Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Get the Mossad to deal with ASSange

Here’s a Headline that I wouldn’t mind seeing: WikiLeaks promoter disappears. Now that’s not to say that he disappeared because of “lead poisoning.” I mean he truly just disappears. Sort of like Kreskin the magician, only for real and for good.

Remember, the key to any good magic trick is that nobody knows how it is done. And so it should be with Julian ASSange. Rush Limbaugh noted yesterday that back when the CIA was great ASSange would have died from a severe case of lead poisoning after the first round of leaks. But back when the CIA was truly great, nobody would ever know what really happened to ASSange. There would be a great many rumors, but nobody would know for sure.

And back when the CIA was really, really great, the CIA would get someone to the dirty work while thinking the whole time they were acting in their own interest. Now I’m not condoning or thinking the US government should put out a fatwa on ASSange. That would be so 12th century. But if the Muslims did that, it would be pretty much par for the course and nobody would even raise an eyebrow. After all kids will be kids and Muslims will be Muslims.

So how can we drive him so far under ground that dirt would become his steady meal? I think after P-BO’s extended bow and kiss @$$ tour of the Middle East there ought to be at least one Imam willing to issue a fatwa on ASSange. No? Well then how about Newsweak manufacturing a story about ASSange flushing a koran or something? That would certainly cause the religion of perpetual outrage to kick it up a notch. No? How about the CIA just issuing a stern statement as innocuous as: “Well these things rarely work out well for the leakers.” No? Of course not. Why? Well because they always do work out well for the leaker.

Maybe we could get Larry Flint offer a one million dollar reward for compromising pictures of ASSange like he did on the Republican leadership. Oh, that’s right Larry probably supports ASSange’s quest to wreck the US.

This is a mess. And, I only half believe that P-BO and his merry band of incompetent goofs are even mildly upset about it. Why? Well it seems to me if they had wanted to they could have stopped this. But then maybe, if I call them incompetent goofs in one sentence, I cannot assume that they will act competently in the next.

Now, we can take great comfort in the fact that Eric the wad Holder is finally on the case. If I were ASSange, I’d be hiring as many New same as the old Black Panthers as possible. That move alone would force the wad to stand down and probably cause the wad to issue a statement of support for ASSange’s stand on affirmative action.

Nothing is going to happen to ASSange…until he pisses off Israel. Then he will be found in a Turkish bath in Amsterdam as if he hung himself in some homo erotic sex experiment. The Mossad still has a set.

So we should post some embarrassing stuff on Israel on the WikiLeaks site. After that, if he’s smart, ASSange will disappear on his own.

As for the dirt bags like PFC Manning, the US soldier who gave ASSange the documents, he and anyone else involved should be sent to the deepest darkest hole in Leavenworth prison to live out the rest of their days.   Sadly, that will not happen either.  Manning will become some sort of media folk hero.  I can already picture the the "Free Manning" t-shirts in the crowd at every anti-American rally - like the Demo-Dope national convention.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

NK commie bastards and the Frozen Chosin

Well, well, well, it has been 60 years. 60 years since the UK recognized the commie bastards in Red China. That worked out well didn't it. In June of 1950 – 60 years ago, the commie bastards in Red China sent their surrogate North Korean army to invade the south. As everyone but recent public school graduates know, it was only a valiant effort by US troops at the Pusan perimeter that kept South Korea from going the way of Carthage.

It was the daring landing by Marines at Inchon that turned the tide on the commies. Cut off and trapped many 1,000s NK commies were killed or captured. Things were going swimmingly. The allies were marching north to eradicate commies from the Korean peninsula. The war would be over by Christmas. Over by Christmas, except for one thing, on Feb. 28, 1950 the commie bastards in Red China sent 10 divisions across the Yalu River to attack the 1st Marine Div at the Chosin Reservoir.

The red Chinese bastards had the Marine Div completely surrounded by 10 Divs supported by another 12 Divs. When made aware of the situation, Col. Chesty Puller remarked, “"We've been looking for the enemy for some time now. We've finally found him. We're surrounded. That simplifies things." When asked about being surrounded by the commie bastard Red Chinese Army, Puller quipped, “They are a damn site better than the U.S. Army. At least we know that they will be there in the morning." When asked if he would retreat, Puller said, “Retreat hell. We’re just attacking in a different direction.” Ending his remarks with, “There are not enough chinamen in the world to stop a fully armed Marine regiment from going where ever they want to go"

After being written off by the Army as lost, Chesty and the 1st MarDiv broke out from the Chosin taking with them all of their men, including the dead and wounded, all of their equipment and a good deal of the US Army 7th Div men and equipment. There is a standing joke among Marines when being ribbed by an Army guy about being dumb, “Yeah we may be dumb, but we’re still using the Army equipment we collected off the battlefield in Korea.”

So now the NK commie bastards, no doubt urged on by their Red Chinese commie bastard buds, are raising their ugly heads again. And just in time for Lex to relay a bit of the story of the “frozen Chosin” and true legend of the Corp Lewis B. (Chesty) Puller.

Unlike Afghanistan, it’s doubtful that P-BO will be able to find an impostor to pay off with millions of dollars to act as go between the NKs and the US here. ASIDE: Will P-BO count the paid off impostor among the 500,375,278,197,756,354 jobs he claims to have created or saved? And, why are we so concerned about Afghan impostors when we have an entire administration full of impostors pretending to be competent?

Oh yeah, if the battle of the Frozen Chosin was 60 years ago, beginning on Feb 28th, that means that while the 1st MarDiv was facing the down the commie hoards, John and Katie were celebrating the birth of their third child. How cool would it be to have a birthday that coincides with an epic Marine Corps battle? Short of being born on Nov. 10th , it has to be the best.

But 60 years! Wow, that’s old. How old?

If 18 is the age when you can buy your first beer (legally), 60 is the age when you’d trade every beer you ever stole off mom and dad’s back porch for one good glass of Merlot (For some odd reason that is pronounced mur-low. And wine drinkers wonder why beer drinkers call them snooty. We don’t call it bood-weezner)

If 20 is the age of looking forward to great opportunity, 60 is the age when you look back and try to remember where you put your damn glasses and car keys.

If 30 is the age of enlightenment, 60 is the age when you’ve forgotten what you were enlightened about and are relegated to calling on your 13 year old grandson to program your electronic devices.

If 40 is about the time that you begin to earn good money, 60 is the time that you’ve spent it all, or in Sis’s case lost it all down at the redneck Riviera.

If 50 is over the hill, 60 is a freight train barreling down Pike’s Peak with no breaks and a hair pin turn dead ahead. No, I didn’t rip that off from Unstoppable. It is just that great creative minds think alike. Besides, my sister is not a hugely popular black man. So any similarity between that analogy and Unstoppable is purely coincidental.

Happy Birthday Sis. Enjoy the 4 copies of the new Neal Diamond Dreams CD that you’ll be getting from the kids and hubby. The sad thing is, she’s such a fan, she’ll keep all four copies.


Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Global Warm-mongering continued

If you recall yesterday’s exciting episode, Lex exposed Meg Bostrom – a little TSA lingo there – as a fool for her idea that us fly over rubes are just too stupid and busy to understand all the complex science involved with global warming,

Lex noted that the problem with the science wasn’t its complexity but rather the manufactured nature of the science. That fact, combined with the hypocritical knuckleheads that the warm-mongers have chosen to represent and speak for their cause, make it hard for anyone with brain not question their ideas.

Well Ms. Meg has a few other gems stashed in her column. Of the need for “more science,” Ms Meg writes, “The scientist hope, not unreasonably, to bring more attention to the climate change crisis.” Holey carbon footprint Meg, you gotta be kidding. More attention? As if the global warm-mongers haven’t been throwing their BS science of every kind into our faces for the last 40 years, no wait the first 10 years was a global cooling scare, make that 30 years. These chumps have been telling us the end is near since Lex was in 6th grade. We have a know nothing debunked peace prize winner (AlGore not the debunked peace prize winning P-BO) leading the charge with his favorite mantra, “The debate is over.” Well no Al, just because you’re too stupid to debate doesn’t mean the debate is over.

Sure Meg the OLNY thing missing from the warm-mongers effort is bringing it to the attention of the idiot Americans who live 40 miles inland of the Atlantic and Pacific oceans. I’d say it’s the exact opposite. There’s been too much commotion over this crap. It’s like going to a NASCAR race. It is very loud to start with, but then you get your ear protection adjusted and then just get used to the din. After three and half hours, you don’t even notice it. It’s only when the roar is completely gone, you think, damn, that was loud. We quite frankly have become used to people who have no business doing so hectoring us on what we drive, what eat, and where we sleep. So used to it in fact that pay no attention to them. It’s like the dish washer running in the kitchen. It’s only really noticed when it stops running.

Then in an insane three four paragraphs to wrap up Meg swears that there is a long list of things that both Republican and Demo-Dopes can agree on to save the planet.

STOP! Compile a short list in you mind of what you think Ms. Meg might be talking about. Got it? OK, continue.

1. Mandating better fuel efficiency. Huh? We haven’t done that yet. CAFE standards Meg? Is really that easy? Why didn’t we just mandate 60mpg…no make it 150mpg… 30 years ago and the problem would be solved? Short of driving go-carts incased by PVC pipe and cellophane, car manufactures have done a pretty good job getting fuel efficiency up Meg and it has only cost consumers probably about $10,000 per car. And please do tell Meg what is plan for the coal burning cars (Rush Limbaugh’s term for electric cars) when their batteries have no more life? What self inflicted enviro disaster awaits?

2. Increase federal funding for clean energy research. Two things, if it is going to be a profitable adventure why would government need to get involved? Wouldn’t greedy private sector guys be all over it? I’ve said it before, if T. Boone wants to build a windmill farm and sell electricity, fine go for it T. Boone, but the government shouldn’t be subsidizing him. Two, do we really think the people who brought us the TSA are the ones who will be responsible for the next big breakthrough energy savings?

3. Spend more on mass transit. I rode mass transit. It doesn’t work because it’s too expensive, too unpredictable and too uncomfortable. No doubt Meg would make it look reasonable by taxing the b-jeezus out of private transit. We’d also be at the mercy of some government union thugs who would go on strike at Christmas time demanding time and half for anything over their normal 22 hour work week; quadruple over time on Sat, Sun, holy days of obligation, Mon nights during the NFL season, Thrus nights during the college season and bonuses for every two days without an accident, double bonus for showing up on time for week in a row. I’ll consider mass transit right after AlGore and Tom flathead Freidman start riding the bus to and from work.

4. Raising efficiency standards for homes and other buildings. Hmmm. Sound a lot like No. 1. But hey when you compiling a "long list" of things we can all agree on, why not use a sub-set of one to make the list even longer?

5. Requiring utilities to produce more energy from renewable sources. Hmmm sound vaguely like a sub-set of No.2. But ok fine, we’ll build 3 nuclear power plants a year for the next 15 years. Finally we can agree on something.

So how did your list compare?  This all the same old pap.  It is predictable as the sun (the real cause of any warming trend we are experiencing) rising up in the east.  What is missing here class? Not one damn incentive for the private sector to solve this problem. It’s government regulation, funding and mandates. Meg the government cannot balance its own books it is not going to find the solution for global warm-mongering, the BSC bowl situation, steroids in sports or end the search for a good nickel cigar.

But if we created the right business climate (pun intended), the private sector would.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Climate Chnage: Science by Homer Simpson

There was an article in the Sunday edition of the Ft. Wayne Urinal Gazette the jist of which was that the average rube (that would be you and me of course) is too worried about his job, the economy, two undeclared wars, his family, big sis’s birthday and the upcoming OSU Meatchicken game to understand or even care about the over whelming scientific evidence of global warming, uh sorry, ah climate change. So what to do? The writer, some Gal named Meg Bostrom, urges a new strategy that emphasizes “some climate changes that deniers can support” rather than the science that we’re all too stupid to get.

Well let’s spend just a minute on the “science” Meg. If the “science” is so sound, why is the global warming crowd always trying to fudge it? Meg there was this rather large scandal at East Anglican University where leaked e-mails prove that the “science” isn’t really all that scientific.

I do not think that our problem with global warming is that we’re too preoccupied with our daily lives to understand the science. I think our problem with global warming is two fold. First, we’re fine with science. It’s the “scientist” we have trouble with. After Global Warming-gate, why should we ever trust anything that those bozos come up with again? They have not been honest from the start. Climate survey stations placed on blacktop next to the air conditioner discharge units is just the tip of the mythical melting iceberg. NASSA can land a man on the moon but cannot do an 8th grade math problem that requires averaging 12 numbers. NASSA breathlessly reported “Hottest year on record!!!” It was only after a real scientist noted that NASSA had “mistakenly” used October’s temps twice, omitting the November figure, that NASSA famously sent its lead scientist, Homer Simpson, to issue a one word explaination of its science, “D' ho.”

Second, could the global warming crowd have a bigger bunch of preening know nothing hypocrites to champion its cause? No. If it had tried to do a spoof on itself, it could not have come up with a more clownish and hypocritical group of people to champion its cause.

AlGore is the walking talking definition of buffoon. He wins a peace prize for what? While spreading the news about global warming, he creates a carbon footprint for HIMSELF that is larger than some whole nations. Then the jack wagon tells us not worry about HIS carbon footprint because he has purchased “carbon off-sets.” So can I diet by having some guy in Ethiopia run a few miles for me as an “off-set?” But, if that just isn’t stupid enough, he didn’t buy the offsets by sending money to some scout troop somewhere to plant 100 trees, he bought the off-sets from…drum roll…HIMSELF. So how does that diet thing work for me now? Like it always does. As I finish my third Snickers Bar of the day, I tell Mrs. Lex, “Don’t worry honey. I have off-set this Snickers Bar with a diet and a three mile run in June of 2015.”

Then there’s Tomas my head is flat Friedman. What a joke. Tom lives in a mansion on a huge estate with a fleet of cars, not all of them Priuses. He flies 1st class back and forth to China so he can get a better feel for what a great place it is. Then he has the nerve to scold the rest of us for not doing our share to slow global warming. FU Tom. Move your fat @$$ into a two bedroom walk up on the fourth floor, ride the bus to work and establish some credibility for yourself before you lecture me. Oh and the China you admire and love so much is building another coal fired power plant every week. So @$$wipe, maybe the world is going to hell in a hand basket. But you, AlGore and the Chinese have more to do with it than everyone else in world from Maine to Hawaii, Texas to Alaska.

Gotta go, but tomorrow I’ll share some of Meg’s climate changes we deniers can support.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Rangel, J & the Wad

Former reputable congressman – no scratch that. Former congressman who hadn’t yet been caught for being the scumbag that probably 80% of congressmen are, Charlie, Charles, Chas, Chuck Rangel was censured by the House yesterday. Surprisingly, Rangel is only the 23rd house member ever to be censured. You'd have thought given the charachter of the class, the number of censures would be in the 1,000s. What, the other scumbags through history were shot?

No, not at all. They were ignored by their peers. So in the land of the blind where the one eyed man is king, in the land of sleezbags being censured by your sleezbag friends must be a really big deal.

Rangel gave up the defiant, “I am not a crook,” pose and wept while apologizing. Wept? Wept for joy is more like it. He’s a crook and all he gets for his crooked efforts is a letter from a bunch of other crooks telling him that he’s giving the house crooks a bad name. Not for being a crook, but rather for being a bad crook and getting caught. I’m sure in censure somewhere there is a line, “Geez Charlie, wise up and be more careful. If you don’t know how to hide these things, ask Barney Frank or Chris Dodd.”

The average citizen would be looking at huge fines and possible jail time for the crap that Rangel pulled. All Rangel got was censure. Try that the next time you’re in court. “Sure judge I was going 150 in a school zone. I’ll just take my censure now and be on my way. I gotta hurry. I have to be across town in 10 minutes.”

Protector of rights and freedom Sen Jay Rockhead suggested tearing into little tiny pieces the Constitution that he swore to uphold and defend. Rockhead said he’d like to see the FCC just make MSNBC and Fox News disappear so that they could get their work done.

Really J? What other constitutional rights don’t you like that that you think we ought to get rid of. Guns? Right for the tea Party to assemble to tell you that you are a pampered weak weasel?

And sure J we’ll give up the most popular cable news network - Fox for one whose demographic consists largely of family members and nursing home viewers too weak to push the button on the remote. Sure, as soon as the Indianapolis Colts agree to bench Peyton Manning if the New England Patriots will bench their third string guard; as soon as the Yankees trade Derek Jeeter for the Ft. Wayne Tincaps utility infielder.

Then we find out that J’s wife is an exec for PBS. Wow. Let’s get rid of all the competition so my working wife (It’d be too cool if her name was Wilma or Betty of Flintstone’s fame, but alas it’s Sharon.) can get a raise. After all it’s every parent’s dream for their kids to inherit more than they did.

Yes J is supreme pompous @$$. Trample the rights of the American people, no problem. TSA suspends our 4th Amendment rights when we want to get onto an airplane, why shouldn’t J Rockhead be allowed to just kick whole stations off the air?

But hey there’s hope. Rockhead is the same dope who was sure there were WMD in Iraq before it became politically popular to blame Bush because there weren’t any. J Rockhead, hypocrite, phony, liar, scumbag, free speech denier or to put in words everyone will understand Demo-Dope.

Then there’s Eric the light skinned negro wad Holder. Did your kid, who couldn’t hit a baseball when it was sitting on batting tee, ever ask you to throw him a high hard one? That’s what the Wad did with these civil trials. Clearly an affirmative action hire if ever there was one, the Wad would be out of his depth in an 8th grade mock trial of the Three Little Pigs. So what does the Wad decide to do? Surrender the one advantage he has, a secure court room where classified testimony could be reviewed and weighed for a NY court room populated with who knows who.

So some brilliant NY jury decides that the exact same Islamo-Terror-Fascist who they convicted of conspiracy to bomb our African embassy cannot be held responsible for the people killed as a result of the conspiracy.

So if your travelling 150 in a school zone and kill a crossing guard and dozen kids, does this jury just convict you for speeding?  Or will they just censure you?

Charlie Rangel should have asked for a civil trail in NY. They would have organized a parade for him and ordered the government to pay court costs and reimburse Rangel for all the trouble it caused him.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Stuff 4 2 day

Sen. Lisa Murkowski (re-elect Sen. apparently) recently noted that “if he (P-BO) does well that means the country is doing well. “ Huh? YGBSM! He was doing well and was all smiles when the Dopes slammed Dope-a-care through. Was that good for the country? P-BO will be doing well if gets cap and tax passed, DADT repealed, an open border and a 90% tax rate on anyone with a job. Will that mean the country is doing well? 

P-BO is not a king and us surfs should not have worry whether or not the king is doing well.  Murkowski sounds more and more like a Demo-Dope every day.

P-Bo’s agenda and the Dope agenda are only good for America if you’re looking for ever creeping government nannyism. Remember, P-BO said he was going to transform America. Into what? A nanny state? P-BO is well on his way to wrecking the country. Does that mean we’re “doing well” Lisa?

Then Lisa had to show her female dog side. She whined about Sarah Palin lacking the “intellectual curiosity” to be president. Coming from I got my job from daddy after I couldn’t pass the bar exam Murkowski, that has to be compliment. And it the always the meme of the Dopes for the candidate they fear most. Reagan was an amiable dunce, who led us to the longest period peacetime prosperity in our history. GWB was an idiot who managed better grades in college than either of the two intellectually curious Demo-Dopes he ran against. Now Sleeza Murkowski has to air her dirty laundry about Palin to mental giant Katie Couric. Hey Sleeza, she may not be intellectually curious but she kicked your old man’s @$$ all the way up the intercostals of AK.

Last on this old hag. She seems to think it a good idea to stand up for earmarks. You go girl. That is wining issue. The intellectually curious all across this great land think the bridge to nowhere was a great idea. We’re saddled with this walking talking sack of crap for another 6 years. Thanks AK. 

But it's ok.  We knew this would take at least two election cycles.  This last cycle was the put on the breaks cycle.  2012 is the get back on track cycle.

Demo-Dope "leadership."  Demo-Dopes, proving that they deserve the tag that they have been awarded here on the Lex page, have returnned the grand loser to her leadershpip position. After suffering the worst political @$$whippin’ in history, they brought back not just P-loser but the entire leadership team that dragged them to crushing defeat on the 2nd. Grand Fran Nan P-loser was elected by the Dope caucus as their leader. That would be like the Republicans running Nixon again in 76. But hey, as dad always said, “When someone hands you a gift, don’t try to give it back. Just say ‘thank you.’”

One more thing on the airport scanner mess. Lex advocated profiling in the post a couple under in lieu of strip searches at the airport. For using that term and disagreeing with P-BO on just about everything, I am a racist. So let’s not use the ugly word profiling. Instead let’s use the euphemism “statistical probability.”

Every business does this when selecting an advertising campaign, colors for their logo, what play to run on third and four from your own 40 yard line, how much food to buy, etc. etc. So the next time TSA pulls Akmed al B-a-dumbass out of line for smelling like a bomb, they need to explain that, “NO! This is not profiling. Profiling is a racist practice. This is statistical probability.” They did a whole tv series on this method called “Numbers” and no one from CAIR, the ACLU, NBPP, the Rainbow Coalition or NAACP protested or boycotted the show.

It’s the old - there are five white guys in one group and five black guys in another group. Which one is the hockey team and which is the basketball team. You may not know one thing other than the color of their skin, but statistically you could with about 99.99% certainty tell which is which. And you’d be a racist if you did before giving them all full body scans. Never has common sense been so uncommon.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The Griffin on Government BS

Lex is still a bit under the weather, so I’ll lift this e-mail from the Griffin for the day in hopes of a full recovery by tomorrow.

The Griffin on Government BS, which, save the military, is currently a set of the whole:

Let’s add the new x-rated airport machine nude scanning and groping requirements, to warrant-less phone tapping, to the new 25 page healthcare questionnaires, the 10 page 2010 inquiso-census, cell phone tower tracking of my cell phone number, IRS financial intrusions and continual incarceration threats, the statement “Upon Penalty of Law” on everything from my mattresses to the paint cans in my garage, the required Orange Triangle on my John Deere Gator, the local, state, and federal licensing of my dog, my cars, boat, trailer, my handguns, and my ability to drive a vehicle, to my need to pay road tolls on roads already paid for, need for a birth certificate to prove I was born, the required yearly county inspection of my aeration and septic systems, the need to pay for a wheel chair ramp if I modify the steps of our business entry, the plan approval from the county I needed when I added a market shed, the taxes I must pay by law when I die, for social security, FICA, Medicare, schools, property, to not being able to buy a happy meal in California especially if you have an American flag tapped to your bicycle on a school ground, and I could go on and on with an endless list.

So now the government requires that if you and your wife, and throw in your daughters and the mother-in-law, are about to board an airplane you must all remove your shoes and personal dignity and submit to the possibility of being groped by a stranger/s and have your clothes technically removed for a picture to be viewed by a stranger/s. The least the TSA could do is put a dollar bill in your waistline when they are done with you. If we were to vigorously find and kill the IslamoNuts trying to kill us we would not need these government gropes. Instead Incompetano and the TSA are going be tied up in court describing the difference between an accidental grope versus a squeeze versus an extended feel versus a reach-around versus an extended breast inspection and on and on. The IslamoNuts must be absolutely thrilled. Holder cannot even figure out after two years where KSM should be immediately convicted, then groped and scanned, and hanged. Groped and scanned would be considered cruel and unusual punishment for KSM but not for us Americans. Holder needs more time. And hey, in California you can now pay in state tuition if you are in this country illegally. So I live in Ohio . If I go to Canada legally and then sneak across the US border illegally (no customs check) can I attend UCLA at in-state tuition rates?

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

The P-BO administration: where incompetence is a virtue

A bit under the weather today. Suffice it say that Janet Napolitano is an incompetent idiot hence the Dennis Miller moniker for her, Janet Incompetano. But seeing as incompetence and idiocy are the chief qualifications for working in this administration, I guess she’s in good company. All of this scanning and groping idiocy can and should be avoided with a single word – profile. Egad! Lex, you racist bastard.

No not at all. If a middle aged Muslim man is getting onto an airplane koran in hand, with his wife and three children with seven suitcases for a round trip to Disney World, fine. If Mustafa pays for his one way ticket the day of flight with a bag of cash and has no luggage, maybe we want to set him aside for a special screening.

By the same standard, if Jonny Blueye is pacing the floor, sweating profusely, calling on cell his phone every few minutes between trips to bathroom, pull him out of the line and question him for several hours as well. Profile suspicious behavior, like a 140 lbs man asking for a seat belt extension. Sure you can have one right after you get your rotten @$$ off this plane and talk to the FBI for about five hours. So are you going to shut your suck or get off the plane?

Also, whatever happened to the idea that frequent travelers could get a special pass after a background check?

So enough for today. Incompetano is an idiot, but she’s barely noticeable among the throng of idiots in P-BO's sad sack administration.

Monday, November 15, 2010

This is all about sports.

Issue one is fixing violent collisions in the NFL and NCAA: There is a much better way to prevent the carnage currently on display in the NFL than having game officials assess penalties during the game and then league officials asses fines and suspensions following the game. All of that is ok as far as it goes, but it doesn’t get to the crux of the problem.

The problem is that the players are so big, so fast and so explosive that even clean hits cause serious injuries. I have often said while watching a college or NFL game, “It’s hard to believe that anyone can last more than a series of downs.”

So how can you rule against large, fast and explosive players? You can’t. But you can make a couple of simple rule changes that will cause it to happen on its own over night. First, barring injury, teams should only be allowed to substitute a maximum of three players at a time and only after an exchange of the ball. If a player is injured, he’s out for a minimum of that series of plays. If the same player causes a stoppage of play for an injury more than twice in the same game, he’s out for the rest of that game and the next game.

That simple rule change will cause the vast majority of players to play both offense and defense. Given that they will be on the field for a very long time without an extended rest, the number of 300+ lbs players will decrease dramatically and perhaps disappear. Endurance will become the first requirement for any player. You won’t have defensive backs catching their breath for 7-8 minutes, allowing them to load up on receivers and running backs. Teams will consist of better athletes at nearly every position.

It will also make nearly obsolete a field goal outside of about 40 yards, unless your kicker can play another position which is almost never the case. Most kickers need help getting their uniform on. ASIDE: No matter what else the NFL and NCAA do with regard to injuries, they ought to set up a point scale for field goals inverse to that found in basketball. The further back the kick is attempted, the fewer points it is worth. After all, the idea is to score touchdowns. So the closer a team comes to that goal the more the field goal ought to be worth 1to 20 yards = 3 points, 21 to 40 yards = 2 point, 40+ yards = 1 point. Don’t reward a team for finding some EuroTrash who can kick a 60 yard field goal.  Reward them for coming as close as possible to scoring a touchdown

Next increase the speed of the game. 20 seconds between plays after the official spots the ball ought to be plenty. It allows time for a rest but keeps the game moving. What is the most exciting part of any game? The two minute drill near the end of the half and the end of the game is what sports fans live for. Teams will do in the last two minutes out of desperation, what they should have been doing by design the entire game.

Many will complain that this remedy will actually increase the injury rate because tired players get injured more easily. This is true. If you take any of today’s NFL teams and make them play by these rules next week, the field will be littered with injured players. But it will be because they are too big and too out of shape to play under the new rules not because the new rules are bad.

The idea is to get rid of the blob players who play two plays every 4th to 5th down and are a sweaty mess after jogging on to the field.  In exchange for the specialty player teams would have leaner players with more skill and endurance who can play every down. After the adjustment period, what the game lacks in violent collisions will more than be made up for in skill, grace and sheer athleticism. Scores will go up even while field goals go way down.

Issue two, Cam Newton. I hear all the sporties say, “Well he’s innocent until proven guilty. Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt.” Let me be the first to go out on limb and say this guy does not deserve the benefit of the doubt. He was caught with stolen lap top computer and got caught cheating on papers and tests not once but twice at the University of Florida. He has used up any benefit of the doubt he had coming. He has gone from college athlete, to one of the usual suspects.

Everyone talks about Cam being innocent and how unfair these “allegations” are. Huh? Like it’s so sad that that all these disturbed women think Bill Clinton and Ben Rothlesburger are sex predators. That makes perfect sense. When 4-5 people come in and make corroborating statements against their own interest, hey it’s the people making the allegations who should get in trouble, not the cheating thief.

Anyone who votes Auburn in the top 5 or Newton for the Heisman is an idiot. Cam Newton makes Reggie Bush look like the poster child for what a student athlete ought to be. I’m sorry but, yeah at some point you do have to prove your innocence.  For me, that point comes right after getting caught with stolen computer and cheating twice.  And remember we're not assessing court fines and jail time for crying out loud.  It's not a criminal investigation for us.  It's a matter of weighing the preponderance of the information.  I knew all I had to know when the cheating and stealing were revealed.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Commission report half as bold as it needs to be

The deficit commission is being hailed for its bold suggestions on how to reel in our current ever growing Borg-like federal government and reduce the debt. Not so fast my friend.

Just as an example, to save Social Security, the commission calls for an increase in the retirement age to 68 in 2050 and 69 in 2075. FLASH!! FLASH!! FLASH!! Social Security won’t be around in 2050 and will be a distant memory of those fortunate enough to still be around in 2075. It’s like buying a 15 year old car with 210,000 miles on it and setting aside $50 for an oil change 2050 and new tires in 2075. The car will be in the junk yard in a year if it’s not overhauled soon.

Social Security can be saved by returning it to what it started out as, a supplement to people’s retirement plans. Raise the retirement age to 68 tomorrow for those between 45 – 25 years old. Raise the retirement tomorrow to age 75 for those 25 years old and younger.

Don’t buy into the Lib BS, “Well how long can guy digging ditches for a living be expected to continue that task?” After a certain age, he can’t. What he can do is prepare for funding his own retirement – bridging if you will - of the first 3 and then 10 years until his SS kicks in. Part of that bridge could be to allow SS beneficiaries to VOLUNTARILY invest part of their own SS payments into private funds.

The commission didn’t fix SS. They didn’t even kick the can down the road. They sprinkled a generous amount of fairy dust on the problem in the hope it will magically disappear.

And where in the commission report is the penalty of a slow miserable death for the pols who take the new tax revenues from the taxes proposed in the report and spend that money on the new and improved Piss Christ or a longer more sophisticated bridge to nowhere? Short of the threat of being boiled in oil over a low fire for a day or two, pols will do what pols do. That is, they lie, cheat and steal. Short of a commission with the power to snatch pols off the street and slowly execute them, the Barney Franks and RC Turdbins of the world will just do whatever they want to do with other people’s money.

I would agree that the commission report is as bold as anything coming out Washington D.C. with regard to deficit reduction, but it isn’t bold enough by half. Bold would be a flat tax of 12% across the board. Bold would be, reorganizing the pentagon into a triangle, remove duplicate staffs, fire 1/3rd of the flag officers or reduce their rank back to O-6. Any government employee making over a six figure income would immediately be reduced to a salary commensurate with the private sector. Department of Education would immediately be reduced to a staff the size of a local car dealer with its only task being monitoring the performance of failing schools. NEA and NEH would be defunded on day one and every person within those leach organizations sent packing. The UN would be told the rent for their building is being increased to whatever sum they refuse to pay and told to move elsewhere. In its place would be the New Organization of Democratic States. That’s pretty bold.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The U.S. Marine Corps 235 today and still going strong

Well let’s see, mystery missiles off the coast of CA, P-BO traveling the world looking for someone to bow down to, the Browns are on a two game win streak, yes there is quite a bit going on today, but who cares? It’s Nov 10th and that can mean only one thing, the Marine Corps Birthday! OoooRah! The Marines turn 235 today.

While Hollywood smart guys were loosing their @$$es putting out garbage like In the Valley of Elah, Redacted, The Kingdom, Rendition and couple of other bombs, they some how missed the this story heroism and redemption:

By John North, KABC LA

DANA POINT, Nov. 12, 2007 (KABC-TV) (KABC) -- From gang member to Iraq War hero, and the first Latino Marine fighting in Iraq received the nation's second-highest award for bravery, the Navy Cross.

This former Marine has written a chronicle of his experiences.

This Veterans Day weekend we introduce you to a young man who did earn the nation's second-highest award for bravery, a man who once sat in a car with a gun on his lap, waiting to kill a rival gang member.

A few years later, Marco Martinez ignored intense enemy fire to save two fellow Marines from almost certain death.

Former Marine Corps Sergeant Marco Martinez has a dramatic take on what his life was like as a "gangbanger" in New Mexico before he joined the Marines: He believes he was one step from going over the edge.

"I was basically a leech on the side of America's body, sitting there, sucking blood out, not doing anything productive. Finally, when I joined the Marine Corps, I understood what it was to be an American," said Martinez.

You do not have to spend much time with Martinez to realize that is his core belief.

Martinez is one of the Marines who led the invasion into Iraq. At one point they were hit by intense enemy fire from a building. Martinez's squad leader was wounded and another Marine hit badly.

Martinez found an enemy RPG and fired it into the house. Then he rushed the house, single-handedly taking out everyone inside with a grenade and a rifle.

"Our first casualty ended up losing about a liter of blood within about a 35-minute time frame," said Martinez. "And the second wounded Marine was paralyzed from the waist down and bleeding out pretty good, too, so if I hadn't have done what I did, both those Marines would probably be dead right now."

Martinez has written a book he calls "Hard Corps," about his experience that led to the awarding of the Navy Cross. It lives up to its title.

What you hear from Martinez is a sincere expression of the way he feels. He believes in the war in Iraq and he was ready for the ultimate sacrifice.

"I really thought I was going to die, and I was at peace with that, because I had done so many things beforehand, where I might have died over misinterpreted glances, colors, girls," said Martinez.

These days he is a community college student studying business and working as a nuclear plant security guard. Fellow students don't know about his heroism. He is uncomfortable with the adulation he's received, as the first Hispanic and first Marine in Iraq to be awarded the Navy Cross.

"I kind of felt that since we were all in it together, why am I the only one receiving this award? I kind of felt the award was for everybody," said Martinez. "I really felt that I was just doing my job. And all the accolades I was receiving were unnecessary, anyone else in my squad or my platoon would have done the same. If I hadn't done it, someone else would have done it."

Perhaps. Martinez is living in Dana Point as he works and studies toward a business degree. Despite his humility, the Navy Cross is something that's awarded to only a relatively few people. And as a Marine colonel told me, you don't "win" the nation's second-highest military honor; you earn it.

Nah, nothing in there for a movie.  They should do something on Abu Grahb.  That's what American want, right?  @$$holes.  Tell your jarhead Marine friends Happy Birthday!

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

GWB has more class than all three Dope presidents combined

If anyone still needed an example of what a classless dope we elected, George Bush’s book tour interviews ought to serve as a good reminder. I can’t waste time going over the litany of arrogance, racism and just plain stupidity here – the typical white woman, stupid cops, bitter clingers, I won, punishing enemies etc.

Suffice it say when GWB went on Oprah and said he wouldn’t criticize his successor, Bush demonstrated the class and restraint we wish Jimmy the Arab Carter and Billbo where are my pants Clinton, and the sitting Demo-Dope might display.

It seems among the living presidents Republicans are more comfortable in their own skin. GWB and his dad go quietly about their lives doing what they can when they can. They aren’t standing on top of a roof somewhere pounding in nails for a photo op or pimping themselves to build the biggest presidential library ever or foreever whining about what mess the other guy left them. 

Side note:  Hey P-BO!  You wanted the job.  Man up and do it.

Carter seems to me a frustrated old man desperately trying to be more relevant in the post presidency than he was when occupied the oval office. Fine, given the complete disaster he was as president, I can understand why he’d want to atone for Desert One, double digit inflation and interest rates, canceling the Olympics and trying to bring the cardigan sweater back as means to off-set high oil prices.

Carter’s chief means of building his own legacy is to tear down others – both Clinton and Bush. But Jimmy, it ain’t working. Keith money bags Olbermann returns to his special comment seat tonight. Maybe he can tell you to live like the Bush 41 & 43 and just shut the hell up.

Clinton was the man who could have been. But he wasn’t. He could discover the cure for cancer, global warming and achieve peace in the Middle East tomorrow, but his presidential legacy will always be one of an impeached serial sex offender.

P-BO has started legacy building while still in office. A whiner, complainer and arrogant know nothing of monumental stature, he cannot wait until he leaves office to try to talk his way into a legacy. He’s such a miserable failure a mere two year into his term he has to start to talk himself up now. Like whiners Carter and Clinton, P-BO cannot talk about himself in glowing terms since there’s not much to talk about, so like the others he’s left to bash Bush.

None of this low brow decorum matters to Dopes and the MSM, as long as the failed and foiled ex-Dope presidents are bashing Bush. Bush for his part rarely takes the bait. Rather he simply goes about his own life as if the bashers were no more worry than gnat or two. This of course causes more frustration for the Three Stooge ex-Dope presidents. Aw wise guy huh? Well take this.

Monday, November 08, 2010

How to compromise on the current tax schedule

Voting to leave the current tax schedule in place for the next two years or even permanently is a no brainer. It’s a no brainer for economic reasons and it makes good political sense as well.

Now notice it reads “leave the current tax schedule in place.” There is not one word in there about “tax cuts.” The idea is not for anyone’s taxes to be cut, but rather leave the current schedule in place. When things stay the same only Dopes refer to it as a “cut.” You may recall that the Dopes wanted to increase school lunch program by 12%. Republicans argued for a more reasonable 7% rise. Dopes took the air and said that Republicans, who wanted to increase the program by 7%, wanted to “cut the school lunch program.” If the current system is extended, nobody’s taxes are going to be cut. On the other hand, if nothing is done, everybody’s taxes are going to go up.

Economically, everyone but SEIU and teacher unions can see that sending money to Washington D.C. for the 535 dopes there to divide up and then redistribute is a fool’s game. As I asked the census worker who made the “so we’ll get our fair share of federal money” argument for filling out the entire questionnaire, “Why is the money going to Washington to be divided up in the first place? Doesn’t make better sense to keep the money in Indiana? Then if we need another traffic light, we just pay for it ourselves.”

Under the current system, states are like adult children who are still turning their paychecks over to their parents, as if they were five year olds who received a birthday check from grandma and grandpa. Then when the adult child wants something, he has to beg mom and dad for some of the money HE EARNED. That’s when he finds out mom and dad has spent his hard earned money on his no count older brother’s cocaine addiction and blew the rest on an Internet pyramid scheme that looked too good to fail.

In real terms, the older brother’s cocaine addiction may well be a bail out of loopy self destructive CA, and the pyramid scheme has to be the doomed to fail Social Security system.

Politically, the Repubs ought to give the Dopes a choice to either extend the current tax schedule indefinitely or extend it for no more and no less than two years. That would put the Dopes between a rock and an extremely hard place. They can’t extend them indefinitely. Their base would go crazier than they already are. If they extend them for two years, that would put taxes front and center for the 2012 election cycle. Let’s have that debate.

Friday, November 05, 2010

Both parties trying to read the election

Both Demo-Dopes and Repubs seem a bit flummoxed by Tuesday’s results. Demo-Dopes are calling for P-BO to adopt a double down in your face, yeah so what attitude toward the Repub shellacking. Senate Repubs are up in arms about what might have been had the Tea Party not bollixed up the works with with the likes of Sharon Angle and Christine O’Donnell.

Well the Repub answer is easiest so let’s start there. Had it not been for the energy of the Tea Party, the Repubs night would have been significantly less successful. Sure Charlie Christ might have won FL, but given what a complete flip-flopping waste of flesh he has turned out be, aren’t we about 10,000 times better off with Rubio? Sure we might have gotten Castel through in DE, but we just got rid of Arlan Specter, do we really need another?

And to all the Karl Roves out there who think “the Tea Party” put these candidates forward – you’re wrong. The electorate put these people forward. If the Tea Party candidates are flawed, why not pitch in and help instead of sniping from the gallery?

Establishment blue blood Republi-rats had better get the big picture eary on, the Tea Party is here to stay. Wise up or they may be the next Mike Castle. I hope there is a strong challenger to my own IN Senator Dick Lugar. One thing we know about the creepy class, no not child pornographers, the really creepy class – politicians, is they are pretty good at saving their own @$$es.

They should do a remake of Titanic where everyone on board is a politician.  You'd have scenes of men beating women and children for a seat on a life boat.  Drunks refusing to save themselves because there is an  open bar.  John Kerry would have taken an entire lifeboat for himself and left the ship before it hit the iceberg.  Latter he'd claim to have rescued 1,000s, by working in the engine room, communication room and on the bridge all at the same time.  He'd blame GWB for iceberg.  ALGore would claim the iceberg would have been much bigger had it not been for global warmin...uh...er climate change.

Note to ALL: The Tea Party is here to stay and has already begun looking at the 2012 cycle.

Demo-Dopes are a bit harder to read. Sure there’s the kook MessNBC fringe that thinks a cloud of racism swept across America on Tuesday. But that is their answer to anyone and everyone who might challenge P-BO and the Dopes on anything.

They seem sure that there is no way a repeal of P-BOcare will make it through the Senate. Ha! Let’s vote. After Tuesday’s supreme @$$ whoopin’ and with 23 Senate Dopes up for re-election in 2012, let’s see if it can’t get through the senate to land squarely on P-BO’s desk for veto. Then let’s see if the most onerous parts of the monstrosity cannot be deconstructed bit by bit so that the remaining shell will simply fall in on itself.

Here’s a hint to the Dopes, better to die from one swift blow than to be bitten to death by ducks. Kill the thing at the earliest opportunity with one swift blow or it will be an issue for the next two years. As more unpopular facts drip out bit by bit, the Repubs will pounce and force votes. This thing is destined to die from a 1,000 cuts or one swift cut across the jugular. Which do the Dopes think is best for them?

Killing it fast will also put the Repubs in the position of having to come up solutions of their own rather than just railing against the hugely unpopular sack of crap that the Dopes forced through in the dark of night without ever reading. I’ll bet most still haven’t read the damn thing.

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Everything is fine. Dopes need to double down on 2010's winning strategy

Well, after P-BO’s presser yesterday, it doesn’t seem as if he’s gotten the message. But yeah, we’ll see what happens when repeal of P-BOcare comes up. Going forward how can the Demo-Dopes avoid the same monumental @SS whoopin’ in 2012 that was delivered on Tuesday?

First, Demo-Dopes need to step up their verbal assaults on Americans. Demo-Dopes need to start calling more people who disagree with them racists. Well OK, they already call everyone who disagrees with them racists. They just need to be more in your/our faces with it. One thing we learned from this cycle, is that when called a racist by the nincompoops on MessNBC, Americans will immediately shut up. So keep it up.

In fact, they should gin up a few racial incidents. Get a black congressman to lie through his @$$ about being called a ni**er by a bunch of Tea Partiers. Yes, of course they did that, but they just need more of it.

Get totally credible people like Revs? Al and Jesse to make the accusations this time around. Nobody is has more credibility on faux racial incidents than these two faux Revs. Then fire up the enlightened party intellectuals, Janeane Garofolo and the like, and just shout racism at everyone.

Also, they need to minimize the Tea Party. Start by calling every one associated with that movement a racist. Yes they already do that, but they just need to pick it up a bit more. In addition, they need to come up with some sort of sex slang to describe the Tea Party. Of course they did that too, but just give us more of that hugely successful tactic.

Next, any Republican woman seeking office needs to be described as, a racist of course, but also a whore, slut and bitch. That’s how elections are won and the hearts and minds of the American people persuaded. So double down and give the American people more of that kind of stuff.

Then in addition to calling everyone who has the temerity to disagree with the Dope agenda a bigot, racist, homophobe, bitch, whore, slut and/or teabagger the Demo-Dopes need call them un-American. Of course they have done that from the start, but they just need more of it. As Tuesday’s results prove, Americans love that kind of stuff. No better way to pursued an American than to call her a bigoted, homophobic, un-American bitch. It works every time. They just need more of it.

Last, to show that you are really just one of the people, set up a 200 MILLION DOLLAR A DAY trip to India for yourself and THREE THOUSAND of your friends. Yes while Americans go wanting, you go and blow 200 MILLION DOLLAR A DAY on a business trip. Whatever you do, don't stay home and save a few bucks after an @$$ whoopin’ like Tuesday’s.

So by my estimation, there is no need for P-BO and his band of merry Dopes to change anything. Double down on their strategy until those/us rubes finally realize how great the Dopes and their MSM and Hollywood creeps are. Keep doing it. Why change who you are?

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

The brakes have been applied. Now let's see how we get this thing in reverse.

As noted several posts below, not enough good could have come from last night’s election. The biggest disappointment is that Scrawny Harry Reid will still be around to pollute the system.

After Harry the war is lost Reid, the biggest disappointment is CA. But CA is the knife that will be thrust into Demo-Dopes back just in time for the 2012 election. CA is likely to need federal money before 2012. That issue will put the Dopes on the ropes. Do they try to bail CA out with federal money? Or does the new Rep House hold strong and say, you made your bed CA, now lay in it?

How many Demo-Dope senators up for re-election in 2012 are going to want to have “I supported a bailout for the loonies in CA” on his resume? Can border state Dopes up re-election in 2012 in OH, NE, FL, MT, MO and PA afford a CA bailout? If I lived worked or were doing business in CA, I’d be looking for a way out this morning. It cannot end well.

Also consider the face of the Demo-Dopes. What a bunch of losers - Al I can steal any election Franken, Richard why yes I served with John Kerry in Cambodia Blumenthal, Chris I’m Harry’s lap dog Coons. Rumor has it that Kerry and Blumenthal are already in tit for tat over who is the greater war hero. After hear of Kerry’s exploits in Cambodia, Blumenthal claimed to have been dispatched enemy line during the Korean War by President Kennedy.

And what about the WV chameleon Joe Manchin? Manchin essentially ran as a hard right conservative. But six years is a long time, and pols are among the creepiest people alive. Manchin probably figures he only has to what is right during the last two years of term to fool the people of WV again.

Well we shouldn’t dwell on the “what could have been” side of things. To use P-BO car in the ditch analogy, that screeching noise you heard last was the brakes being slammed on P-BO’s out of control, reckless and irresponsible operation of OUR car. Or, as one pundit put it, “It’s not an election. It’s a restraining order.”

It appears as if the Tea Party is here to stay to hold shill pol’s feet to the fire. Can the Scrawny one really count on votes of Dopes who are up for re-election in 2012 on any issue? Ben Nelson (NE), Bill Nelson (FL), Jon Tester (MT), Clair McCaskill (MO), Bob Casey (PA) and Sherrod Brown (OH) will be listening more to voters than anything P-BO or the Scrawny one has to say.

When Repubs ask for a vote to repeal P-BOcare what are these fence sitting border scoundrels going to do? Cover their own butts that’s what. The Repubs should press their advantage and push issues everyday on repealing P-BOcare, securing the border security, cutting taxes and stop spending.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Angry? No. Not today.

If you want to get drunk quick tonight, tune into MessNBC and drink a shot of whiskey every time a pundit on that cable debacle notes that the electorate is “angry.” Drink a shot every time they describe their fellow Americans as angry or some other synonym of the word.

For my part, I’m well past angry. There was good cause for someone to get “angry.”

I was angry when DOJ let the NBPP off.

I was incensed when AG Eric the wad Holder called us a “nation of cowards,” as if that pampered little weasel knows anything about courage.

I was irate about the beer summit and what made that photo op necessary.

I was mad as hell about having to “pass P-BOcare to find out what was in it.”

I was infuriated with a president who would bow down to comic world figures, princes, sheiks, commies, tyrants and the like.

I was really PO’d about the “stimulus” and still want to throw up every time I see one of those clever, “this project” with no one working within 100 miles of it “was funded by stimulus funds” signs.

I’d fume a bit every time some smug Lib know nothing, including P-BO, would use a disgusting sex slang when referring to Tea Partiers.

I was a bit hot under the collar when P-BO called his political opponents the “enemy.”

I was actually quite livid watching the arrogance of this president at the Bi-partisan P-BOcare meeting.

I got annoyed when this tone deaf president and his whole family were rushing from one vacation so that they could make the departure on another one.

I would actually get infuriated with Demo-Dopes when they would blame GWB for everything and anything under sun that went wrong when they had at least a part in creating the problem – Freddie and Fanny being the prime example.

But you know what? I’m not mad, angry or upset about anything today. Today I’m determined. I will crawl on my belly over broken glass, through fire, during a hurricane to vote.

Tonight I hope to sit back and watch what I hope are the first signs that the American people have had enough of this arrogant know nothing that they elected president. The worse it is for Demo-Dopes, the more time I intend to spend watching MessNBC which will be the gage for how the Demo-Dopes will move forward after what I hope is a world class @$$ whoopin’.

There will be plenty of time to get mad again. Today is not the day for it though.

Monday, November 01, 2010

No, everyone shouldn't vote

So, there’s this myth that we ALL need to get out and vote tomorrow. That’s a bunch of BS. Here’s a short list of people who should stay home.

If you go by or are friends with anyone who goes by the name Snookie or uses the handle “the situation,” sleep late. Get up just in time to meet your posse at the newest “after hours club” on Wednesday morning. Do the republic a favor, don’t vote.

If you think that the words, “separation of church and state” appear in ANY of our founding documents, spend all day Tuesday searching those documents for that passage. Report to your polling place only after finding those words, in that order, in one of our founding documents.

If you get your “news” from John Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Keith Olbermann or other comic clowns, maybe you should stay home and read a month’s worth of WSJ OpEd pages.

If you think that the Cambridge, MA police “acted stupidly” for investigating the report of man breaking down a door to a neighbor’s home at night, hold your own day long beer summit, but don’t vote.

If you look at voting as the surest way for you to increase your annual income, spend the day looking for a job or a non-union job. Don’t vote. We really can’t afford you now.

If you think the US Constitution is “living” and “breathing” but babies aren’t, print off a copy of the constitution and spend Tuesday seeing if it will fog a mirror. After proving that it will, report to your polling place to vote.

If you think the same people that can’t tell you if it’ll rain or not in two days, can accurately predict catastrophic “climate change” in the next three decades, you should spend Tuesday collecting food and building your “climate change” shelter. You really cannot afford to waste what limited time you have left standing in line to vote.

Unless you are bed ridden or house bound, if you regularly watch any program that comes on between 9AM and 4 PM (ie Daytime tv), spend Tuesday examining when it all went wrong for you.

If you refer to your female friends a “bitches,” call the bitches up for coffee, but don’t vote.

If you cannot name one member of the Supreme Court, the president’s cabinet or your congressional representative, but can name every American Idol and runner up, you probably shouldn’t be choosing the leadership for the nation.

Others who shouldn’t be voting:

Can’t locate your own state on a map.
Can’t locate America on a map.
Can’t locate the map.

Don’t know who George Washington is.
Don’t know who Abe Lincoln is.
Has to ask what the meaning of “is” is.

Never looked for meaningful work.
Never held a meaningful job.
You shouldn’t vote, but cheer up, apparently you can be elected president.