Friday, February 27, 2009

Guess what? You're RICH!!

OK how’s this going to work? The Dear Leader claims he will halve the deficit by 2012 and pay for his new programs by taxing the rich. Oh yeah, and the rest of will get $800 to $1,000 in tax cuts. Gee that sounds swell, but I’d prefer my grand in a lump sum rather than this $13 bucks a week hocus pocus. It’s like when you lent your bud $10 in high school and he pays you back a quarter a week. About three weeks into the payment schedule nobody remembers how much was barrowed to begin with, for what or how much has been paid back.

Then there’s this bit of disturbing news. One of those think tank thingies ran the numbers and determined that even if the government took 100% of the taxable income of everyone making $200,000 or more, the Dear Leader would come up short paying down the deficit. And as I’ve said before, rich people didn’t get rich by being stupid with money. Rich people will do one of two things, figure out a way to put their money somewhere where the Dear leader can’t touch it or earn $199,999.99 putting them one penny under the being officially “rich.”

Then what? Well Mr. and Mrs. America it’ll boil down to what it always boils down to, anyone making a paycheck will be paying more taxes. It’s impossible to target the rich because there are too few of them and they’re too savvy. So you have to go after the large pool of dopes which in America is called the Middle Class. It was Dick Armey, I think, who said, “When Democrats aim higher taxes at the rich, they always end up hitting the Middle Class.”

It’s like taking your 6 year old son hunting to get his first deer. You go into the woods looking for that big 16 pointer you see every year three days before the season opens. He’s never seen again until three days after the season closes. But you know he’s out there. So you and Jr. take to the woods stalking the trophy buck. Ten minutes into the hunt, Jr.’s more interested in throwing sticks, kicking stones and climbing trees. So you end up shooting some hapless 110 pound doe from a tree stand in a fenced field on something called a “controlled hunt.” Actually, it's just one inch short of going to the butcher.

To put it terms everyone can understand, congress trying to tax the rich is like Wiley E. Coyote trying to catch the Road Runner, Ahab trying to boil down Moby Dick, Elmer Fudd or Yosemite Sam trying to out smart Bugs Bunny or sadly the Bengals winning the Super Bowl. It ain’t going to happen.

Congress and the Dear Leader will end up at the fenced field and slaughter poor Middle Class tax payers, because that's where the easy money is.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

If you take government money, then expect the government to tell you how to live

Everyone and I mean everyone is “outraged” over Northern Trust’s big LA party last week. Seems Northern Trust took $1.6 BILLION in bailout money before spending millions on a party for itself. The company flew hundreds of clients and employees to LA for the party that was complete with headliner bands like Chicago, Sheryl Crow and Earth Wind and Fire. It also included Tiffany goody bag for the guests.

I know these guys hire PR firms to make themselves look good. Northern Trust ought to fire its PR firm and hire a new one. It just looks bad, even if they recovered the cost of the party plus 15% in new business conducted at the party.

But lemme ax you this Mr. & Mrs America, when was the last time the bank told you couldn’t throw a Christmas party for neighbors if you barrowed money from them for a new car? Are banks now writing a “no vacation until the loan is paid off” clause into student loans? Do lists of approved restaurants accompany loan papers for a new house?

I’m pretty sure the last time I got a loan, the bank's main concern was my paying them back not where I went for vacation or where I had dinner. Sadly, the most important consideration for banks loaning money was swept away by a government that demanded loans be made to people who had no hope of paying the money back.

Now we’re going to bailout the very dopes who took money they knew they never could pay back. So, is the government going to be telling the people who take bailout money for their homes how they should be living and what they should be buying?

And when the Dear Leader gets his “universal” bad healthcare system, is the government then going to be telling us what to eat? How many miles we have to walk each week and taxing every pleasure – like beer, soda, chips, candy etc – out of business?

The answer is yes. There’s an old saying applied usually to military men, “When you take the King’s shilling, you do the King’s bidding.” Well the Demo-Dopes and the Dear Leader are trapping as many of us as possible into taking the “King’s shilling.” It only follows that they will then expect us to do their bidding.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Oh good, 900 Million of your money to terrorists

What’s dumber and more irresponsible that the TRILLION dollar reparations bill? Giving nearly a BILLION to Islamo-Terror-Fascists. Read it and weep America. From UPI I think:

The United States plans to offer more than $900 million to help rebuild Gaza after Israel's invasion and to strengthen the Western-backed Palestinian Authority, U.S. officials said on Monday.

The money, which needs U.S. congressional approval, will be distributed through U.N. and other bodies and not via the militant group Hamas, which rules Gaza, said one official.

"This money is for Gaza and to help strengthen the Palestinian Authority. It is not going to go to Hamas," said the official, who asked not to be named as Secretary of State Hillary Clinton planned to announce the funding at a donors' conference in Egypt next week.

Neither the United States nor Israel have direct contact with the Islamist Hamas movement which runs Gaza and remains formally committed to the destruction of the Jewish state.

The official said the pledge was a mix of money already earmarked for the Palestinians and some new funding.

"The package is still shaping up," he said, when asked for specifics over how the money would be spent and a breakdown of old and new funding.

In December, the former Bush administration said it would give $85 million to the U.N. agency that provides aid to Palestinian refugees in the West Bank, Gaza, Jordan, Lebanon and Syria.

I don’t want to go all Geert Wilders on you, but I’m not sure we should be giving a dime to ANYTHING associated with Muslims until the so called “good Muslims” start to stand up and be counted. Seems to me Wilders has more courage confronting radical Muslims than that rarest of commodities these days, a “good Muslim.” Name one. We all ought to be able to name the one guy or gal shouting the loudest for people of his/her faith to stop the madness. Name him/her. It's easier to pick 5,000 good stocks today than name a single Muslim shouting STOP! to the madmen of his faith.

The idea that the UN is going to distribute this money and keep it out of the hands of Hamas is ridiculous. Well the UN did have that success with the Iraq oil for food program. OK that program was fraught with corruption led by the UN Secretary General’s son. But there were those successes in Bosnia. Oh yeah, UN "peacekeepers" did everything but. Well how about the UN peacekeepers in Africa? More like the UN rape patrols in Africa.

There is not one shed of evidence that the entire UN has the capability to or could even be trusted to watch a parked car let alone distribute 900 million dollars. They are worse than useless. The UN is a dysfunctional, over-staffed, over-funded, corrupt, backward, anti-American organization populated with thugs, morons, dictators and tyrants.

I’m not sure which would be worse giving 900 MILLION dollars to terrorist or giving it to the UN or for that matter ACORN. Well, at least it's not as if we were broke or anything. That would really make this stupid.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Hold on to your wallet the Demo-Dopes are having a sale

We all know that hypocrisy and Demo-Dope go hand in hand. You have the limousine Libs like Johnny love child (or is it sex child) Edwards lamenting the plight of the poor while sporting a $400 haircut. You have the enviro hypocrites jetting to and fro like Al do as I say not as do Gore. You have policy hypocrites like little Timmy Turbo Tax Geithner who was TOO BIG to pay taxes but now runs the government office responsible for collecting those taxes from all of us too honest to cheat types. You have another Demo-Dope in charge of writing the tax code now claiming the code he wrote is too complicated for him to figure out how much he owes – Charlie the tax loop hole Rangel(er). You have Tedddy anyone could have drowned in the backseat of my car Kennedy lecturing GWB for lying. You have all but two of the Demo-Dope “auto bailout Czars” driving foreign cars, how could that be hypocritical?

Well it just goes on and on and on and…..But let’s jump ahead to our latest two stunning examples of Demo-Dope hypocrisy. The Griffin called BS on the first one when Eric pardon me and Marc Rich Holder called us a nation of cowards. At nearly the exact same moment the Dear Leader’s Sec State was groveling to the ChiComs for a loan. Thunder Butt told the ChiComs that we wouldn’t let those nasty little human rights violations they engage in every day get in the way of stable relations as long as the ChiComs would just keep buying our debt.

I suspect if the ChiComs buy enough of the debt, the Shrilldabeast will be telling us that the ChiCom government’s crack down on freedom, religious and democracy movements is akin to our own crack down on Islamo-Terror-Fascists or better the Dear Leader’s crack down on bitter Americans clinging to their guns and Bibles. We can’t have any of that political descent stuff, or what is now called racism, in America now either. After all we’re in a crisis. Everyone knows that when you’re in a crisis you must make as many rash decisions on as many things as possible with little or no thought and NO opposition. Hell once the crisis is over it’d take years to get a 800 BILLION dollar package through congress.

So Holder is calling us a nation of cowards because in our perpetual discussion on race in this country, apparently whitey isn’t contrite enough for the things he never did. Meanwhile the head of State is in a communist country on bended knee stabbing the Chinese freedom movement in the back with one hand while begging for a loan with other. Talk about cowardly.

And then just yesterday there was the most laugh out loud, fall down, roll on the ground, laugh until your belly hurts bit of hypocrisy. The Dear Leader convened a fiscal responsibility seminar in D.C. The head Demo-Dope wants to - get this – cut the deficit in half in four years. YGBSM! Does this skinny little idiot even know that HE just doubled it a week ago?

You could not write a serious book, play or screenplay for this. It’d have to be a farce. Steve Martin in back face with two milk jugs taped to the side of his head for ears would play the part of the Dear Leader.

“Well ahh, sure ahh, we just ahhh doubled the ahhh debt yesterday. (Prat fall, after pie in the face) Ahhh but today we’re going to ahhh cut it in half. (Anvil falls on head followed with stepping on rake with rake handle to the face)”

Yet the MSM actually covered the Dear Leader’s BS straight faced. Griffin you get this. A purse comes into Feather Your Nest. It cost $10. FYN usually sells the purse for $20. But this is an unusual one. You want to get $40 for it. But $40 seems like a lot of money. So, you price it at $80, draw a big red X through the $80, add big red letters SALE 50% OFF and mark it at $40. The purse is gone before lunch. Woman brags to husband how she beat FYN out of $40 at dinner.

It’s exactly same here. The dopes who doubled the debt are now saying they’ll cut it in half. The big difference is that they ran the debt up with your money and they will buy it down with your money. If successful, and let's face it, no way they will be successful, Demo-Dopes will brag about reducing the debt that they ran up in the first place.

Bucket of paint falls on Mr. and Mrs. America's head - curtain closes.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Do we really need Black History Month?

Sure we might be on the verge of a self imposed economic collapse because of the dopes in D.C. However, the one good thing we can say for certain is that, with the election of the Dear Leader, we have once and for all put racism behind us. That was the hope of guilt ridden liberal whites when they pulled the trigger for the Dear leader, so it must be true – right?

What’s the evidence? Well there isn’t any. In fact, what evidence there is indicates the contrary. What the…? On Nov 4th, we elected the first sort of black president. Doesn’t that put an end to the lie that we are a racist nation?

No! Again, it’s quite the contrary. In spite of the guilt ridden white Liberals, apparently racism in America is alive and well.

Exhibit one: Racist Republicans opposed the Dear Leader’s reparations bill. That’s really all that needs to be said to prove racism is alive and well in America. How could these Republicans – crackers everyone – dare oppose the Dear Leader? There is only one answer. They are racists.

Exhibit two: Even after the enlightened got the reparations bill passed, several white governors are refusing the “with several hundred strings attached” federal hand out. When governors in LA, TX, MS and SC - or in what SC Rep Jimmy the race baiter Clyburn terms the “black belt” – indicated that they might not take the federal money Jimmy started screaming, “Racism!!!” Now some of you probably laugh when I call the stimulus bill the reparations bill. What the heck is Jimmy race baiter talking about then when he says refusal to take reparations money from D.C. is racist? Well now you know. So if Jimmy the race baiter thinks it’s racist not to take the reparations money, who do you think Jimmy thinks is going to get the money? Oddly Jimmy the race baiter didn’t throw Sarah Palin in with the others. Apparently native Alaskans aren’t sufficiently black enough for Palin to be called a racist for turning down the money.

Exhibit three: Monkey cartoons are verboten. In an odd sort of Muslim thing, professional race baiters confirmed their status as being perpetually offended by being offended by a political cartoon. Not unlike Muslims who riot at the drop of a Koran real or imagined, Al let’s go burn Freddy’s Fashion Mart Sharpton is agitating against the NY Post for conflating two recent news stories into one cartoon - the recent chimpanzee shooting and passage of the reparations bill. The cartoon shows two cops standing over a slain chimp and the line “I guess we’ll have to look for someone else to write the next stimulus package.” Well Al and a bunch of others believe that the cartoon is racist and that – recent news stories be damned – the dead chimp is really the Dear Leader. Never mind the fact that two crackers – Pelosi and Reid - wrote the reparations bill. I guess stupid white people should be mad at the Post as well. But OK fine, the NY Post should apologize. Right after the Dear Leader apologizes to Sarah Palin for making a much less veiled comment about her being a “pig with lipstick.” Oh that’s right this “racist” knife only cuts one way. So the Post should tell Sharpton the only way the cartoon could be misconstrued is if he – Sharpton – thinks the Dear Leader looks like a chimp. In which case, it’s Sharpton who owes the Dear Leader an apology.

Exhibit four: Someone explain Black History Month to me. Used to be we’d have to watch a month of Shaft movies and listen to learned blacks talk about their experience – which were, coincidently uniformly bad – growing up black in America. Now we have a black a president and Attorney General. The movies are much better, but the conversation is still about how wretched life is for black Americans. Hey I’m the first to admit if I could chose the happenstance of my birth it’d be white – male - American. Sure I hit life’s trifecta. But my second, third, fourth and on down to about 1,500th choices would all end with American. So yeah you’ll run into discrimination here and there, but where else would you want to be? And haven’t we made any progress? In some respects I agree we’ve gone backward. Dr. King and other brave people marched against segregation. How would King feel now walking on campuses where black students demand a black student union, black history, black dorms, black homecoming queens, black proms? Isn’t self-imposed segregation none the less segregation?

Exhibit last: Eric the biggest coward of them all Holder said we were a nation of cowards because we refused to have a conversation about race. First, seems to me that race is about the only thing we ever discuss. We’ve even devoted an entire month of the year to race baiting. Ask Imus, Trent Lott, the NY Post or any other small town or fortune 500 company where race baiters show up if we don’t talk about race. But let me ask Brave Brave Sir Holder why in the hell would anyone with a brain get into conversation about race when that anyone knows how the conversation will end? It will end with that anyone being called a racist. So, Brave Brave Sir Holder why even go down that road? It’s the race baiters like Holder who stifle the conversation.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Thank BO that Iran got out of the nuke business back in 2003

Back in 2006 the National Intelligence Estimate said Iran had stopped working on nukes in 2003. The Demo-Dopes and their MSM lemmings rode that NIE like Roy Rodgers rode ol’ Trigger. Then like Rodgers did with trigger, the Demo-Dopes probably had the NIE stuffed – well laminated in this case – for old time’s sake.

The reason that NIE was so important was that people with brains knew it was BS and people without brains – i.e. Liberals – used it as club to prevent the most hated man in world history A.K.A George Bush from forming an alliance to rid the world of the possibility that a nut job in Iran would control nuclear weapons.

Once that fabricated NIE was leaked, not only was Bush on shaky ground with regard to confronting Iran about nukes, but so was the EU. But hey why worry? The intel has to be good – right? Just because it’s the same bumbling bureaucrats that the Demo-Dopes blasted for fouling up the Iraq intel, there’s absolutely no reason to question their competence now that they are telling us what we want to hear - that Iran was out of the nuke business.

So it’s clear that Iran was out of the nuke business in 2003. No doubt. Chisel it in granite. Print the story world-wide. Hold a parade. Shout it from the mountain tops, “There will be peace in our time.”

Ah but wait, or as Lee Corso might say, “Not so fast my friend.” What is this blaring red headline from Drudge UN: IRAN HAS ENOUGH URANIUM FOR NUKE BOMB. Those wily Persians. They must have used the cover of the NIE and the West’s irrational desire to kiss the @ss of anything Muslim to re-start their nuke program. Either that or they never stopped it begin with. Wanna bet that it was the latter?

How is the MSM going to spin this now that the Dear Leader is on the spot with the legacy that it was HE who allowed Iran to get nukes? Here’s how this will play out. The Dear Leader and the propaganda arm of the Demo-Dope party known as the MSM will say,…drum roll please…”It’s all George Bush’s fault! Bush was asleep at the wheel! This is just one more mess George Bush left our Dear Leader! There’s nothing we can do now! Bush fouled this up now we’re just going to have to live with it.

“Thank Barack Obama that the Dear Leader has been chosen to guide us through this mess that George Bush left. But hey in the long run what’s one more country with nukes? What possibly could go wrong with the most unstable players in the most unstable region of the world placing their itchy finger on a nuclear hair trigger?

“To combat this crisis that George Bush has left us, we must raise taxes, squelch free speech, round up all of the guns and make sure that our Dear Leader is empowered for life. That’s the only way out. Because this is such a huge crisis, all of this must be done in the next two days or the Earth will spin off its axis into deep space.”

You laugh? Think back to TARP I and the reparations bill how did they get those debacles through? They got them through by creating a panic. Panic creates the “do something even if it’s wrong” mentality. It could happen again.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Coward Holder deserves to get his @ss kicked

Eric Holder, the nation's first dip $h!t - uh sorry it’s black history month so make that - first black dip $h!t attorney general took the high road yesterday when me laid this steaming pile of excrement on America, “Though this nation has proudly thought of itself as an ethnic melting pot, in things racial we have always been and I believe continue to be, in too many ways, essentially a nation of cowards,"

WHAT? This pamper female organ is fit to call who a coward? This nation not only elected a half black man as president, it elected a half-wit half black man as president. That unqualified dope nominated DS Holder as his AG.

Some might take the occasion of Black History Month to note how we have grown as a nation. Others, primarily known as race hustlers, would continue to look at 2009 America as if it were 1950s America or 1860s America.

Hey DS, I’ll tell you who is a coward, YOU! I ask you again and that sail eared dope who hired you, what have you in your entire pampered race baiting lives done that required an ounce of courage. Answer NOTHING. Oh yeah well there was that one time when you were 9 that you got into that pick up game of hoops with 11 year olds – but other than that? NOTHING. Go to hell you slack jawed weasel.

Nation of cowards? Tell that to the souls of over 600,000 dead American who died in a struggle right this nation’s over arching sin of slavery. Now you stand there during Black History Month and call us a nation of cowards. You are the coward. It’s you that must rely on race baiting rhetoric instead of telling people that sure life is unfair don’t compound that fact by being stupid. Get a job. Don’t do drugs. Finish high school. Don’t have children you’re not prepared to properly raise.

Instead it’s YOU who took the coward’s road with your, “Yeah, sure we have problems but the 80% out of wed lock birth rate, unemployment, drop out rates, crime rates, and inner city drug problems blacks suffer from are all because whitey, the Asian, Hispanics, Indians, Pakistanis and Jews have been holding us down. This is a nation of cowards. Except for us blacks of couse"

This morning if there is just one person in America that deserves an old fashion arse whippin’ it’s Eric the real coward Holder.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

A 700 billion here, a 800 billion there, what's another 50 billion?

I was taking Jr. into school this morning when I heard on the radio that the Dear Leader will be announcing a 50 BILLION DOLLAR plan to bailout failed mortgages. When I got back home, I told Ms. Lex about the bailout and that I knew we should have gone for the 5 bedroom, 5,700 square foot job on the lake at Twin Eagle.

So there’s the 700 BILLION DOLLAR TARP, 800 BILLION DOLLAR Reparations bill and now the 50 BILLION DOLLAR – oh what Orwellian term will they come up for this gem – Certified Refinancing and Adjustment Plan or CRAP for American Homeowners. That’s 1.55 TRILLION DOLLARS without interest, accountability or a clue of common sense from anyone in D.C.

But wait there’s more. The Dear Leader wants bankruptcy judges to have the ability to set “reasonable” mortgage terms. Now what the hell does that mean? Lemme see. If you bought a house and the payment is $100 more than you can afford, the judge can adjust the interest rate and payment schedule to make up for the $100 shortfall. If you bought the big Twin Eagle job for $1.5 million and the house is now worth $700,000, the judge can reduce the amount of the loan.

Huh? You borrow $1.5 million to buy a house and the judge, with the stroke of a pen, can say, “The loan is now for $700,000.” How the hell does that work? What happened to the other (help me out here Mrs. Ralph), uh, oh yeah, $800,000? “Oh, you poor pathetic man. That is what we in the industry call a ‘write down.’”

Oh really, how does that theory work when you eat out? The check comes and you owe $50. You leave two $20s with a note, “Just write the rest down.” Well if doesn’t work anywhere else, why do expect it’ll work here. And why does the deadbeat “write downee” get to stay in the $1.5 million dollar home? Shouldn’t the house be put on the block at the current market value so that the taxpayers - or as we like to them the “write downers” - get a shot at the property? Who knows, maybe the new owner will rent the house back to the deadbeat who didn’t make payments and – is it possible? – make some money.

Were that scenario to play out in real life, I’m sure the Dear Leader would impose rent controls and have rent control judges renegotiate the terms of the lease so that the owner would go broke.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Lex's pitch for Queen for a Day

In the post two below, we learned about how, now famous moochers, Unemployed Dude, Henrietta Hughes and JulioOsegueda worked the Dear leader for a hand out. When given the opportunity to ask the leader of the free world a question, they used the occasion to beg the Dear Leader for more public assistance.

Then Lex looked at that Town Hall Meeting as an example of the Dear Leader’s Stimulus plan. “The One” travels around the nation on his Queen for Day tour handing out public goodies based on how pathetic you can sound in a minute and a half.

I’m thinking about hitting the road, following the Dear Leader around in hopes of getting a better life for my family. Here’s my pitch:

DL: Ahh, lemme see. You there. That’s right, the one in the rainbow wig and t-shirt that says, “I’m one with ‘THE ONE.’”

LL: OH DEAR GOD! Oh Lord Jesus, I truly am blessed. The One has lowered himself to recognize insignificant little ol’ me. Oh, Barack the most merciful the most benevolent, you have looked upon and recognized me and that should be enough, but while I have the opportunity, let me tell you my story.

All my life I’ve been a chump. I was raised by two chumps and all of my siblings are chumps. My mother and father and all of my siblings have worked all their lives, actually paid their taxes and raised their families 98% without government assistance. What idiots!

I my self foolishly worked my way through college without a government loan moving boxes at UPS. Yes it was a union job but the union boss didn’t like me because I foolishly and stubbornly worked harder and faster than the other union guys. And, worst of all, I actually respected the company and my bosses.

Then things got really bad. I joined the Marine Corps. I stayed for 20 years! Going and doing what I was ordered to do. Now after 20 years of service, I am retired living on 1/2 pay. Why does the government only pay me half of the base pay that I made while I was on active duty? That just doesn’t seem fair. I got used to making twice of what they give me now.

Also, over the years I bought three different houses. Foolishly, they were houses I could afford at the time. Now I’m stuck with a mortgage I can afford and is up to date. Can I get a do-over so that I can buy something totally out my price range? Would that make me eligible for a bailout?

Last, I bought two large cars during the gas crunch – cheap. Now gas has gone down and my cars are paid off. Can I get a do-over on that as well so I can get something that I cannot afford?

DL: Lemme get this straight. Your house payment is up to date. Your cars are paid off. You didn’t take government money to pay for school. You’re a damned imposture and a honky to boot. YOU'RE RICH! Get the hell out of here cracker before I call security.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Happy Birthday President Washington!

Today by act of congress, we celebrate George Washington’s Birthday. Most public school students – and sadly public school teachers - have come to think of today as President’s Day. It is sort of like the Christmas Holiday being morphed into the Holiday Holiday. As in - "We are have our office 'holiday' party this Friday." To which my reply is always the same, “What holiday is it?” The Christmas Holiday is going the way of Washington’s Birthday.

We used to celebrate Washington’s Birthday on Feb 22, which oddly enough was the date on which he was born. How dumb is that? Celebrating birthdays on the actual date of birth? That arrangement does absolutely nothing for the White Sale down at the local department store.

Since some dopey idea called the Uniform Monday Holiday Act of 1971, we’ve celebrated Washington’s Birthday on the third Monday of February. Somehow Jesus’ birthday, Veteran’s Day and the 4th of July were exempt from the Uniform Monday Holiday stupidity. I guess celebrating the 4th of July on the 6th because that happened to be first Monday of July made little sense even to the dopes in Washington – or is it President’s - D.C.

Washington’s Birthday was also the only holiday honoring an American Citizen until MLK day. So now, the Father of the Country is all but out and King is the only federal holiday celebrated in honor an American citizen. It’s not meant to, but I’m sure some would take this next comment as racist, comparing Washington to any other American is absurd.

Happy Birthday President Washington! We would not be here were it not for you. You remain the indispensable American, and for that you deserve your own day.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Stimulus = How well can you beg?

No it won’t do any good, but I e-mailed the Three Stooges the following:

If you haven’t even read the Stimulus Bill you must vote NO on it at least until you have. Is that really too much to ask?

Here are Curly, Larry and Moe’s e-mail addresses.

But that’s only one thing that’s irritating me this morning. On Tuesday this week the Dear leader pinned his Dumbo sized ears back so they’d fit through the door of Air Force One and headed down to Ft. Meyers, Fl for a town hall meeting.

There he met the now famous moochers Henrietta Hughes and Julio Osegueda. Before them though came some unemployed guy who thought it’d be a good idea if the government guaranteed an unemployment wage that represented 100% of his working wage. Brilliant! Gee, I wonder why anyone would look for a job under those conditions. “Hmm, da gubment payin’ me da same money fo sittin’ here watchin’ Oprah as da boss pay me fo bustin’ my hump on the job. Sos I’m s’posed to be lookin’ fo a job - why?”

Then Henrietta got her big shot to beg at the feet of the Great Wizard Oz for a house with a kitchen and a small bath (or was it baf) room. Last came Julio who made up for his inability to speak clearly and articulately by being loud and excited. He’s studying Communications at a local collage. Apparently he hasn’t had the class on how to ask an articulate question without sounding like a buffoon class yet. That must come in the 400 level classes.

As near as I can tell Julio wants the Dear Leader to make sure he gets more benefits at his job with McDonald’s because he’s been there for 4 years. Well why not? If the Dear Leader can tell auto and bank execs how to run their companies why not McDonald’s?

This is creepy on so many levels. These people are not just asking “the government" to bail them out, they are asking that the President of the United States bail them out. And he took the bait. Henrietta got a house offer. Julio got a new job offer. The poor unemployed guy has to have gotten something by now. If it requires work though he might turn it down in the hopes that the Dear leader will accede to wish for 100% unemployment compensation.

Sometime back political hack and demagogue Dick Gephardt, in an effort to create class warfare and envy, whined about the "winners in life's lottery." Talk about the “winners of life’s lottery,” unemployed dude, Henrietta and Julio have struck the jackpot. They show up a town hall meeting to ask the president a question and instead end up begging that he use the powers of his office – not to better the lives of all Americans – to enhance their own individual lives. Stunning!

So this is how the stimulus is going to work. The Dear leader is going to embark on a series of cross country Queen for a Day tours. Hapless moochers will stand in line all day in the hope of getting into the meeting. If lucky enough to get in the hall, you’ll need some sort of The Price is Right gimmick, a t-shirt (preferably one that says “I (heart) the Dear Leader”), a sign or a funny hat, to catch the Dear leader’s attention so you can be called upon to determine if your ability to beg meets the high standards set by Henrietta and Julio. It'll be sort of like American Idol for people with no talent, no ambitions, no sense and dare I say it, no hope. Pathetic.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

TARP I prelude to the reparations bill

I was on the treadmill at the Y trying to reduce the last 30 lbs of Christmas fat when the House TARP hearing came on the TV. So I watched and read the closed caption. I was so infuriated by what I saw that when I got home I fired this gem off to Specter, Snow and Collins:

Right now the House of Representatives is holding hearings with banking officials on the mismanagement of the first installment of the TARP funds. Any mismanagement of TARP funds wasn’t the fault of the banking officials. So what, some of the TARP funds appear to have been spent foolishly, as Chuckles Schumer might say, “The American people don’t care.”

Any mismanagement of TARP funds rests squarely on the shoulders of the US Congress. It was you and your too lazy to read and understand what was in the bill colleagues who passed TARP in a hysterical rush and sans the barest regulation on how those funds should be monitored and/or used. You are responsible for the debacle. Now that the idiocy you and your entrenched gasbag friends passed has gone south, the preening class in Washington is feigning outrage and looking for a scapegoat.

Having learned nothing from your bitter TARP experience, you and two of your RINO buddies are set to sell America down the rivers and spawn the seeds of revolution by passing an even more expensive less understood piece of legislation - all in the name of “doing something.”

You appear to be like a hapless dope who sets his own house on fire by storing oily rags in a corner of the basement and then flicks cigarettes into the heap. Sure as anyone with a brain knows, the heap eventually ignites. Then in the haste “to do something,” the dope who caused the fire in the first place dashes to the garage and grabs the first container containing a liquid that he sees. Unfortunately for the dope, the liquid is in a red container and contains gasoline. The dope, insistent on “doing something,” compounds his idiocy by dousing the fire he started in his own home with gasoline.

You don’t need “to do something” if that “something” is done in thoughtless haste and appears to be dumber than the actions that caused crisis the “something” is supposed to fix.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

How can you tell if the Dear Leader saved your job? Do you have one? He saved it!

I put my usual donation in the plate at church Sunday thereby saving or creating 4 million jobs. Holy cow Lex how much did you throw in? Doesn’t matter. By contributing I’m able to take credit for anything good that might happen. And, well, if nothing good happens it’s all George Bush’s fault.

This financial model is called “the Dear Leader reparations plan” that is set to “save” or create 4 million jobs. BS! First, is there any metric out there that measures “saved” jobs? This would be a whole new category of jobs that has never been reported before. I don’t ever recall any news report saying, “While unemployment increased by .5% this month, it's not as bad as it looks. 10,000 jobs were 'saved' by government’s heavy hand in commerce.” This whole thing, like the opening paragraph, is BS! It is a failsafe to guarantee success for the Dear Leader’s plan.

Think of it as an underdog sports team beating the spread but losing the game. So when unemployment rises (i.e. the Dear Leader loses), the Dear Leader can say, “Well, sure given George Bush’s crappy economy, what do expect? But think how bad it would have been if I had not dumped trillions of your dollars into Democrat causes. While we lost 1000,000 jobs this quarter, Nanny Pelousy told me that I saved in the neighborhood of 500 million jobs just yesterday alone. So we really won. Now, you should all get down on your knees and pay me proper homage.”

The reparations bill will pass in some form. I believe it will be a colossal failure that will lead to major league fraud, waste and abuse in the short run and nearly worthless dollars in the long run. There is not one shred of evidence that government can properly administer that much money being spent over such a short period of time. To the contrary, there is a mountain of evidence that they will screw it up in the first couple of hours.

But no matter what happens, Jug Ears and his MSM lemmings will claim that it is a huge success. How the hell? Well it’s simple. The Dear Leader has claimed the reparations bill will “save” or create 4 million jobs. So no matter what happens, as long as 4 million people have jobs, the Dear Leader can claim victory simply by claiming he saved the last 4 million jobs.

Why hasn’t anyone bothered to ask the Dear Leader or his buffoon press secretary what metrics they will be using to establish how many jobs were saved?

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Remember, what comes out of the "stimulus bill" becomes the new baseline for spending

I doubt it’ll do any good but e-mail the three RINO nitwits below and tell them to vote NO! on the reparations bill today:

If I thought, as the oh so slow Joe Biden apparently does, that there was a 70% chance of the stimulus working, I’d be for it. Hell if I thought there was a 30% or even 10% chance of it working I’d be a whole lot less P O’d than I am this morning. Sadly I give the reparations bill about a .000009% chance of working. The only reason it’s not zero is that as an optimist, I know there’s always a chance. What evidence is there that congress can get anything - let alone a trillion dollar spending package – right?

If I thought there was a 10% chance that 10% of the money would be well spent, I’d be less P O’d this morning than I am. We’re about to spend the last $350 billion of a $700 billion bank bailout and got what for that money? We got no discernible change in the economy. $70+ billion just disappeared without a trace. Ooops, these things happen.

If I thought for a second that Demorats wouldn’t use the public money in this idiocy to payoff their special interest groups and for social engineering, I’d be a whole lot less P O’d this morning than I am. Bobby Reich and famous Democrat tax cheat Chuck Rangel have already said that congress needs to make sure white men don’t get in on the deal.

If I thought that there were 10 people who voted for this monstrosity that actually read the bill I’d be a whole lot less P O’d this morning than I am. Nobody has read the entire bill. Bits and pieces of the bill have been constructed by various wings of the Democrat party and then thrown together in 778 pages of idiocy that the Dear Leader says MUST be passed immediately.

If I didn’t think that we’ll be finding out all sorts of socialist BS hidden in this idiocy for months and months to come, I’d be a whole lot less P O’d this morning than I am. Bloomberg is reporting that the idiot bill being considered contains language for something called the National Coordinator of Health Information Technology. Click the link. It’s stunning the reach of this newly minted agency. Socialized health care is in the stimulus! No wonder it has to be passed before anyone can read it.

If I thought there was one chance in 827 billion that any of the idiocy contained in this bill could be rolled back at a later date, I’d be a whole lot less P O’d this morning than I am. Like FDR’s Raw Deal, what comes out of this idiocy will be become the new baseline for entitlements for the next 100 years.

If I thought that this idiocy would be last irresponsible massive spending bill of the Dear Leader’s administration, I’d be a whole lot less P O’d this morning than I am. Idiots are going to have come up with spending for the banks to take care of the housing market which remains on its butt. Idiots are going to have come up with more money for the socialized healthcare we all supposedly want. FDR’s Ponzi Taj Mahal of cards called Social Security is about to collapse on itself. Idiots are going to have come up with the 10s of billions of dollars for the everyday idiocy that they engage in…well everyday

If I thought for one second that the jug eared Curious George look-a-like Dear Leader wasn’t a miserable lying sack of excrement last night when he claimed that there was no pork in the bill, I’d a whole lot less P O’d this morning than I am. This is a partial list of the projects contained in the bill that the Dear Leader must have over looked because…HE DIDN’T READ THE BILL EITHER. National Review Online compiled this list of 50 destimulating things in the bill:

$50 million for the National Endowment for the Arts
$380 million in the Senate bill for the Women, Infants and Children program
$300 million for grants to combat violence against women
$2 billion for federal child-care block grants
$6 billion for university building projects
$15 billion for boosting Pell Grant college scholarships
$4 billion for job-training programs, including
$1.2 billion for “youths” up to the age of 24
$1 billion for community-development block grants
$4.2 billion for “neighborhood stabilization activities”
$650 million for digital-TV coupons;
$90 million to educate “vulnerable populations”
$15 billion for business-loss carry-backs
$145 billion for “Making Work Pay” tax credits
$83 billion for the earned income credit
$150 million for the Smithsonian
$34 million to renovate the Department of Commerce headquarters
$500 million for improvement projects for National Institutes of Health facilities
$44 million for repairs to Department of Agriculture headquarters
$350 million for Agriculture Department computers
$88 million to help move the Public Health Service into a new building
$448 million for constructing a new Homeland Security Department headquarters
$600 million to convert the federal auto fleet to hybrids
$450 million for NASA (carve-out for “climate-research missions”)
$600 million for NOAA (carve-out for “climate modeling”)
$1 billion for the Census Bureau
$89 billion for Medicaid
$30 billion for COBRA insurance extension
$36 billion for expanded unemployment benefits
$20 billion for food stamps
$4.5 billion for U.S. Army Corps of Engineers
$850 million for Amtrak
$87 million for a polar icebreaking ship
$1.7 billion for the National Park System
$55 million for Historic Preservation Fund
$7.6 billion for “rural community advancement programs”
$150 million for agricultural-commodity purchases
$150 million for “producers of livestock, honeybees, and farm-raised fish”
$2 billion for renewable-energy research ($400 million for global-warming research)
$2 billion for a “clean coal” power plant in Illinois
$6.2 billion for the Weatherization Assistance Program
$3.5 billion for energy-efficiency and conservation block grants
$3.4 billion for the State Energy Program
$200 million for state and local electric-transport projects
$300 million for energy-efficient-appliance rebate programs
$400 million for hybrid cars for state and local governments
$1 billion for the manufacturing of advanced batteries
$1.5 billion for green-technology loan guarantees
$8 billion for innovative-technology loan-guarantee program
$2.4 billion for carbon-capture demonstration projects
$4.5 billion for electricity grid
$79 billion for State Fiscal Stabilization Fund

Monday, February 09, 2009

Republicans tarred with own brush

When Republicans said Democrats' massive reparations…ooops…uh stimulus bill made them look like hogs feeding at a trough of public money, Democrats hit the Sunday morning talk shows countering with a brilliant talking point, “I know you are but what am I?”

It’s hard to reason with logic as water tight as that, particularly when it’s true. Republicans were out there spending like a crack whore with a fresh welfare check on Saturday night enacting George Bush’s compassionate Conservative non-sense or as Lex named it big government conservatism, which isn’t conservative. It’s simply politicians being politicians. That’s why Lex remains suspicious of all pols.

If you or I walk into a pols office with a bag of money asking the pol to rezone something – 99 out of 100 times the pol takes the money, the zoning remains the same and life goes on. The one time in 100 you run across an honest pol (or a crooked one the FBI happens to be wiretapping), YOU get busted for trying to bribe a pol with your own money.

On the other hand, Pols from both parties go to Washington and use other people’s money to bribe or buy votes back in their own districts. “Well we gotta have a new interchange which is .0001 miles north and .0000001 miles south of two exiting interchanges on the federal highway runin’ through my district because the people of my district demand it. Well that, and my brother-in-law just bought the gas station on the corner there.”

So if you try to bribe a pol with your own money, you are a criminal. If the pol tries to bribe you with other people’s money, he just a shrewd pol.

Now for six of the last eight years it’s been the Republicans trying to buy votes – poorly I might add. For some reason Republicans always look like dopes when they try these things. I don’t know whether it’s because Republican voters instinctively dislike hypocrites or hypocrite Republican pols lack that certain saouv au fair of their Democrat counterparts to lie straight faced while arguing that it is they who are the victim of any self-inflicted spending or tax scandal.

It doesn’t’ matter. It doesn’t matter that by comparison spineless Republicans tried to get an 8 foot rowboat for their district while Democrats are now trying get the Queen Mary for theirs. Pork is pork after all, ask any Muslim if it matters if it’s a pork loin or pork rind.

Now the spineless dopes who tried to bring home a rowboat and a bag for pork rinds for their district are being tarred with the same brush that they want to use on Dems who will bring home the Queen Mary and the whole damn hog their districts.

Three lessons for Republican pols:
- One, if you are going to abandon your principles, do it for something big.
- Two, no matter how big it is, Democrats will double it because they have no principles to begin with.
- Three, don’t abandon your principles.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Too expensive? Just add money to buy more votes

So pretend you are a member of congress. NO! Don’t order that lobotomy! We’re just pretending! Jeeeeez! A bill comes across your desk. Because we're just pretending and you haven't actually been lobotomized, you actually read the bill. It’s way too expensive. Like paying $10,000 dollars to feed a family of four lunch at McDonald’s too expensive. So you tell the “leadership,” “I can’t vote for that. It’s way too expensive.”

So the leadership says, “Too expensive huh? How about we add another $200 million to the bill so we can build libraries in your district with your name on them?” Since you haven’t been lobotomized, you tell them to go to hell. That will only make it worse.

But for the brain dead idiots in Washington D.C. this is how it’s done. The Reparations…uh…stimulus bill came out of the House at $815 billion. It ran into opposition in senate, so now it’s at $900+ billion as Dems try to buy off senators one by one.

Sen. Lugnut won’t vote for our bill.

Offer him a $1 billion for his state.

Suddenly Sen. Lugnut becomes a pragmatic Chicken Little. “The sky will definitely fall if we don’t pass this bill in the next couple of days.” A couple of days pass. “The sky is definitely beginning to fall and it’ll be much worse if don’t pass this bill today.”

This idiocy is going to continue to grow until the Dems buy off enough votes

Now if Rham Emmanuel gets on the phone with Gov. Blago and Blago wants a union job for appointing Emmanuel’s cousin to the Senate, that’s criminal. But if Scrawny Harry Reid gets on the phone to Sen. Lugnut and offer’s him $1 billion of taxpayer money for crooked state projects for the Sen.'s cousin in exchange for the Sen.'s vote, that’s just good politics.

We need to send the whole lot to G’itmo and start over. On second thought G’itmo is way too good for these creeps. Put them in with the general population at Statesville Prison in Joliet.

The Dear Leader has some ‘splanin to do

Questions for the one:

OK lemme get this straight. Daschle is a liar and a tax cheat so he has to go – right? Geithner is a liar and a tax cheat so he gets to run the agency in charge of catching lying tax cheats. How can that make sense to anyone?

During the campaign you proposed a plan that would have US troops out of Iraq by March. Uh…March 2008…that is. Iraq just held another stunning round of peaceful elections. Since you’re on a role telling everyone how you screwed up that Daschle thing, wouldn’t this be an excellent time to admit you screwed up the Iraq thing as well?

You have just capped executive pay for companies that take government bailout money at $500K. Right on dude. Way to go after those greedy bastards. Now if we get universal government provided health care, can we expect you to cap health care for all of those worthless old people, fat people who don’t eat arugula, smokers, drinkers, people who don’t drive hybrids, tax cheats, people who ride motorcycles, skydive and engage in other risky behavior that would be determined by you?

Dear Leader, you have risen from former cocaine snorting pot head to the most powerful man in the world. You can raise our taxes – well at least the taxes on those of us who bother to fill out the forms and pay them – and take us to war. How do juxtapose America’s absolute lack of interest in your past drug usage with America’s fascination with a 20 something year old swimmer who has no power over any of us taking a hit off of a bong?

Your sycophantic press wastes a lot ink and newsprint telling us how handsome and fit you are. Others with brains compare your odd looks - with those ears protruding like the side mirrors of White Freightliner – to the movie star Curious George. Now if we started making monkey comparisons like, monkey see monkey do, he’s gotten the drug monkey off his back, one monkey don’t make a circus, etc. etc. would you take those comments in the same manner that you expected Sarah Palin to take your comment about putting lipstick on a pig?

In other news, a ground hog bit NY City Mayor Bloomberg during a NY City Groundhog Day rip off. He was rushed off and received immediate medical attention, rabbis shots and double dose of antibiotics and appears to be just fine. Mayor Bloomberg on the other hand received a band aid for his hand. A hazmat team was dispatched to clean up the spilled blood.

Then there’s this. Nanny Pelosi said 500 million Americans lose their jobs (jobs being a three letter word according the world’s slowest thinking man Joe Biden) every month. Hmmm. There are only 320 million Americans according to the last senses. But I guess those other 180 million people live in those 8 yet unidentified states. You know the ones, when the Dear Leader said he’d visited all 57 states then added, only one more to go.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Being first is important

What did we learn from lying tax cheat Tom Daschle stepping aside as HHS Sec in waiting? Well you might think that we learned that there’s no room for lying tax cheats in positions of great responsibility within the Dear Leader’s administration. You’d be wrong. We have confirmed a confirmed lying tax cheat as Sec of Treasury.

What we learned is that you must be the FIRST lying tax cheat to step forward. Had Daschle stepped up FIRST and said, “How was I supposed to know that my Limo and chauffeur cost money? I only made 5 million a year since leaving government. I thought everyone had limos and chauffeurs – except Limo drivers of course. They’d have to work something among themselves to get around on their days off. Besides, this tax code is an abomination that make’s it impossible for an honest guy like me to make a good faith effort to pay my taxes.” Had he said that, he’d have probably gotten over and Tim - taxes? what taxes? - Geithner would be left to pull the plug on himself admitting once and for all that while he is the only man smart enough to get us out of the current worldwide financial calamity, he’s not bright enough to figure out the American tax code or use Turbo Tax.

Then there’s the case of this Kilifer chick who was set to take some made up Orwellian job as the Fraud and Abuse Redistribution Czarina and Enforcer or FARCE for short. This poor gal had no chance. Not only was she was beaten out of the blocks admitting that she was a lying tax cheat that had no clue how the American tax system works but she was beaten out of the blocks by not one but two good ol’ boys.

Then the coup de gras, her problem involved payments to not one but two nannies to care for – get this – her teenaged children. No, there’s no chance those kids will be living in mom’s basement well into their 40s. Two nannies for two teenagers? What the...? I assume they are potty trained. But being raised as Libs, who knows.

So, this is a valuable lesson here, anytime you have a tax problem be the first to admit it, but if it involves a “nanny,” just go ahead and quit. America doesn’t mind if a lying tax cheat is running the agency responsible for catching lying tax cheats, but it will not stand for another nannygate.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Dear Leader ruins Super Bowl prep

During an interview with the Dear Leader before the Super Bowl on Sunday, Matt Lauer asked the chosen one if he would guarantee that many of the troops (conveniently provided as a prop on the split screen) would be home for the next Super Bowl. “Yes” said the chosen one. Then the Dear Leader added, “We support the troops. That’s why we’re getting them out of Iraq and sending them to Afghanistan.”

This is wrong on several levels. Most important though is that sporting events are distractions, a chance to forget about politics. Aside from throwing out the first pitch or announcing “Gentlemen start your engines” most people don’t want to hear from anyone of either party. But there he was, our Dear Leader kicked back fresh from an arugula salad and a bottle of Perrier after looking for another tax cheat to fill the position of Undersecretary of Administration Tax Cheats fielding one soft pitch after another for what seemed hours. The best part was when the sound went out.

But when one considers that the weekend's elections in Iraq were a huge success, I suspect even a Democrat could move a “substantial number” of US troops from Iraq. I’m not sure given the current path Iraq is on at this point it necessarily requires a Messiah to redeploy a brigade or two to Afghanistan. Any troops coming out of Iraq in victory this year or next are a result of George Bush’s courage and leadership NOT the happenstance of having elected an idiot who would have quit the war two years ago in defeat.

Oh and there was this gem. Now that he's in office and seeing intelligence reports, he can tell Americans that "we've got real threats and we've got to remain vigilant." Holy $h*t! We’ve got real threats? Who knew? I thought Bush was just making that crap up so he could wire tap my phone.

Monday, February 02, 2009

Finally, Slow Joe’s unpatriotic Dems assume power

If I called Senate Majority Leader Scrawny Harry Reid an unpatriotic, un-American, brain-dead, lying, weasel for saying the surge had failed and the war in Iraq was lost before the surge even started and while American fighting men were still in the field, it would be a true statement. And oh yeah, I did say pretty much the same at the time.

Now, were I anyone that the Dems cared a hoot about – say John McCain, Newt Gingrich, Mitch McConnell etc. – and made the exact same factually true statement about the incredible dirt bag known as Scrawny Harry Reid, the Dems and their MSM lemmings would go apoplectic. Why you can’t question our patriotism. This is an outrage!

Well it’s good to know that when one unpatriotic Democrat calls another unpatriotic Democrat unpatriotic it sort of serves as a resume enhancement. According to VP Slow Joe Biden, many in his own party are unpatriotic. Back during the campaign when asked about higher taxes on GMA Oh So Slow Joe said, “It’s time to be patriotic. It’s time to jump in, time to be part of the deal, time to help get America out of the rut.”

Now we find out that the Dear Leader wants to put a couple of unpatriotic Democrat tax cheats into key positions in his administration. Who knew being an unpatriotic tax cheat would lead to a cabinet position? We know about the unpatriotic liar and tax cheat Tim oops I forgot my taxes…four years in a row Geithner. Now we find out former Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle is himself a lying unpatriotic tax cheat.

The good news for Daschle is that at least in his position as head of Health and Human Services, he won’t be responsible for running the IRS. That would be just a little over the top to have an unpatriotic lying tax cheat in charge of the IRS. But wait, unpatriotic lying tax cheat Geithner is in charge of the agency that is responsible for catching unpatriotic lying tax cheats.

No problem. They’re Democrats. They have no morals, no standards of behavior that are out of bounds. So not only can’t you call them unpatriotic, you can’t call them hypocritical scum bags either. So be like an unprincipled creep Democrat like Gary Studs. Have sex with a House page. Be praised as hero. Don’t be a Republican dope like Mark Foley talking about standards. Not having sex with a House page. But exchanging e-mails about sex and getting run out of town on rail. You hypocrite!

Well at least, Chuck Rangel, the Democrat in the House of Representatives responsible for writing the tax code, is himself an unpatriotic lying tax cheat. But seriously how can you pretend to get upset about things like this? It’s as if a 20 something know nothing Olympic swimmer being ostracized for being photographed taking a hit off of a bong while our Dear Leader, a “reformed” dope smoking cocaine snorting drug addict, is hailed as our savior. I would think given their standards, Democrats would be touting Phelps as presidential material in 2016.