Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Unseat Scrawny Harry 2010

Ya gotta love Blago. His appointment of this Burris fella to fill P-E Obama’s senate seat reminds of the poster of a tiny mouse, pictured from behind, giving a giant bird of prey the finger just a split second before the bird’s talons are about to snatch the mouse up.

Brilliant! And what is the scrawny one to do? I’m sure Scrawny Harry was working a land deal for Blago in exchange for one of his lay about kids to get the seat. So the Scrawny one says he won’t seat Burris. Hmmm, can you say Supreme Court? It seems to me, the only way Burris won’t be seated is if he removes himself. That is entirely possible. P-E Obama offers Burris “something” in exchange for embarrassing Blago and Burris bails out. But what’s to say Blago won’t just appoint someone else? Like himself for instance.

And where does Scrawny Harry get off saying “he” won’t seat the appointment. Where does it say in the constitution that the majority leader has a say in who a state appoints to fill a vacant senate seat? My hope is that Scrawny the war is lost Reid fights the Burris nomination all the way to the Supreme Court and loses. That’d be instructive on several levels what a jerk the pompous crooked land baron really is. It could help to expose the little bastard to more NV voters and help unseat him in 2010. You go Blago. Give 'em hell Burris.

It’s already shaping up to be a great New Year. Reid and P-E Obama and most of the reflexive Bush bashers are about to learn that it’s easier to shout what the coach should have run on third down as the fourth down punt leaves the punter’s foot than to actually call the play.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Lex’s Man of the year is: George W. Bush.

NBC’s chief nit wit Keith Olbermann is still signing of with, “Good night and good news the blah blah blah day since George Bush declared ‘mission accomplished’ in Iraq.” Well first it was a bone headed move by the White House to place such a sign above the president – even if, as the White House as always claimed, the “mission accomplished’ only applied to aircraft carrier’s mission. Hmmmm why not just a “well done” sign then? As the White House has no doubt learned, war is a tricky thing.

It has now been 2,667 days since 9/11. There have been no major attacks during that time. I wonder if NBC and the rest of the LameStreamMedia will give Bush/Cheney any credit for keeping us safe when on 20 Jan 2009 – the 2,688th day since 9/11 – they peacefully hand the executive power of the U.S. over to Obama/Biden?

Sorry I just can’t see Doofus McGoofus and his side-kick tingly leg Mathews or any of the other left leaning media lemmings giving our current president his due in this regard. That’s too bad. He deserves it.

In Iraq when he was being blasted from the left, right and center, he held his ground and saw that through to what is now – listen Olberdoof – nearly mission accomplished. It remains to be seen if P-E Obama will squander the hard won advances in Iraq. I don’t think he will.

President Bush held Dems up to ridicule for not renewing the Patriot Act and Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act. Dems swore they’d never give Bush what wanted - then did. After months of demagoguery and ranting like a…well like a Democrat… even Obama supported the bills.

Bush’s little noticed or written about African policies have saved millions of lives, but that wasn’t enough for Hollywood crowd who embraced Darfur as their cause de jure. Besides, the MSM so hates President Bush they cannot muster a kind word even for a policy that saved millions on a continent where the high browed travel to adopt children. After all, they couldn’t possibly have any of those dirty, white, American, Christian, children from Appalachia running around the mansion. It’s much better PR to travel around the world and snatch up a black African child from some strange land than to travel around the corner to Catholic Services to adopt a poor American child.

On the domestic side President Bush has given us one disappointment after another. Open borders, protectionist steel tariffs and now an endless list of entities that the federal government is willing to bailout.

But for keeping us safe for the last 2,667 days; for freeing 50 million people in the Middle East; for setting the conditions that will give the region two new representative governments to point to as examples; for saving millions of lives in Africa; for never once turning as mean spirited and petty as those who oppose the very idea of him breathing, George W. Bush is Lex’s Man of the Year.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Lex's man of the year taking form

First, what have we learned from Blago?

Simple. If you offer a politician a $1,000 to support your position on an issue, it’s bribe. If a politician offers you a $1,000 to vote for him, like P-E Obama did, that’s good politics. What’s the difference? Why aren’t they both bribes?

Had I been McCain’s advisor, I’d have told him to pull a Price is Right strategy on Obama. Promise $1,001 per vote. It would have one uped Obama and demonstrated that the policy was a craven campaign tactic designed to buy votes. But hey it worked. Now Blago is headed to jail and Obama headed to the White House for doing essentially the same thing.

Person of the year candidates

Chuckles Schumer – or as Rush calls him Chuck you Schumer – for starting the current financial meltdown. Way back in June, Chuckles the clown thought it’d be a good idea to let the world know that IndyMac Bank was low on deposits. Chuckles let leak a letter to the FDIC that said the bank was in trouble. Well when a US senator – even one as dopey as Chuck you - says a bank is in trouble, people tend to listen. The predictable result was a run on deposits. 1.3 billion in assets were removed from the bank in a little over a week. The bank failed. Way to go Chuckles. In an imponderable, while Chuckles the clown was dropping dimes on IndyMac creating a panic that was the ruin of that institution, he was propping up a couple of truly troubled institutions Freddie Mac and Fannie May. Chuck you kept telling everyone that Fred and Fan were just fine – no problem here – just move along. Then when Fred and Fan melted down like the Wicked Witch of the West, Chuckles the clown pulled a bit of jujitsu that would have Jackie Chan doing a double take. He blames the whole thing on President Bush who was the one calling for more regulations on Fred and Fan in the first place.

How about scrawny Harry the war is lost Reid? Harry helped Rush Limbaugh raise over $4.2 million dollars for the Marine Corps Law Enforcement Foundation. Dopey little Harry decided it was his job as senate majority leader to ruin a particular private American citizen. Too bad dopey Harry tried to ruin Rush Limbaugh. Dopey Harry sent a letter signed by 40 other Dumacrat senators to Rush’s boss at clear channel radio demanding Rush be fired for calling an anti-war protestor who claimed to be an Army veteran, a phony soldier. Well it turns out the guy wasn’t a phony – he served all of 44 days in the Army before being discharged as a Cat 4 loser. So Rush gets the letter and auctions it off on e-Bay. The letter fetches $2.1 million which Rush matches. Well done Harry $4.2 for the MCLEF. What if simple Harry decided he was just going to ruin a run of the mill average Joe?

How about the people of western PA? They voted overwhelmingly to return to the House of Representatives a blubbering old overstuffed bag of human waste aka Jack the @sshole Murtha. Yes young Jack the @ss won the congressional geography bee when he correctly noted that Okinawa being mere 5,000 sea miles from Iraq would be the perfect place to redeploy a quick reaction force after he urged us to turn tail and run away from Iraq. Then this Hindenburg sized (g)@ssbag declared Marines conducting combat operations in Haditha, Iraq were murders before any hearing or investigation had been conducted. But still the union thug led, public school educated, Obama zombies dutifully filed one by one to the voting booth and pulled the lever in favor of sending this despicable tub of carnival outhouse waste back to congress. Way to go.

We’ll continue this discussion on Man of the year tomorrow. Hint, it won’t be any of these three pieces of detritus.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Christmas post

Ft. Wayne is under ice- apparently another sure sign of global warming. The power just came on so this’ll be quick. I hope I don’t get cut off in mid sentence.

Auto Bailout

Bush is announcing an auto bailout at 9. President Bush is touting this as a structured bankruptcy. Given the government’s propensity to bailout everyone and everything, this may be as good as it gets.

One idea set forth by Mitt was that the big three declare bankruptcy restructuring as necessary to make them profitable and the government guarantee existing and new car warrantees. This would provide stability and assurance for those in the new car market to buy American. It would ensure that they would not be left holding the bag like those of us who bought now worthless Linen and Things gift certificates to put into the wife’s Christmas stocking.

Angels of tolerance

The angles of tolerance AKA the militant gays, want tolerance for everyone but Rick Warren and the majority of Americans who oppose gay marriage. Pastor Warren has been labeled everything but a white Christian male by gays making the radio and TV rounds. Missing from the discussion are a similar assaults on blacks, Hispanics and P-E Obama all of whom opposed CA’s prop 8. For some odd reason, gay outrage is directed only at Pastor Warren.

Now is that really the kind of tolerance the gays want to foster? There are all sorts of reasons to oppose gay marriage. Religion is only one. Non-religious people might oppose it because marriage between one man and one woman has been proven to be best way to organize humans for last 5,000 years.

On that level, it’s like society saying, “Hey look, it’s none of our business what three consenting adults and a dog do in the privacy of their own bedroom and if they all love each other, why can’t they be a married?” Or, “Tell me again why I can’t marry my sister?” It’s not hate. It’s how you want to organize yourselves. And dare I say it, biological common sense. Yeah, I know, I'm a damn hate monger.

Christmas Cruellas

Unlike angry gays, I will not let what others think about my persuasions pee me off too much. Merry Christmas is everywhere in Ft. Wayne. As Mr. T might say, “I pity the fool who can’t just enjoy the season, the lights, the music and hell the story is a good one – even if you don’t believe it.”

A child bride, heavy with child, forced to travel great distances by an onerous king, for the purpose of raising taxes, no room at the inn, the child being born in a manger, a new star bright enough to be seen day and night, shepherds and three kings following the star arriving at the manger, the ruler of the land wanting the new born child killed, angels singing, drummers drumming, pipers piping etc. etc. It is a story so much better than anything Hollywood could ever come with. Why not enjoy it?

It's Christmas break for Lex

I’m off next week. I’m going to enjoy the season. The family is off to a water park in OH. I think it's one of those indoor ones. Besides I need to do some Christmas shopping. The family is getting a bit tired of receiving a new 8 X 10 glossy photo of me every year. This year I’m going all out. I’m having a dozen or so 11” statues of myself made up. I can’t wait to see their faces Christmas Morning! See you Mon the 29th with my man of the year.

Merry Christmas to all and to all…

Thursday, December 18, 2008

More snow guessed it... more warming

There is more proof that the world will come to an end at the hands of global warming within, according to AlGore, the next seven years nine months and a day. How do I know the exact date? On January 27, 2006, AlGore claimed we only had ten years left to save the planet. On that day Rush Limbaugh started a doomsday countdown clock. I referenced that clock to determine we only have seven years nine months and a day left.

So what new warming proof have we uncovered? Snow. That’s right boys and girls, the fact that it’s snowing in Huston, New Orleans and Las Vegas is proof positive to the global warming loons that we’re in a worse global warming crisis than first thought.

Geez YGBSM. What’s next some idiot saying we need to abandon free market principles in order to save capitalism? Oh wait, someone did say that. Never mind. What’s next, a professional football coach telling his players the road to the Super Bowl requires a losing season?

It doesn’t make any sense to me. But that’s what the NY Times and all the global warming Nazis would have us believe. Everything getting colder is a sure sign that global warming is destroying the planet. How does that work? Supposedly we’ve set conditions here on Earth that will have us all assuming a very warm room temperature by 2016. It seems to me that temperatures will have to continue to rise to make AlGore’s apocalyptic vision come true. So how can we have the coolest year in eight years?

Oh, I get it. It’s sort of like when you cook a pan of soup. You put the soup in the pan. You turn on the stove top. Place the pot on the correct burner. The soup begins to warm. Then in the middle of the process there are a few minutes when the soup actually begins to cool – even while sitting on a hot burner. This phenomenon is known as the “some people will believe anything” theory. Scientists have been studying this for years and haven’t been able to figure it out. I once had the burner up so high the soup actually froze before it boiled over.

Back in the mid and late 70’s, all the smartest people in the room were talking about an impending new ice age. Can you imagine little AlGore raising his hand and saying, “Excuse me professor! This global cooling is only a trend that indicates that the planet will be destroyed by global warming in the year 2016.” Idiocy!

The sun causes climate change here on Earth. If we all die from global warming it’ll be because the sun gets hotter. But then we can always look forward to that period during a heating cycle when things actually get cooler.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Why not Caroline?

While the nation focuses its attention on the IL senate seat for sale, the filling of the Shrilldabeast's NY senate seat was going pretty much unnoticed. Unnoticed that is until Caroline Kennedy expressed an interest in filling the seat. Then the feathers began to fly.

First lemme make this clear, I don’t care who fills the seat. The Gov of NY is a liberal and isn’t going to appoint anyone that I’d likely be sharing a cigar in my SUV while agreeing that the second amendment actually means what it says. So in the long – or for that matter short – run who cares?

I guess Dems do. Hillary supporters, like the candidate they supported, have long memories and don’t bury the hatchet easily – unless it’s deep into the back of the skull of their opponents. Well Caroline came out early for P-E Obama and the Shrillilites can’t bring themselves to forgive and forget.

Of course they do not say, “Caroline cannot fill the Shrilldabeast’s seat because she didn’t support the beast.” That would be too straight forward and make the kind of sense we could all get our arms around. Instead they say, “She’s not qualified.” Huh? Qualified? What qualification? The constitution only requires that a senator be 30 years old, a citizen of the US for 9 years and an inhabitant of the state from which he was chosen.

Caroline is fully qualified. When the senate is populated by such dim wits as Chuck Schumer, R. C. Durbin, Chris Dodd, Pat Leahy – well I’d go on but it’d include about 75 names but you get the point – you really cannot argue about “qualifications.” Unless you mean she’s not qualified because she really IS QUALIFIED and the majority of senators are not therefore she’s not qualified because she really is. Read it again. It makes perfect sense

As near as I can tell the only qualification that the majority of senators have is being partisan brain-dead manipulators. That being the case, I would hope that Caroline, or whoever fills the seat, is wholly unqualified by senatorial standards. That would improve the place by 1%.

Look I don’t like the idea of another Kennedy, Bush or Clinton in any branch of government. But of that set Caroline may be the best we can do. And what do we know of Caroline? Not much. Think about that. A Kennedy we don’t know much about. Seems we know way too much about most of the Kennedy’s. Not knowing much about Caroline probably means she’s not a drunk. She’s not a drug addict. She doesn’t whore around. She doesn’t think she can fly an airplane and doesn’t think her last name entitles her to much of anything – ah other than a vacant NY senate seat.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Lex's 5 step bailout plan

After ducking shoes over the weekend, President Bush gets back to his truly important presidential duties this week. Deciding who to bomb? No that’s child’s play. President Bush must decide who to bailout next. Of course, we all knew it would come to this.

Bailouts beget bailouts. Even kids know that. If you can’t draw a single customer selling lemonade for nickel a cup, you’ll have the neighborhood lined up around the block if you give it away. Businessmen know that sales are just another form of the giveaway. People who wouldn’t walk by a Neimen Markus (aka Needless Markup), are suddenly drawn in by a three letter word S-A-L-E. Just a bit of Joe Biden humor there.

So President Bush will soon decide on the nature of the auto bailout. P-E Obama is talking about appointing an auto Tsar. Paul Volker’s name has been dropped to serve as the auto Tsar. I’m sure he’s nice guy, but what the hell does he know about building cars? Seems to me we’re always making the same mistakes. When something positively needs to be done, the US government goes out and appoints a "Tsar" who doesn't know the first thing about what it is he's Tsaring to run it. Besides did the Tsar thing really work out all that well for the Russian people? Instead of a Tsar, maybe we ought to be appointing competent managers.

Here’s what needs to be done if the taxpayer is going to bailout automakers:

Step one: Appoint a competent manger. Maybe Mitt Romney ought to oversee the US auto bailout. At least he has some experience in MI and with automakers. If not Mitt how about Jack Welsh? Welsh got things done at GE. What we don’t need is a business as usual Washington insider.

Step two: Restrict compensation for auto and UNION execs to two-and-half-times the highest hourly wage of employees. Hey, if we’re headed down the socialist road, might as well go all the way. We hear a lot about the auto execs “compensation packages.” We need to make sure the union chiefs are restricted as well.

Step three: No more “jobs banks.” If 15,000 union workers are going to be paid to sit on their butts, the pay will come from union funds. Let’s see how long the rank and file will put up with that arrangement.

Step four: Any US taxpayer who buys a big three auto in 09 gets a $2,000 tax break. Yeah, it’s a bit protectionist. But there is no reason the taxpayers who are paying the bill ought not benefit from the bailout as well.

Step five: Ensure a reliable, reasonably priced and abundant source of fuel to power the cars. An uncertain energy policy is hurting car makers by making buyers skeptical about buying. Let’s face facts here, a long haul car capable of seating a family of four or five isn’t going to run on wind, solar or even batteries in what’s left of Lex’s lifetime. Let’s make sure there is fuel to put into these beautiful cars we're going to be building to make them go. If we don’t do that, we might as well waste the bailout money on a nationwide light rail system.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Shoe throwing girlyboy new hero for MSM

Our MSM, who cannot find anything heroic about Amercan efforts on the battlefield of Iraq, have a new hero. The MSM's heart is all a flutter about some Ba’ath excrement for brains throwing a shoe at President Bush over the weekend. Instead of using the incident to expose what it represents – some clueless twit acting like a moron – OUR MSM is yucking it up at President Bush’s expense.

I’d like to get an interview with the brave Iraqi reporter who took his opportunity at 15 minutes of fame – not to ask our president a probing question to advance the understanding of what has happened in Iraq – but to throw a shoe. First off I’d congratulate him for being such a brave man. That took a lot of guts to heave a shoe at the President of the United States – like a girl by the way. Man you are the man! Now exactly how many shoes did you heave at Saddam Hussein? Come on Mr. Big Shot, Mr. Brave and wonderful, how many?

The fact that Mr. Girlyboy is still among us, thieving oxygen, is about all we need to know. He never threw a shoe or uttered a single word of public protest against the man who murdered thousands upon thousands of Iraqi people. Not a word of doubt for the man who funded suicide bombers in Israel. Not a single whoa there big guy let’s rethink this whole Ba’ath dictator thing and public policy to use the Sunni minority to suppress the Shia majority.

Coward doesn’t begin to describe this guy or those who chortle at his antics and hold him up as some kind iconic hero. When that worthless dope threw his shoe at President Bush, he was throwing it at every American. He was disrespecting those – living and dead - who gave him the freedom to throw that shoe in the first place. He proved himself to be nothing more than a bit of human crud fouling the machinery of civility.

Those who cheer him aren’t much better.

Friday, December 12, 2008

$15 billion bailout is like paying $150,000 for an '87 Le Baron

Imagine, if you can, your son - who is a UAW worker but hasn’t worked in 5 years instead he sits at the “job bank” from 6 am until 2 pm doing nothing and makes $100,000 a year. That’s $20,000 more a year than you make. – pulls his wrecked Corvette into your driveway one afternoon.

Jr. proceeds to demand $15,000 from you to get his car fixed. “WHAT!” you yell. Jr. says, “Yeah, pay up. It’ll be cheaper for you in the long run because if you don’t pay to get my car fixed, I’ll miss work and get fired – sure as a UAW member it’ll take several years but sooner or later they’ll fire me if I stop showing up. Then I’ll be broke and have to move back in with you and mom.”

“Well how much are you going to kick in,” you demand. Jr. explains that things are a little tight for him right now and he just cannot make any concessions at this time.

You point out that $15,000 doesn’t look as if it’ll cover half the damage. Jr. agrees. He demands the $15,000 now explaining he’ll be back for more when he needs it.

“Well what are you going to do with the money,” you demand. Jr. talks about new spinner wheels and a “bitchen” new stereo. You protest that he may want to get the car running right before investing in such unnecessary stuff.

“Look pops you know you’re going to give me the money. You paid for little Sis's house when she couldn't make the payments - a house much better than the one you live in I might add. Mom will make you. Besides if you don’t, your whole world will come crashing down around you. Believe me. I'll make it happen. So just pay up.”

“That’s extortion!” you yell.

“Yeah, it is,” Jr. calmly agrees.

How is the auto bailout any different? The UAW will not make any wage concessions while threatening an end to the world as we know it if Joe taxpayer doesn’t pay for the union’s broken car. Automakers want the money to keep things going for another quarter – then what? Terminator economics that’s what. They’ll be back.

Without fundamental changes in the way the big three and the UAW do business the 15 billion will go right down the crapper. It’s like buying expensive new spinner wheels and a bitchen new stereo for an 87 Le Baron that doesn’t run.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Coaches, crooks, warming and bailouts

Coaches and crooks

OK follow me on this one – Illinois is to politics what Miami University is to college football coaches. Miami is/was know as the cradle of coaches including Earl Blaik, Paul Brown, Woody Hayes, Bill Arnsparger, George Little, Weeb Ewbank, Sid Gillman, Ara Parseghian, Bo Schembechler, John Pont, Carmen Cozza, Bill Mallory, Jim Tressel, Joe Novak, Ron Zook, Dick Crum, Paul Dietzel, William Narduzzi, Randy Walker, John Harbaugh, Gary Moeller, Larry Smith, Dick Tomey, Sean Payton and Terry Hoeppner.

So that would make Illinois in general and Chicago in particular the cradle dirt bag politicians – Levi Boone, Daley(s), Rezko, Jackson(s), Ayres, Wright, Gov’s Otto Kerner, George Ryan, Dan Walker, William Stratton all are or have done time in the big house and now Rod Blagojevich.


In another sure sign of global warming, it snowed in Huston yesterday.


The geniuses that gave us AmTrak, the US Postal Service and the IRS are about to go into the car business. This will ensure that cars of the future will have all the style of a shoebox, not enough power to pull the hat off your head but will be considered green until confronted with the problem of re-charging and disposing of the batteries at which point the government dolts will find out that they have created an environmental mess. Every car dealership in the country will be staffed by a thousand disgruntled union employees and you’ll still be ignored at length before being treated like crap.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Automaker's bailout to provide UAW money for nothing

The auto bailout is about throw 15 billion good dollars after trillions of bad. First the American auto industry is not in as bad a situation as the UAW and certain mid-western pols would have you believe. Detroit is a mess. GM is a mess. Ford is a mess. Chrysler is a mess. But the American auto industry in the south – Hyundai Toyota Honda - is thriving.

Why is that? Well they don’t have to deal with the UAW for one. They don’t open and maintain scores of unprofitable dealerships, for another. And in one of the more insane programs in any industry, let alone one begging 15 billion dollars of taxpayer money, they don’t have to deal with paying thousands of employees millions of dollars for doing nothing.

It’s true. In something called a Jobs Bank - a two-decade-old UAW program - nearly 15,000 auto workers continue to get paid after their companies stop needing them. To earn wages and benefits that often top $100,000 a year, the workers must perform some company-approved activity. Many volunteer or go back to school. The rest clock time in a place called the rubber room. In Flint, MI the rubber room is a windowless old storage shed. It is filled with long tables and has space for about 400 employees. The “employees” (A person who WORKS for another in return for financial or other compensation) must arrive at 6 a.m. each day and stay until 2:30 p.m., with 45 minutes off for lunch. A supervisor roams the aisles, signing people out when they want to use the bathroom.

Yes, your hard earned Yankee tax dollars will be providing automakers money to fund their rubber rooms where millions of dollars will be paid out to UAW members who are no longer needed to place the “horse collar” grill assembly onto the Ford Edsel, stuff horse hair into the rumble seat upholstery of the Model T, or assemble the vacuum tube car radios replaced 30 years ago by solid state assembly.

This is idiocy of the highest order, which is exactly why it will sail through a Democrat congress.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Too big means just that - too big

Well never thought it’d come to this. I thought that when the government tried to take over American industry, American industry would be the first to fight the government tooth and nail. I thought the government would have to come in the dark of night with National Guard troops and a court order from the 9th circuit to seize factories. Sort of in the manner that the loony Maxine Waters indicated when the oil execs were testifying on Capitol Hill when she let slip that "maybe it’s time to nationalize the oil companies.”

Boy was I wrong. Instead of fighting, American carmakers are groveling hat in hand for the government to take over about 20% of their operations. Instead of locking the gates, fouling machinery and forming human barricades to impede government encroachment on their business, the car guys are handing the keys to the plant over to Barney Frank.

If you think that that is a stretch, think again. There is no way that Lib fools like Pelosi, Frank, Reid – wait, why name them Lib & fools comprise a set of the whole – are going to keep their fingers out of that pie. They will be dictating color, model names, hose clamp design and tire tread patterns within six months after any of the big three take even a nickel.

When I asked the Griffin about the current economic hard times, he asked what hard times? It’s a great time for small business because they are able to react more quickly to the changing circumstances than the big guys. Think OODA loop here. Orient-Observe-Decide-Act - small business can do that at the speed of light compared to the big guys. Boy does that shoot a howitzer size hole in the notion “too big to fail.” It’s more like – too big certain to fail. The “too” in "too big" in this case is like being too fat, too slow, too stupid etc.

So what happens when some old auto exces get together after the government take over of the big three and they decide to build a three model line of good looking, inexpensive and well built cars to rival the line of overpriced, under powered heaps of crap that the government is turning out? Barney Frank will regulate them out of business that’s what.


If you read the comment from the Griffin on yesterday’s post, you now know that the infamous exploding candle episode happened to him. Had I known he’d wear the incident as badge of honor, I’d have credited him with it yesterday. If you have 20 minutes, get the full story. Picture one of those new flat top stoves – the ones where you can’t, or at least men can’t, see the burners and a candle on top of the stove. It’s one of those fragrance candles that smells like blueberry muffins or pumpkin pie that women buy so they don’t have to cook blueberry muffins or pumpkin pies.

The best part goes like this:

So I go over to the stove to check my soup. I take a spoon full and taste it. It’s stone cold. That’s when I notice the burner behind my pot of soup glowing bright red. A nanosecond after that I notice the candle sitting on top of the red hot burner boiling like a pot of over cooked pasta.

The rest of the story goes on to detail the candle’s explosion, the ensuing fire, the heroic effort to put the fire out, the clean up and the wife’s reaction.

Monday, December 08, 2008

Enjoy the season by ignoring the Christmas Cruellas

Well it’s that time of the season again. Everything is a bit brighter. Everyone seems a bit happier, a bit quicker to lend a helping hand. Well almost everyone.

It’s the time of year for Christmas lights, bell ringers, caroling, Santa, and sadly it’s also time for the Cruella DeVilles of the Christmas season to surface. It seems every year before the first helping of Thanksgiving Turkey is gone, a sorry group of people ooze up to play all sorts of silly games. In an effort to make the rest of us as miserable as they are, the Christmas Cruellas make all manner of outrageous statements about Christmas and demand the rest of go along because after all it’s free speech.

When one city put a Nativity scene in the courthouse Christmas Cruellas came along and demanded to place a sign next to it reading: "There are no gods, no devils, no heaven or hell. There is only our natural world. Religion is but myth and supersition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds." How nice.

Another group of Christmas Cruellas calling itself the American Humanist Association claims to be an American educational organization. They are sponsoring bus signs that read: “Why believe in god? Just be good for goodness sake.” This group of nit-wits claims that signs aren’t meant to offend anyone. OK then why not just say, “Be good for goodness sake” and leave it at that? Why even bring up God with a lower case “g” if you do not intend to offend anyone? The song that made the tag line “be good for goodness sake” has nothing to do with religion in the first place so why introduce it here? The entire point of these dopey ads is to offend, and anyone who says it isn’t is a lying dolt.

And elected officials and judges just let it go on. Elected pansies are ever mindful to never offend anyone no matter how desperately they need to be offended. These “officials” seem not to care one wit how much better off we’d all be if said officials grew a set and told the Christmas Cruellas to go away and come back when they got a life.

And no, these groups of curmudgeons aren’t Christmas Cruellas simply because they do not believe in God. They are Christmas Cruellas because they cannot bring themselves to simply join in the joy of the season – celebrating the solstice, snow, a day off or whatever cause floats their boat – instead they undertake activities to ruin the season for everybody. And I guess that is where they find their joy, screwing everybody around them.

We all know the type – smug, impossibly thin, overeducated, black unitard, Birkenstock wearing, Pries driving, tofu eating, visualize world peace dopes. Or their exact opposite counter parts, uneducated, ugly, overweight, greasy hair, trailer dwelling white trash whose only hope of ever being noticed for anything other than the number of dogs living in the trailer is to be a public nuisance.

My plan for dealing with these dopes is to ignore them in the most hopelessly polite manner possible. We all had someone who did this to us, an aunt, uncle, teacher, supervisor or, in my case, wife. You come running in all indignant about some crisis. Like, “Hey! Did you know that the candle you left on the stove top exploded and nearly burnt the damn house down while I was my cooking soup?” And the reply comes while she’s walking across the kitchen without breaking stride, “Oh that’s nice dear.” And you’re left standing there wondering what just happened?

So when/if I wish someone a merry Christmas this year and I get a reply, “I don’t believe in Christmas.” Or any response other than thank you and same to you, I intend to reply with a, “Oh, how nice. Good for you.” And walk off whistling “Joy to the World” hopefully while the person is in mid-sentence trying to explain this or that about why Christmas isn't for them.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Auto bailout will destroy the planet

Auto bailout? Hell no! Here’s why.

First, it was 16 degrees in Ft. Wayne this morning a good 10-15 degrees below normal. Dec is already well on the way to breaking record lows – as did Sep – Oct – Nov – for the last 10-12 years.

So what does that have to do with bailouts for the big three? Gee, I’m glad you asked. With temperatures plunging ever lower, we’re going to need all of the CO2 we can get to warm things up. That means all the large gas guzzling CO2 belching SUVs Detroit can pump out in the near term – until we shift into another warming pattern in the next 15-20 years. If Detroit takes the money, Washington, already a thorn in the automakers side, will be the nanny to the industry. Like everything Washington touches, the American automobile industry will be much worse off in very short order.

If you doubt this consider these two humorous asides,
Quote of the day from a fund manager: "This is worse than a divorce... I've lost half of my net worth and I still have my wife.."

The bailout, a different perspective:
Back in 1990, the Government seized the Mustang Ranch brothel in Nevada for tax evasion and, as required by law, tried to run it. They failed and it closed. Now we are trusting the economy of our country to a pack of nit-wits who couldn't make money running a whore house and selling booze?

The next point is that gas is falling through the floor. An American commitment to develop its own resources will hasten and deepen the fall. This is perfect storm to warm things back up here on the mothership – Earth. Detroit needs to produce the kind of cars it excelled at and we need the CO2 to warm things back up. Now we get the good news that gas prices are going to cooperate as well.

A bailout will ruin everything the auto industry, the economy but most of all the bailout will cause a worldwide cooling trend certain to destroy the planet.

Save the world! No bailout!

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Maybe Obama is right

Evidence is mounting that the militants or gunmen or perpetrators or socially disenfranchised or any one of the 15 or so other euphemisms that the MSM uses to describe the murdering Islamo-Terror-Fascists bastards who carried out the Mumbai massacre were…drum roll please…trained Pakistanis. This is shocking. Who knew? Oh yeah, Lex did and said as much a couple of posts under.

Since 9/11 I’ve appreciated the pressure on the Pakistani government. They are walking a tightrope to aide the war on terror while at the same time maintain civil order. The Pakis have played their hand wonderfully – doing just enough to garner billions in US aide but not enough to flush out bin Laden and other hard core al Qaeda/Taliban loons from their sanctuaries in the “ungovernable portions of Pakistan.”

Here’s a shocker and there must be a cool breeze blowing through hell right now, maybe P-E Obama is right. During Democrat debates, Obama took heat for saying that given actionable intell, he'd strike targets inside Pakistan without Paki permission. Maybe the time has come for the US to step in and do the things that the Pakis can’t or won’t in the “ungovernable portions” of that country.

Oh! That was just too much. I need to take a powder and lie down. I'm sure, like everything else, he'll flip flop on that position as well.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Wimpy economics explained

Since the bailout is humming along so swimmingly, markets stabilized, manufacturing up, housing stars up foreclosures down, automobile sales through the roof, and all of it accomplished by the government simply throwing a couple of trillion dollars it doesn’t have around, Nan Pelosi believes it’s time to move the economy into over-drive by borrowing another 500 billion dollars to fund another stimulus package. Really, what have we gotten from the first two trillion in bailout money? An economy in recession, markets with daily triple digit mood swings, one market sector after the next standing in line for a handout and what - nothing but trouble, that’s what

This is idiocy of the highest level. There is not one thing being produced or service being performed to provide taxable revenue upon which these expenditures can be PAID FOR. Nothing.

It will be paid for by the U.S. government borrowing more money – mostly from the Chinese. When lenders wake up and realize that the dollar is next to worthless, the same thing that happened to the housing market will happen to the dollar and the U.S. government. They’ll be worthless. OK the government is already worthless, but the dollar is next. Because when lenders stop lending the only thing left is to run the printing press 24/7/365 to churn out more and more fiat dollars. Then we’ll all need SUVs or pickups to get the money we’ll need to buy a loaf of bread to the grocery.

This is what Lex will term J. Wellington Wimpy economics. Wimpy, as the oldsters will recall, is the rotund fella from the Popeye cartoons who wonders in and out of scenes and says, “I’d gladly pay you Tuesday, for a hamburger today.” So Wimpy is getting his hamburger today. When Tuesday comes and Wimpy can’t pay, he’ll throw out another couple of his famous lines, “I’d like to have you over for a duck dinner. You bring the ducks.”

But it’ll be Mr. & Mrs. Taxpayer who will end up getting their gooses cooked here. And if you don’t believe me – you should but – here’s another view of the situation from Fred. Enjoy the finely honed sarcasm.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Mumbai massacre carried out by crazed Mormon missionaries

Hey what’s the most under played aspect of the Mumbai massacre? All of the attackers seem to have been Mormons who flipped out under the pressure of a mission in a far away and strange land. I'll bet nobody believes that's true. Well, nobody but maybe Mike Huckabee. I’ll bet the attackers weren’t Mormon, Catholic, Jew, Hindi or Buddhist. At the risk of sounding a bit politically incorrect, I’ll bet big Sis’s entire Neal Diamond collection that the attackers were to a person Muslims.

But you have read on and on and listen very closely to get even a hit of the religious affiliation of the attackers from the MSM. They are referred to as militants, attackers, gunmen, possibly Pakistani, or one of 15-20 other lame-brained descriptions. Never are they referred to as murdering terrorist bastards. Given what we know about the set of the whole of murdering terrorist bastards in the world today, we can assume with about 99.99% accuracy that they are Ismalo-terror-fascists murdering bastards.

Well I’ll go out on a limb and say that the Mumbai massacre was carried out by ITF from Pakistan. I can make the assumption that the murderers were ITF by the extra torture meted out to Jews during the attack. I can assume that that they are Pakistani because India and Pakistan have been going at it since I can remember. I don’t need proof. Common sense, that rarest of commodity in the diplomatic process, tells me it’s true with about a 99.99% certainty.

And here’s another link to think about. Apparently the ITF murdering bastards in Mumbai came into the country via the sea. They used a pirated Indian vessel to get close and then came ashore using rubber boats. Now who is it doing all of that pirating in the region? Oh yeah, Muslim Somali pirates.

Well thank God P-E Obama and Sec State select Clinton are on this thing. No doubt after 20 Jan all of these things will cease as the word joins hands and sings Kumbaya in the true spirit of Hope-n-Change.

Monday, December 01, 2008

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a trampled WalMart employee

In a sure sign that our economy is teetering on verge of total collapse and in keeping with the true spirit of Christmas, anxious WalMart shoppers, eager to spend what’s left of their money, trampled to death the store employee responsible to unlock the door at the start of black Friday. All of these shoppers must have been tourists or illegal immigrants, because I could have sworn the MSM said all Americans were broke. Where did all of these “shoppers” come from?

This is disturbing on so many levels. First, news reports say it was a “crowd” that broke down the doors. It wasn’t a crowd. A crowd assembles to watch a high school football game. This was a mob akin to those who turn cars over after the game – win or lose. Next, as noted below what kind of people get up at 3:30 a.m.; stand in line for hours; trample a store employee to death; continue to shop while the poor guy lay dying on the floor - all to save $50- $100? Last, what kind of store demands that its employees get up at 3:30 a.m. the day after Thanksgiving to get to the store to open at 4 a.m. or earlier to tend to the first group of knuckleheads?

I haven’t seen anyone so wracked with guilt as to come forward and admit to stepping on the man – even while claiming that they were simply being pushed along by the mob. I haven’t heard of anyone returning their ill gotten goods to WalMart as penance for being part of such a grotesque seen. I have heard WalMart express sadness for the death of an employee but nothing regarding the insane store policies that led to it.

Oh no, hell no, I’m not one of those, “Hey it’s society’s fault” nit wits. No. It’s the fault of the first 100 or so lunatics who pushed their way into that store and in the process of “being first in” to save $100 on an X-Box, trampled a man to death. A store ought to be able to open and close its doors to customers as it sees fit. They ought to be able to offer its customers deep discounts on the most popular items to get people into the store. A store ought to be able to do those things without hiring on a battalion of security guards as mob control. So it’s the mob’s fault not the store’s. The only question I have for WalMart is, why is it so important to have a mob standing in front of your stores at 3:30 a.m. the day after Thanksgiving?

No it’s not WalMart’s fault, but the only entity like to be made to pay for the man’s death will be the WalMart chain.

I wonder how many parents will proudly be telling their kids this Christmas, “You enjoy that X-Box son. Daddy had to trample a man to death to get it. That’s how much I love you.”