In the post two below, we learned about how, now famous moochers, Unemployed Dude, Henrietta Hughes and JulioOsegueda worked the Dear leader for a hand out. When given the opportunity to ask the leader of the free world a question, they used the occasion to beg the Dear Leader for more public assistance.
Then Lex looked at that Town Hall Meeting as an example of the Dear Leader’s Stimulus plan. “The One” travels around the nation on his Queen for Day tour handing out public goodies based on how pathetic you can sound in a minute and a half.
I’m thinking about hitting the road, following the Dear Leader around in hopes of getting a better life for my family. Here’s my pitch:
DL: Ahh, lemme see. You there. That’s right, the one in the rainbow wig and t-shirt that says, “I’m one with ‘THE ONE.’”
LL: OH DEAR GOD! Oh Lord Jesus, I truly am blessed. The One has lowered himself to recognize insignificant little ol’ me. Oh, Barack the most merciful the most benevolent, you have looked upon and recognized me and that should be enough, but while I have the opportunity, let me tell you my story.
All my life I’ve been a chump. I was raised by two chumps and all of my siblings are chumps. My mother and father and all of my siblings have worked all their lives, actually paid their taxes and raised their families 98% without government assistance. What idiots!
I my self foolishly worked my way through college without a government loan moving boxes at UPS. Yes it was a union job but the union boss didn’t like me because I foolishly and stubbornly worked harder and faster than the other union guys. And, worst of all, I actually respected the company and my bosses.
Then things got really bad. I joined the Marine Corps. I stayed for 20 years! Going and doing what I was ordered to do. Now after 20 years of service, I am retired living on 1/2 pay. Why does the government only pay me half of the base pay that I made while I was on active duty? That just doesn’t seem fair. I got used to making twice of what they give me now.
Also, over the years I bought three different houses. Foolishly, they were houses I could afford at the time. Now I’m stuck with a mortgage I can afford and is up to date. Can I get a do-over so that I can buy something totally out my price range? Would that make me eligible for a bailout?
Last, I bought two large cars during the gas crunch – cheap. Now gas has gone down and my cars are paid off. Can I get a do-over on that as well so I can get something that I cannot afford?
DL: Lemme get this straight. Your house payment is up to date. Your cars are paid off. You didn’t take government money to pay for school. You’re a damned imposture and a honky to boot. YOU'RE RICH! Get the hell out of here cracker before I call security.
1 comment:
Read Dennis Leary's book "Why We Suck". It is one damn funny book. Why do foreigners hate us? Because we can spill McCoffees in our lap, sue and recieve $750k. Because a lain brain judge can sue a dry cleaner for $54 million for a lost pair of trousers and have it go to trial. Because drug companies can create a BS ailment for children and charge billions to have these idiot parents popping pills into their children like Pez candies. Hey, go on Oprah and get a car then complain that you cannot pay the sales tax! The rest of the world looks at us as weak and immoral. And why not! Now the Dear Leader is encouarging the "victim mentality". Do people with jobs go to these rally giveaways? Somehow I am missing the free cheese line again. Griff.
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