’s in the bill. Why? Why not a 200 billion dollar package of IMMEDIATE carefully considered stimulus? If another 200 billion is needed later, it could be prepared and carefully considered while the first 200 billion is being spent.

What the (g)assbags in congress are doing with this insane 900 billion dollar Democrat Party payoff bill that no one has read or even knows what it contains is akin to a Dr. ordering a leg amputated because the patient has a blister on his foot. The leg may eventually have to come off, but that is a stupid first move.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Odd things Thursday

Bipartisan opposition

All of the Republicans and 11 Democrats voted AGAINST the reparations…uh…stimulus package. Does that mean that there is bipartisan opposition to the bill? You know that if even one Republican had voted for this abomination, the Dear Leader and his MSM lemmings would be hailing it as a triumph of bipartisan cooperation over petty politics – even if the Republican that voted in favor said he made a mistake and pushed the wrong button (something the Dear Leader did at least twice during his brief stay in the IL senate by the way).

Infrastructure spending

Am I nuts (yes) or should this have already been figured into our tax bill? So there’s a bridge on the federal highway known as I 70 that runs through some state, lies within some county in that state, within some township, maybe within some municipality and all of the above are collecting gas and other taxes under the guise of “maintaining” roads and bridges. But wait! Now we learn infrastructure all over America is crumbling. The perfect example of this phenomenon is the levies in New Orleans. Tons of money was allocated to shore the levies up. Yet when the storm came, the levies failed. How the hell? Shouldn’t someone be fired or put in jail?

No. This is how things work. The government taxes gas to keep the roads repaired but actually uses the money to provide housing, food, substance abuse counseling, methadone, alcohol abuse counseling, child care, child abuse counseling, sex classes, sexual abuse counseling, art classes and a grant for an art exhibit at the local library of popsicle sticks glued together in the form of a giant dildo (which eerily resembles R.C. Turdbin’s head) constructed during a drug induced haze by a strung out uneducated unwed mother of 4 by 4 different fathers.

So if “the government” can’t use tax money allocated over the last 30 years to maintain the roads, why would we think that they’ll suddenly grow a brain and use the reparations…uh…stimulus money to repair the roads? That is particularly troublesome when skilled white men won’t be allowed to work on the projects. Yes unskilled minos repairing bridges are the key to stimulating the economy. Open an auto repair shop now in your black wife’s Hispanic surname. This is the perfect storm for all things auto repair, body work and auto wrecking.


You gotta love this guy. Sure he’s crooked as the 17th hole at Cypress Point, but so is everyone running him out of office. The IL senate might as well announce, “Let the wheels of justice spin. Bring the guilty bastard in.” Why pretend that they are doing anything other than railroading Blago before he has an opportunity to taint the Dear Leader and any of his minions?

Dennis Miller made an excellent observation when he asked, “How does this creepy foul mouthed guy get better treatment from the MSM than John McCain who spent six years as a POW?”

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Democrats order pork dinner expect Republicans to pay

The Lex family of 3 met a neighbor family of 5 for dinner last night. When we showed up, the neighbors were already there at the table. After greeting everyone, I sat down next to the neighbor and picked up a menu. “Don’t bother,” said the neighbor, “we already ordered everything.”

The waiter came and delivered expensive drinks all around to my neighbor’s family. We got water, but the waiter asked if we’d like a lemon slice. Then the waiter brought expensive desserts to the neighbor’s kids – before dinner. “They’ve been good the last couple of days and we don’t want them to act up tonight.” Then the waiter brought two of every appetizer on the menu and set them down in front of the neighbors.

Before much the appetizers had been eaten they were whisked away and three different bowls of soup were placed in front of each of the neighbors. “We just couldn’t decide so we thought we’d taste a bit of each,” he explained. Soon the nearly untouched soup bowls were being whisked away and salad plates of every kind and at least 15 different kinds of bread were being laid in front of the neighbors. The waiter asked if we needed anymore water.

Before anyone could enjoy much of the salad and/or bread, it was taken away and 5 of every menu entrĂ©e began arriving. Only a few bites of each were eaten before the item was taken from the table to make room for the next item. As this was going on but well before it was finished, the neighbor’s family got up and excused themselves. “The kids have a lot of homework tonight,” he said throwing a $20 on the table. “That ought to cover our share” he said.

“What!” I said. “I didn’t even order any of this crap, you wasted most of the food and $20 isn’t even close to your share.” “Hey, I just thought we’d settle up the bill in bipartisan manner. Besides we can out vote you,” the neighbor said.

So the Democrats write a 1.1 trillion dollar reparations…umm…stimulus bill with money to ACORN, abortion mills, neighborhood organizing and every other Democrat interest group without so much as a single input from Republicans and the president thinks Republicans ought to get on board to demonstrate the bipartisan nature of the bill. Paying the bill it seems is as much bipartisan support as the Dems want.

Well, here’s all we need to know:

Conservatives didn’t have anything to do with crafting this piece of excrement.

Democrats crafted every pork laden special interest pandering wasteful line.

Conservatives do not think it will stimulate the economy.

Democrats believe printing more worthless money and piling government debt on top of government debt will solve everything.

Conservatives should vote no.

Democrats do not need a single Republican vote in the house and not more than two or three Republican votes to pass it out of the senate. Democrats want Republican votes so that in 2010, when we’re really in an excrement sandwich, they can say well the reparations…uh…stimulus package passed with bipartisan support so you can’t blame Democrats for this crap hoagie.

Call your congressman to stop this idiocy. Michelle Malkin has the numbers here.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Geithner and another sleazy dirt bag

Oh good, 320 million Americans and the Dear Leader and the congress settle for a tax cheat and liar as Sec. Treasury. Finally, Geithner’s confirmation provides some diversity in the cabinet. Geithner represents all of America’s liars and cheats – the largest and densest population of whihc being in Washington D.C. Seems to me cheats and liars are the most over represented people in government.


Here a coach gets fired for running the score up on some hapless team and America gets outraged. Too bad Americans can’t get as upset when the Dear Leader nominates a tax cheat and liar to run the US Treasury.

First the dope coach wasn’t fired for running the score up. He was fired for contradicting the school administration – his boss – that had apologized and offered to forfeit the game. Dopey disagreed with the administration - his boss - and said so to a newspaper. Hey idiot you might try walking into the Headmaster’s office and running your half wit thoughts by him before shooting your ignorant mouth off to the press.

Next, the idiot coach should have been fired for running the score up to 100-0 in the first place. Now we hear all of the apologists, "What was he supposed to do? You can’t make the girls not score." Yes you can. Here’s what should/could have been done:

Ahead at 49-0 at the half, walk to the other coach and offer two of your best player to other team.

Order a minimum of 15 passes per possession in the second half and no shots closer than 5 feet behind the three point line.

Order a sagging zone on defense that allows no player closer than two feet to an opposition player.

One idiot chick said, “Well we’re trying to teach the girls to be the best they can be then we tell them to not score. What kind of message are we sending?” Oh hell I don’t know, compassion, sportsmanship, fair play, proportional response, civility, charity, helpfulness, not to beat a defenseless man to death just because you can, you know stupid stuff like that.

No doubt the same chick will be whining when some heartless bastard cuts her off in the supermarket parking lot or pushes her out of the way to get to head of the line somewhere - or worse shoots or otherwise mistreats prisoners, steals from the company or investors, cheats on his taxes and lies about it, etc. etc. Well, where do you suppose people learn such behavior?

I’ve been on both sides of lopsided scores. The one I remember most was a high school football game. We were ahead by 40+ points at the half. We could have let every player on the team score a touchdown. We could have had one of our backs set the single game rushing record. Instead we punted on first down every time in the second half and didn’t score again. What would be the point?

Monday, January 26, 2009

Polo and Reparations

Polo roughians

When I saw this odd bit of news about Serb and Croat fans rioting at the Australian Open tennis matches Friday, my first thought was, “Oh my God Buffy, tennis riots? What’s next Polo hooligans disrupting the final couple of chukkers at The Courage Cup?”

Then I was reminded how President Clinton told us we’d only be in Bosnia for one year. That was way back in 1995. It's 2009 and we’re still there. If my public school math is correct, that’s just over one year.

This is good news. When Democrats say something is going to take a year, they really mean it will last indefinitely. That means when the Dear Leader say we’ll close G’itmo in a year it really means it’ll stay open forever. Another good thing is when a Dem says something that doesn’t turn out to be true like, Saddam is developing WMD, we’ll be out of Bosnia in a year, the big dig will only take 3 years, we’re in a post racial period or we’re only going to tax the rich the lame brained MSM just go right along with it, without so much as an oops.

800 Billion dollar Reparations…um…stimulus bill

Republican elected officials are all filled with hope-n-change. Instead of an opposition party, Reps are acting like the “we think the Dear Leader is slightly less god-like than the Dems think” party. Reps are afraid of opposing the Dear Leader for any number of reasons chief among them is being called a racist. That fact plus the fact that the Dems have overwhelming majorities in both houses probably means the Rangel/Reich reparations package is likely to become law.

Republicans should oppose this idiocy on several accounts. First, it won’t work. All you’d have to do is point to the $700 billion dollar bank bailout. It hasn’t worked as intended. Dems say the money will go toward “shovel ready” infrastructure projects. HA!! There’s no such thing. Governments can’t turn a spade of dirt without 10 years of environmental impact studies and statements of how the project will affect the off, off, off white-winged, cloven toed, black beaked, silver bellied sparrow whose population has actually soared since the demise of Morgan the cat at the hands (or should that be paws) of Stanley the dog. All of the environmental idiocy is visited upon us by left-wing loons. You know the guys who insist that the polar bears are going extinct in spite of the fact that their numbers have increased 5 fold in the last 30 years.

Next, it’ll be fraught with fraud. Not only aren’t the banks lending the bailout money to the ordinary Joe’s who are footing the bill, they are looting the funds to do 100 million dollar makeovers of their corporate bathrooms. Even if it works, which it won’t, there will still be billions of dollars of fraud that the Republicans can point to and indicate the bill was a bad idea.

Note: Rare weekend blogging below. Don't miss it!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

The Dear Leader attacks private citizen

The New York Post is reporting that the Dear Leader said this at a meeting with congressional leaders Friday:

You can't just listen to Rush Limbaugh and get things done," he told top GOP leaders, whom he had invited to the White House to discuss his nearly $1 trillion stimulus package.

This just cannot be true. The President of the United States tells members of congress that they can’t listen to a private American citizen. Stunning! Hey I know this can be parsed around the word “just.” But still for the President of the United States to single out a private citizen who has committed no crime for this kind of attention is just creepy as hell.

And it’s stupid. Rush made Harry Reid look like a bigger Richard Cranium than he actually is (no small feat there) when the Leader of the Senate and 40+ members of his party wrote a letter to Clear Channel demanding that Rush be fired for telling the truth about a liar. Rush auctioned Scrawny Harry’s letter off on e-bay. His already extraordinary ratings went through the roof. He appeared daily on TV to lampoon the Senate Leader. Most important he raised 10s of millions of dollars on the auction for the Marine Corps Law Enforcement Foundation.

Having learned nothing from the scrawny one’s experience, our Dear Leader has just jumped into the shark tank. And what will the Dear Leader have accomplished with his stone-stupid remark? He will have added 100s of thousands of new listeners to the very show he doesn’t want congressional leaders listening to. Brilliant! The Dear Leader is obviously the smartest guy in the room.

On Monday all across America, millions of radios will be tuned into the EIB network to hear what Rush does with the gift the Dear Leader has just handed him. All across the land, cars will pull over and stop, work will cease and school children will assemble boosting the Great Ones audience from the paltry 20 million listeners to 30 or 40 million.

What will El Rushbo do? Only the master knows for sure. I’ll bet there is some sort of merchandizing angle – t-shirts, coffee mugs or something. Whatever it is, it’ll be funny. It’ll earn money for one of Rush’s charities and it’ll make the Dear Leader look petty and small.

Note to our Dear Leader: You the most powerful and possibly the most admired man in the world. What in the hell are you doing taking on a private citizen?

Shocking!! City of Gary, IN wastes taxpayer money

This bit of idiocy appeared in Ft. Wayne Daily Fish Wrap on 22 Jan.:

Though state and federal laws have – unwisely, in our opinion – given gun makers and dealers broad protections from lawsuits, the Indiana Supreme Court has kept alive a suit from the city of Gary.

Gary accuses several local dealers and gun makers – including Smith & Wesson, Colt and Beretta – of violating state public nuisance laws in selling guns, particularly for making “straw purchases,” selling a gun to a buyer knowing it was intended for someone else.

As the Supreme Court noted in an earlier ruling, Gary police used a sting operation. “An undercover officer first told a dealer’s salesperson that he could not lawfully purchase a gun, for example, because he had no license or had been convicted of a felony, and a second undercover officer then made a purchase with the clerk’s knowledge that the gun would be given to the first.”

Gary, the court noted, alleges “the manufacturers know of these illegal retail sales of handguns” and also asserts that “the manufacturers and distributors have the ability to change the distribution system to prevent these unlawful sales but have intentionally failed to do so.”

Laws granting the gun industry immunity from lawsuits specifically exclude “an action in which a manufacturer or seller of a qualified product knowingly violated a State or Federal statute applicable to the sale.”

Gary still faces stiff hurdles, including a possible U.S. Supreme Court challenge and the cost of pursuing the lawsuit. But seeking a court judgment on whether dealers and makers broke state laws and are therefore liable is worthy of pursuing by a city that continually has one of the highest homicide rates in the nation.

Lex tilted at the JG editorial staff one more time:

As hard as it is, I now have even less respect for the editors at the JG than when the day began based on the idiocy of this morning’s “Why Gary can keep pursuing lawsuit against gun makers.” It seems to me that you are willing to sacrifice your personal and journalistic integrity to advance a political agenda here.

Straw buyers? I’m shocked! Manufacturers know that these straw sales are taking place!? Get a clue, EVERYONE knows these sales are taking place. And here’s another shocker that probably never crossed your collective closed minds, straw buyers buy alcohol, medicine, cigarettes, houses, cars, clothes, boats - well maybe someone there has cracked the code. There are straw buyers who buy nearly every product produced and turn it over to a third party who then uses it for some illegal or immoral purpose.

So by your absurd logic, Budweiser should be held responsible and sued when some dope buys a 20 year old a case of beer and that 20 year old wrecks his car killing a mother of four in the process.

The president has called for a new era of responsibility. How about we start advocating that the people who commit actual gun crimes start being held responsible. Commit a crime with a gun, go to jail for 10 years every time, no exceptions. Unless of course you are Tim Geithner and just forgot.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Cancer, taxes and the sub-human Whitey man

Fire, aim, ready

As supreme allied commander of my humble abode, I have signed an executive order stating that this household will find a cure for cancer within a year. When asked how, I simply said, "that will be the subject of another executive order later."

Absurd? Well how much different is it than what our Dear Leader did yesterday? He said he’d close G’itmo in a year and the left went wild with joy. When asked what he was going to do with the human waste stored there he said, “I dunno. We’ll figure it out later.”

Wouldn’t it be better to get it all figured out, then announce the closing immediately? No. It’s much more important to get credit for the good deeds you intend to do rather the ones you might actually accomplish.

Like paying your taxes, the devil is in the detail. Now if you're Tim Geithner, this would be easy.

This was all a dog and pony show for the media and the worldwide left.

A crook at Treasury

It looks as if Tim I forgot Geithner is a shoe in at Treasury. Write you senators and tell them it’s important that the guy running the IRS not be a tax cheat himself.

If the IRS ever called me in for an audit and found that I owed money, I’ demand a trial and subpoena famous tax cheats Geithner and Rangel.

First question, "Now Mr. Geithner you are at the same time a famous tax cheat and head of the IRS, right?"

When white does what’s right – Whitey man need not apply

But what really has my shorts in a wad this A.M. is this bit moronory from former Labor Sec. Bobby no money for whites Reich. What a complete @sswipe.

Sure whitey man can pay the bill for the stimulus, but don’t expect to get any of it – even if your company is the most qualified. Can you say - open and blatant discrimination - redistribution of wealth - and reparations?

Did you notice how quickly the investigation into the disrepair of the Walter Read Army Hospital faded into the back of the paper and then out of the news altogether when it was discovered that minority contractors were responsible for many of the problems?

Do you remember what happened when congress decided it’d be a good idea to give minorities with no collateral money to buy a house – Fannie and Freddie?

Look this is simple. Contracts should go to the most qualified – particularly when you’re talking about infrastructure projects comprising a great deal of the reparations…uh…er…stimulus money. We don’t need on the job training for bridge builders.

Were I whitey man, I’d put my company in my wife’s name and legally have her name changed to Consuelo Rodriguez explaining that she is bisexual and in that offensive “race” block I’d mark “other” and explain that Consuelo is a black Arab Asian of Hispanic origin who practices the multi-culti religion of AthyMusloChrist-O-HindiJew and Obama worship.

The way things are going so far, the biggest public works project is going to be hauling all of the BS out of D.C.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Finally! Hope-n-change a jihadi can believe in

Well I guess if you’re a jihadi you’re feeling all of that hope-n-change today. Obama’s first act as president was to circulate a “draft” for closing G’itmo in a year. Being ever the patriot, well at least when he’s not calling for America to cut and run from a conflict nearly won or calling US fighting men murderers, Jack the ample @ss Murtha has signed up his own western PA district up to accept the murdering bastards currently held at G’itmo.

I’m sure the jihadis will feel right at home with Jack the dumb@ss Murtha as their congressman. I’m sure western PA’s who voted to keep this waste of spermicidal tissue in office are also excited about being considered for as the new home for jihadis interested in destroying America. And quite frankly, if America is to be destroyed, Murtha’s district would be the perfect place to start in my opinion.

But wait, there’s more hope-n-change for jihadis. The Washington Times is reporting that Obama will close all of the CIA’s “black sites” (is that racist?). No Al Sharpton, CIA “black sites” are not some relic of a segregationist past. The so-called “black sites” are where the CIA and European security services are believed to have interrogated terrorist suspects.

We can’t have that in the era of hope-n-change. Better to let the jihadis systematically destroy America rather than exercise some modicum of common sense to protect America.

And in a last bit of hope-n-change for our jihadi friends our Dear Leader has decided that nothing outside the Army Field Manual for interrogation will do for gallant Islamo-terror-fascists trying to blow up America. So if you’re an interrogator, you could be in trouble if you don’t offer the jihadis crumpets and cream and sugar with their coffee or tea.

But hey, with Mrs. Clinton confirmed as Sec. State and tax cheat Geithner headed to Treasury at least this administration is taking seriously the “ethics” piece of paper the Dear Leader signed yesterday.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

How is the presidency like an NFL Super Bowl contender?

Every team in the NFL starts the season undefeated. Most of the fan bases in the NFL start the season believing that their team will make the playoffs and once in the playoffs who knows, maybe the Super Bowl and once in the Super Bowl who knows, maybe Super Bowl champs.

Well team Obama is ready to take the field and the team’s base is all decked out in BHO hats, shirts, sunglasses, shorts, under shorts, BHO socks, shoes, watches, braces, BHO coolers, cups, cozies, pennants, BHO seat cushions, rings, body piercing and instead of the usual body paint BHO fans have actually gone out and had themselves tattooed.

Before the first snap of the season, slavish media whores are proclaiming team Obama the greatest team ever, unbeatable, and question why the season should even be played out – just crown them and move on. The media does this in spite of pre-season missteps with a lying cheat at Treasury and a Chicago thug as Chief of Staff.

Well that’s how the NFL season starts. Every team is undefeated. But after week one almost always, 50% are one game back in their perspective divisions. By mid-season about half of the team’s playoff hopes are dead or on life support.

So if you’re a Bengals fan, you start off with high hopes, but by game four of the season you’re looking forward to the tailgate party more than the game.

What the MSM’s adoration of Obama has done is to set expectation so high that there is no where to go but down. Take the inaugural as a microcosm. Obama’s speech was pedestrian at best. The “poem” – if anyone with a brain can call it that - was absolute crap. The benediction was a bit of racist BS of worthy Rev. Wright tidied up with “give me three Amen’s” at the end. Apparently for a preacher, saying Amen at the end of a racist prayer is akin to an enlisted man saying, “with all due respect sir” before saying something disrespectful.

But where is the diehard fan who has invested everything in his team to go? Nowhere. You make excuses. When the team loses, it was the refs fault. When the candidate delivers a dud of speech at his inauguration, count on the MSM to tell you how great it was. When the team fumbles, you holler to bench the running back. When a "poem" is presented that makes no sense to anyone, you count on the MSM to tell us only those truly in touch with the American spirit would understand the poem. When the offence can’t move the ball, you call for a new offensive coordinator. When the preacher dabbles in racism at the benediction, you hear Jesse Jackson, Spike Lee and Al Sharpton shout, DAMN RIGHT!

Oh yeah, and how about that oath? Having been on both sides of many oath readings, let me tell you it doesn’t matter who screws up, you just keep going. If the reader screws up, the receiver has two choices, say the right words or simply repeat what was presented. The worst choice is to stop, back up, talk over one another, stumble and stammer. Also, the presenter is always right. Why? Because the receiver is supposed to “repeat after me.”

Last, best line of the day: The incomparable Mark Steyn had the best line of the day when commenting on Obama’s “wafer thin resume.” Steyn said words to the effect: “Community organizer? I don’t even know what that is. I’ve never lived in a community that needed an organizer. I’m not sure I’d even want to live in a community that needed an organizer. I suppose if your community needs an organizer, that means you live in a failed community.”

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Mission Accomplished Mr. President

There’s something important going on today. I cannot remember what. Hmmm, what was it?

Anyway, it’s now been 2,688 days since 9-11 and we haven’t had another major attack on America. America owes President Bush and Vice President Cheney a hearty "Thank You!" Sadly the MSM and Democrats will see to it that they do not get it until long after the president and vice president and the current group of brain-dead MSM and Dem hacks have long been laid to rest.

But hey for now, it’s still a free country. So let me say, “Finally, Mission Accomplished President Bush and Vice President Cheney. Well done. Thank you.”

Oh yeah, now I remember I'm going out to lunch at noon today.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Support the dear leader

The local fish wrap ran this piece of enlightened "can’t we all just get along" crap. Lex sets them straight below.

Here’s a news flash to Brent Smith, the MSM, and the RNC, American politics isn’t T-ball. You do NOT have to root for both Sides.

Smith’s or the JG’s demand, as proclaimed in the headliner of today’s letter section, that “We must support” Obama is 180 degrees out of phase. Not only is there no requirement to support a president – any president no matter how historic – there’s an absolute obligation of the press the people and the opposition party to expose the weaknesses of presidential policy, offer different policies and when necessary oppose and block bad policies.

If you do not believe me, ask Harry Reid, the MSM nearly 100% of Democrats who claimed the surge a failure and the war lost while American fighting men were risking their lives in the field.

I do not support President Obama because:

I do not support abortion on demand for 15 year olds without parental notification or infanticide or the use of tax payer dollars for Mengele like research on stem cells.

I do not support having three or four unwashed union thugs watching how I vote on whether or not my shop should unionize.

I do not support treating Islamo-terror-fascists like petty criminals.

I do not support turning tail and running from a war nearly won.

I do not support having a tax cheat and liar running the US Treasury.

I do not support open borders, higher taxes or assaults on the second amendment and marriage.

The big danger with President Obama is not his policies. This country has been having policy disputes since 1776. The danger is that, because of the historic nature of President Obama’s election, we are all now expected to get in line like good communists and support our dear leader.

Paraphrasing WFB, I for one am willing to stand athwart history and yell “Stop!”

Friday, January 16, 2009

Friday round up

Global Warming

In the worst case of global warming yet in Ft. Wayne, schools are closed today because it’s -10 with a wind chill of -30. The Boy Scout Klondike Derby has been cancelled due to cold weather as well. I know that AlGore has to be in the area somewhere promoting his idiocy. Everywhere that poor dope goes the temperature plunges.

Sarah Palin

Apparently P-E Obama “forgot” to invite Sarah Palin to the inaugural ball honoring John McCain. Hmm. Who was working the guest list Tim Geithner? People are looking at this as some kind of snub to Sarah. No. The only people who will be on the short end of the stick are the people who go to that event. Who’d want to be around McCain AND Obama at the same time? One at a time please.

An everyday miracle

Yeah that one. I’ll pay a bit more attention the next time I hear the words, “In the unlikely event of a water landing…”

Second Geithner reference

Nina Easton claims that because Geithner is the only one that can steer us through this current financial crisis, being a tax cheat and liar may not be enough to keep him from being confirmed. Wonderful. Hey Lex we know he’s a tax cheat, but how’s he a liar? Well I’m glad you asked that question, any educated person – even a one from the public schools – who says he “forgot he had to pay taxes” is a liar.

But still the brilliant class in Washington D.C. who got us into this mess claim Geithner is a must to get us out. That makes as much sense as Calvin Coolidge saying he has to have Al Capone at justice to stop bootlegging. The good news is that another tax cheat and liar – Charlie Rangel – will be writing the tax code. No doubt some sort of retro active rule will come out of Rangel’s committee allowing for highly placed people to “forget” to pay their taxes from time to time.

Bush farewell

I like Bush. I liked his farewell. I pity the Bush haters who will have to actually look for some cause and effect when things go wrong in their lives now instead of reflexively blaming Bush. Obama and the MSM will have no such obligation. They will spend the next 4 years taking credit for Bush policies in Iraq and Afghanistan and blaming him for everything that goes wrong.

I got the sense that this line from the farewell address could have applied to President Bush himself, “this great Nation will never tire … never falter … and never fail.”

Barry bypasses Bush

Meanwhile, P-E Obama was providing a new definition for low rent punk. Right as the President was scheduled to speak to the nation, Barry it’s all about me now Obama was headed out for dinner. Who goes out to eat after 7 p.m. on a weeknight? Barry and other Euro@sswipes that’s who.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Rick Baxter Smails Sanchez Good night and a good tomorrow

If you want to hear a bigger pompous preening jackass than Keith Olbermann go here. The new definition of a complete douche bag now is - Rick Sanchez. Whoa tough guy Rick talking about experiencing Fidel Castro from the safety of his CNN studio. Wow what a tough guy. The new American Alpha male in the styling of Bill Mahr, Jon Stewart and Keith Olbermann.

Sanchez is like two Ted Knight characters in one. First a perfect fit for Ted Baxter the pompous dope news anchor who would read his stage directions like – “take off glasses look concerned” – into the news story, from the Mary Tyler Moore show. The problem with all these news readers is that they seem to think that they are at least as important as the story they reading. They aren’t. Nearly anyone who can read a teleprompter can do what Rick Baxter Sanchez does.

They read the news. Yet Sanchez somehow thinks that his sissy @ss job entitles him to be thrown in with the Ernie Pyle’s of the world who actually go out into the war zone exposing themselves to danger and in many cases losing their lives. Hey Rick, get a clue. If you looked like Sam aka Joe the plumber, you wouldn’t be reading the news on CNN. Given your boorish manner, you’d be working a cash register at a local dollar store.

But there’s an even better Ted Knight character that Sanchez reminds me of Judge Smails from Caddy Shack. Smails like Baxter and Sanchez is a pompous loser that few people can stand to be around. Given CNN’s ratings maybe they should call the show the Baxter, Samils, Sanchez show. Then Sanchez could do a Frank Caliendo thing where he reads the news – his job description – in the styling of Baxter – "take off glasses look concerned," or Samils – "shut up Joe, you’ll get nothing" or himself, "this is Rick Pancho Sanchez someone totally qualified to read the news into a camera. And that’s why I’m better than you."

In the words of the late great Rodney Dangerfield aka Al Cervick: Hey Rick, CNN has become a third rate network. What, when you watch CNN, I bet you get a free bowl of soup. Huh but hey Rick, it looks good on you.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

What's that smell?

Is it just me – being a right wing nut – or is anyone else getting a whiff of scandal in the Obama administration even before it is an administration?

There’s the whole Rahm Emanuel connection with Blago trying to sell the senate seat Obama bought. So Obama does an internal review and – now this is really shocking – Obama found that nobody in the Obama camp did anything untoward. Phew! That’s a relief.

And who could argue with the thoroughness of an internal review? If I ever get pulled over by a police officer some night for driving erratically, I’m going to say, “Thaaas OK orificer. I’ll do miiiii own internal sobrer-ity tesht. Nope, er should I shay yup, everythigsh jist fine.” Then seeing a street lamp and thinking it’s the sun, “Injoy yer morming offisher.” That scenario is likely to go over as well as a pork roast at a bar mitzvah. Yet some how, it works for the MSM and P-E Obama.

Then there’s Sec State designate Shrillda Beast. Apparently on no fewer than 6 separate occasions her NY constituents’ interests aligned perfectly with the interests of overseas donors to the Clinton Foundation. That’s all purely coincidental, like hitting all 20 numbers in a Keno game…six times in a row. Besides, what’s good for the Clinton Foundation has to be good for NY and America – right? Like Clinton OKing Loral Corp. to sell the ChiComs guided missile technology after Loral “donated” to the Clinton campaign. That’s working out well for us so far.

Yesterday we found out that Obama’s Tres. Sec. nominee, some cat named Tim(othy) Geithner failed to pay nearly $35,000 in federal taxes from 2001 to 2004 and has “a history of mistakes and late-filing.” Most of us cheered when we heard someone screwed the IRS and got away with it until we found out that as Tres. Sec. Geithner would oversee the IRS. Hmmm. Not so funny now.

Geithner’s excuse was that it was an oversight. You know like we all do every year, “Honey did we pay our income taxes this year? I can’t remember.” If there’s one week of my life I remember every single stinking year, it’s the week the study is off limits to everyone because there are fifty separate piles of paper neatly – or not so neatly – placed on every available surface including the floor.

I’m sure when someone gets to hell the devil hands him a Michigan University pennant with one hand and a tax form with the accompanying three inch stack of paperwork he’ll need to get started with the other. Of course there will be several forms and pieces of paper needed to finish the filing that he won’t have and will never be able to obtain.

So no, I’m not buying the Steve Martin, “I forgot so, eeeexcuuuuse mmeeeeee” line of BS. You don't forget filing your taxes any more than you forget being stuck in the eye with a sharp pencil. Then there’s the fall back position of well these things are complicated. He was filing as a self-employed worker and this really is complicated stuff. Sorry, we’ve been arguing for flatter fairer simpler taxes since Reagan, but Dems who use the tax code to pass out favors to their buds always block any such moves.

Hey Geithner, hire a tax accountant! Or do like the rest of us shlubs, give up a week of your life and file your own damn taxes.

It’s simple. Geithner is a tax cheat. He’d still be a tax cheat if he wasn’t offered the position as Tres. Sec. which ironically makes him responsible for catching tax cheats. So I guess on the one hand you have to say, “Well, at least he’s qualified.”

NOTE: No, hell no, I don't watch The View. I found the link posted below on the Hot Air web site and lost 8 min of my life I'll never get back watching it. That was the ONLY basis for that post.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Coulter,bailout and Bauer

Ann quadruples IQ of View crew

Ann Coulter was on The View yesterday. If you want a legitimate case to sue ABC for torture, watch all eight-and-a-half minutes here. It’s sad – really, really sad. There are five vacuous dolts spewing predictable pap and then there’s Ann. Simply by showing up she quadrupled the total IQ represented on stage. Had the obnoxious food blister known as Rosie O’Donnell still been on the show, the total IQ represented on stage would have increased ten fold.

I have only two questions for the sophisticates that appear daily on this thing. If you all are so smart, why does it take of five of you to take on Ann? And if you were even ¼ as smart as you think you are, why wouldn’t you let her answer your inane questions without shouting her down?

Why bailouts are bad

If bailout and stimuli are so good, why aren’t they part of the annual budget? Shouldn’t congress have a line in the budget that goes something like: Unemployment is projected at (blank)% this year and it looks as if the buggy whip, drive-in movie and three prong pitchfork industries are STILL faltering; that means we’ll need 300 billion in bailout and stimulus this fiscal year.

They don’t do that because it’s bad policy. Businesses are supposed to fail. Printing money to prop them up is inflationary. That is particularly true when that money is worthless – as in nothing backing it up – no gold, no silver, no production of worthwhile goods and soon not even the Chinese buying the debt. That makes the dollar…oh what's the word?...oh yeah worthless. When that happens we all will have to own an SUV and double axel trailer just haul the money necessary to pick up bread and milk at the Kroger.

Not to worry. 20 Jan is just around the corner. The MSM will be reporting that consumer confidence rose 730% after inauguration.

Jack’s back

Jack Bauer that is. The new season of 24 is starting out great. Jack’s being grilled by some pompous (g)assbags on capitol Hill before being spirited away to save the world once again. No doubt the show will end with Jack appearing before the same (g)assbags explaining why he forced some poor terrorist watch back-to-back episodes of The View without his lawyer present.

This scenario is perfect as P-E Obama contemplates closing G’itmo. I’ll bet he doesn’t for a while.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Uh oh, it's going to take more than just hope-n-change

Bloomberg is reporting that P-E Obama indicated that reviving the U.S. economy will require scaling back on his campaign promises as well as some personal sacrifice from all Americans. Personal sacrifice? Like what? It better not be me giving up my $1,000 bribe …uh…er…stimulus check. Millions of people had their votes bought…uh…were persuaded by Mr. Obama’s $1,000 stimulus check. P-E Obama better pay up.

Oh but that was then and this now. Like the post a couple under, P-E Obama and the Dems seem to be backtracking on everything. During the campaign it was all hope-n-change. Now it’s all deficits and sacrifice. Apparently on “This Week” yesterday P-E Obama said, “I want to be realistic here, not everything that we talked about during the campaign are we going to be able to do on the pace we had hoped.” And that’s usually what happens when you use “hope” as a method - you get nothing but disappointment. I hope I win the lottery. But my hope is so great that I won’t even buy a ticket. I’m hoping the government will buy the ticket for me. And it better be a winner.

Then we got this bit of to each according to his needs from each according to his abilities bit hope from Obama, “Everybody’s going to have to give.”

Damn! What’s next? I suppose the Israelis and Hamas are still going to hate each other after 20 Jan. No here’s what’s next. The Washington Times is reporting P-E Obama’s climate czar is a…drum roll please…socialist!

The Times says:

Until last week, Carol M. Browner, President-elect Barack Obama's pick as global warming czar, was listed as one of 14 leaders of a socialist group's Commission for a Sustainable World Society, which calls for "global governance" and says rich countries must shrink their economies to address climate change.

By Thursday, Mrs. Browner's name and biography had been removed from Socialist International's Web page, though a photo of her speaking June 30 to the group's congress in Greece was still available.

Who knew that the socialist candidate was going to surround himself with socialist appointments? Sadly, not enough people knew to carry the day in Nov. Only about 46% of the voters knew. About 52% are hoping for their $1,000 government check.

Well you know the old saying, if you can’t achieve world peace just by showing up and hoping, you might as well raise some carbon taxes, spread the wealth around calling it a stimulus and ask everyone to make sacrifices.

Now that’s hope-n-change I can believe in.

Friday, January 09, 2009

I hope Obama is a colossal failure

Is anyone else getting sick of hearing conservatives saying, “Well, I hope our new president succeeds?” I have no interest in dumping on P-E Obama the way the loony left dumped on President Bush from day one of his administration but as far as wishing him success, hell no. I hope he is a complete and utter failure.

In any effort to expand the culture of death through abortion, infanticide and “mercy” killing, I hope Obama is stopped cold in his tracks.

In any effort to turn the Second Amendment into some sort of hunter’s rights amendment I hope “the people” rise up and say not so fast. The Second Amendment has as much to with hunting as the first has to do with separation of church and state – nothing.

In any effort to march this country further down the road of socialism through “universal healthcare”, universal mortgage payment, universal college tuition, or universal anything, I hope he fails so badly that the Dems lose control of both houses and half his cabinet resigns.

If he thinks squandering a hard won victory in Iraq to make loony leftist happy is good policy, I hope he fails miserably.

If he thinks the government printing a trillion dollars and using that money to pick winners and losers is a good plan, I hope the plan gets bogged down in committee for years.

If, as he said yesterday, he thinks the government is only entity that can save America in this “financial crisis,” I hope he fails so badly he goes down in history as worse than Jimmy Carter in domestic policy. I’d point to congress, AMTRAC, Freddie and Fanny, the US Post Office, the Border Patrol, the IRS, the State Dep, Dep of Education, Social Security, and a hundred other failed government policies, departments and institutions and ask why – outside the military – he thinks government involvement in anything will helped.

If he thinks gays serving in the military is a great idea and worth upsetting the delicate balance of military readiness and esprit, I hope top military men resign in droves.

If he thinks the “fairness doctrine” makes sense, I hope the White House gets flooded with so many letters and e-mails that hiring a staff to handle them all will constitute the biggest government hiring program since Army enlistments at the start of WWII.

So, on these and other issues too many to note, I wish him NO success whatever. I hope he fails miserably and is run out of D.C. in 2012 in landslide of common sense and appreciation of the constitution and free markets.

Yes, I hope he fails colossally. So colossally in fact that he and his kind are run out of government for the next 1,000 years. But of course I hope he governs with the sense of Reagan, which would make this post, like so many others, irrelevant.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

About, FACE!

In several posts below, Lex notes how a lib’s natural state is to be PO’d about something. Well many Libs are beginning to have buyer’s remorse with P-E Obama. And why not? Obama and the Dems have done more about faces since the election than a platoon of new Marine recruits learning to march at Paris Island.

First the obvious. Senator hope-n-change promised…well hope-n-change during the campaign. So now he’s been elected and what do we get? We get Clinton retreads – including the beast herself – and Bush holdovers in all of the key cabinet and administration positions. That’s change we can believe in? I don’t think so. That’s slapping a fresh coat of paint on the old jalopy on cinder blocks in the front yard and then putting yourself in for the neighborhood beautification award.

No wonder Libs are in a constant state of POedness.

Then there’s G’itmo. Close it! Immediately! That was the campaign cry. Now it’s, well not so fast. We really don’t want to being the trash in that dump site into the US general prison population. And we sure don’t want every creepy trial lawyer (a set of the whole by the way) in the country trying to make a name for himself getting the creeps (G’itmo detainees not the trial lawyers) off scott free. We need to find some third party willing to take the human debris being stored there. Hmm, isn’t that rendition?

How about END THE WAR NOW!!!! Well like, “let’s get the Christmas decorations up today,” it’s easier to say than do. First this issue is like countermarching the platoon by squads. First squad to the rear march: Harry Reid, the war is lost – ooops. Second squad to the rear march: General Betrayus – oops. Third squad to the rear march: then Senator Obama’s assessment that 20, 30 or even 50 thousand new troops won’t make a difference in Iraq - double ooops.

So we’ve got the platoon marching to the rear in staggered formation during the campaign. Now, it’s first squad to the rear march: P-E Obama says the surge worked better than anyone (meaning himself) thought. Second squad to the rear march: Scrawny Harry says Gen Petraeus will go down in the history books as an American hero. Third Squad to the rear march: P-E Obama says that troop reduction will be in accordance with the situation on the ground and the best military advice – hmmm wasn’t that was McCain’s campaign position. Well now you have the platoon marching in the same direction as it was when the exercise started and in the exact same location. Weird huh.

Two days ago, Harry the war is lost Reid and his chief @ss kisser, R.C. Turdbin were saying Roland Burris would not be seated in the US Senate. Yesterday under pressure from this website and its three regular readers, the two carnival clowns reversed position and tried to make it sound as if they’d never said what they said.

Of course the MSM is providing cover for all of the Dem countermarching with an explanation that things were much more fouled up than P-E Obama and his crack staff of crack ups ever knew. So no wonder Libs are crying like a Buckeye fan after the Fiesta Bowl. But they don’t blame Dems for the Dem’s own countermarching. Like a heroin addict, they need their fix, and they reflexively blame Bush. Hey old dope habits are hard to break. I can just see a 98 year old Lib on his death bed after being run over by a drunk driver operating a snow plow, “Damned Bush! If we only had universal health care I could have lived a full life.”

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

All you need to know today is...

Warning: My two pointer fingers are flying across the keyboard this morning. You’re going to have to read fast to keep up.

Israeli Vs. Hamas

What is all of this MSM BS talk of proportionality? OK Catholic “just war doctrine” does go into proportionality in the sense that weaponry should be proportional (OK no nukes) and friendly combatants must be held at some risk. In other words I can’t use War of the Worlds weapons guided from the comfort of my living room to destroy my caveman adversary. That isn’t happening in Israel.

What the MSM’s real complaint is that Hamas is run and supported by a bunch of incompetent boobs. Hamas launches 100 missiles into Israel and manages to kill 3 people – a baby, its mother and a little girl skipping rope in the front yard. Israel drops one bomb and kills 35 Hamas scumbags. Then, it’s as if to make it fair, the MSM seems to want more Israelis to be killed. Israel does the world a favor by forcing over 500 Hamas terrorists to assume room temperature while losing less than 10 of its own and to be proportional, the world wants more Israelis killed.

Think of it as your first chess game with an adult. No one was standing in the corner saying, “Hey Mr. your disproportional and systematic destruction of that kid’s chess pieces isn’t fair. You need to put your queen at risk to even things up here.” The Israeli Hamas conflict is essentially the same – it’s played on the same ground using the same force. The Israelis are just much much better at it.

Hey here’s a news flash for the MSM, war ain’t T-ball. Not every kid gets a trophy. The games don’t all end in a tie. Besides why should anyone worry about this? On 20 Jan, after the Obama inauguration, the two sides will be so filled with hope-n-change that they will lay down their weapons hug it out and live in perpetual peace.

Burris Vs Reid

As if we needed any more proof that Scrawny Harry the crooked land baron Reid is a worthless bag of excrement, the Scrawny one refused to seat Roland Burris to his rightful senate seat yesterday. This is another bit of evidence that a Libs natural state is to be PO’d about something. I care as much about this as I do about the NY senate seat. Short of a special election, it ain’t going to be a conservative or even a Republican. So why do we have to go down this road of looking like a third word country? The only thing missing was a brawl on the floor between Burris supporters and Scrawny’s supporters.

Franken Vs. Fair elections

Oh and speaking of third world politics, how about the MN recount? I think Lex called this one the day MN started the recount. Words to the effect that, “They will count votes for as long as it takes for Franken to get one vote ahead. Then they will stop and declare that the people have spoken.” This recount has more irregularities than a Big Lots store. We need Jimmy Carter and the UN to monitor MN elections.

Panetta Vs. the CIA

Who knows? Sure Panetta doesn’t’ know the first thing about Intell ops, but why should that matter when we’re engaged in a life and death struggle for survival with Islamo-Terror-Fascists? Sure Panetta was so obtuse that as President Clinton’s Chief of Staff he was unaware of the president’s dalliances with an intern – talk about an intelligence failure. Why should any of that matter? The CIA will be unnecessary after 20 Jan when world embraces hope-n-change and the citizens of the world all join hands to reject the world’s arbitrary borders, begin to spread the wealth around and fight global warming.

Gupta Vs. Surgery

This really is a “who gives a sh!+?” This guy doesn’t really do any surgery. It might as well be this guy, Dr. Phil, Dr. House or any one of the Dr.s from General Hospital. When the “Surgeon” General becomes responsible for actually performing surgery on the president and his cabinet, I’ll start to give a crap. The only thing that puzzles me a bit about this is wouldn’t Gupta be better as FBI Director?

OK you are completely caught up on the proper views of the world for today, go forth and spread these insights among the population that Conservatism may rise from the ashes.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Lex fired off this to the Daily Fishwrap after yesterday's Sutter letter:

I am delighted to know that nothing will change at the JG in 2009. Every left wing loon claim no matter how demonstrably false that claim is will escape the editor’s pen as long as it advances the left wing loon agenda.

Case in point is the web version of Richard Sutter’s letter. That letter, among other idiocies, claims that the Vice President Cheney revealed the identity of Valerie Plame. That statement is wrong, false, inaccurate, bogus and made up.

In case you missed it, Uncle Fester look-a-like and Colin Powell acolyte Richard Armitage revealed Valerie Plame’s identity to Robert Novak. Not only did he reveal Ms. Plame’s identity, he then cravenly remained silent while months of taxpayer money went toward an investigation that ruined good people.

I can accept that someone educated in the public school system and getting all of his news via the Daily KOs might have missed that. But editors at NEWS papers are supposed to be better informed and – dare I say it – interested in the truth.

If I owned or edited a newspaper I’d have simple rule #1: We will not print anywhere in this paper information we know to be false without identifying in an editor’s note or in the context of the story the false information.

On a different not, I find it rather comical that for all of the talk of change, for Libs, nothing ever does. Sutter’s letter demonstrates that we need to buckle up for four more years of Libs blaming and bashing President Bush for everything from the stain on their new carpet to the dent they got in their car door at the mall. If/when P-E Obama fails - it'll be all George Bush's fault.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Libs are the Dudley Dursleys of American politics

Aaaah 2009. Life is good. The Jolly Prowler must have gotten a government bailout, because even in this terrible economy he snuck into our house on Christmas Eve and left all kinds of good stuff. We had great fun and fellowship with family and friends before and after the New Year. All the halls at the Lex house were decked and have since been de-decked packed away ready to reappear in about 11 months. 2009 is shaping up to be a great year. We have plans for a marathon, skydiving, NASCAR, a wood project or two, a cruise and other travel for 2009. All in all, 2009 is looking pretty good.

Too bad Libs can’t say the same. Libs now control the White House, the house and after today will be one seat short of the magical 60 seat majority in the senate. They control the major newspapers, TV networks, courts and higher (mis)education. You’d think they’d be dancing in the streets. You’d be wrong. They remain a miserable lot.

Check out this sampling from the Ft. Wayne Daily Fishwrap.

Wow. I guess Sutter penned his screed before he knew that the Colts would be unable to a gain a single yard on two tries during the their Saturday night playoff game, or he’d have accused Cheney of destroying the Colt’s running game as well.

In the age of P-E Obama, an inspiring, young, energetic president who smokes (cigarettes) and is a mino to boot, Sutter and most Libs remind of me Dudley Dursley. Dudley is the spoiled, pampered, fat, whining, obnoxious little brat cousin of Harry Potter. One birthday Dudley gets 34 presents but whines that he got 35 the year before. When his father explains that some of the presents this year are bigger than last, Dudley continues to whine until mom breaks in says they’ll go out to get two more presents after they finish their birthday cake.

It’s great to know that no matter what, Libs are going to be miserable. If they lose they are miserable. If they clobber Republicans as they did in the last two cycles they will wake up the morning after the election as miserable as they were the night before.

Sutter’s letter also hints that for all of the talk of change, for Libs, nothing ever does. Buckle up for four more years of Libs blaming and bashing President Bush for everything from the stain on their new carpet to the dent they got in their car door at the mall. If/when P-E Obama fails - it'll be all George Bush's fault.

Friday, January 02, 2009

Hey if can't be funny at least be vulgar

OK it's the first post of 2009! Let’s tackle something really substantive. The Israeli war? Naaa. The Blago appointment? Naaa. P-E Obama’s first 100 day agenda? Naaa. What then? We have to know.

Well it turns out that CNN has finally come across a “hard news woman.” Kathy Griffin joined Anderson Cooper for the Times Square ball drop on New Year’s. Yes that Kathy Griffin. The one who mocked Jesus when accepting some low rent award from her low rent peers who ever increasingly get together to give one another awards. It’s sort of like the euchre club getting together every other month and issuing a pot to high scorer and last loner of the night. A husband and wife contribute $4 to the pots so the most you stand to win is $28. That’s enough to allow you to throw an extra $5 on the church plate, and pick up a dozen doughnuts and a cup coffee on the way home from church Sunday morning. But the winner always celebrates as if they’ve just won the lottery.

Well this Griffin chick wins some minor award, most hilarious of the 50 least funny people in America or something of that nature. So she take her 15 second acceptance speech to mock Jesus, “A lot of people get up here and thank Jesus for these awards. Well, Jesus didn’t have anything to with it. This award is my new god,” or words to that effect. Hey she’s right. Jesus probably didn’t inspire any of her stuff or it’d be funny.

So CNN snaps the unfunny Griffin up to do comedy on New Year’s Eve. Surprise! They find out she’s not funny. Not only is she not funny she makes up for the lack of laughs by being vulgar. Which passes as a comedy routine these days I guess.

Griffin tells some heckler in the crowd that she’s doesn’t come into his house and knock the…ah…er…mmmm Richard out of his mouth. So you have a twofer here. You get vulgarity plus a bit of gay bashing. But Griffin being a P-E Obama supporter the gay aspects of this are sure to go away and we’ll be left with just the vulgarity which will be explained away by with a, “only up tight conservatives didn’t think it was funny. Worse they want to silence me by taking away my first amendment rights.”

Way to take the high road CNN. This move is sure to get you back on top of the cable news ratings.