Well it’s that time of the season again. Everything is a bit brighter. Everyone seems a bit happier, a bit quicker to lend a helping hand. Well almost everyone.
It’s the time of year for Christmas lights, bell ringers, caroling, Santa, and sadly it’s also time for the Cruella DeVilles of the Christmas season to surface. It seems every year before the first helping of Thanksgiving Turkey is gone, a sorry group of people ooze up to play all sorts of silly games. In an effort to make the rest of us as miserable as they are, the Christmas Cruellas make all manner of outrageous statements about Christmas and demand the rest of go along because after all it’s free speech.
When one city put a Nativity scene in the courthouse Christmas Cruellas came along and demanded to place a sign next to it reading: "There are no gods, no devils, no heaven or hell. There is only our natural world. Religion is but myth and supersition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds." How nice.
Another group of Christmas Cruellas calling itself the American Humanist Association claims to be an American educational organization. They are sponsoring bus signs that read: “Why believe in god? Just be good for goodness sake.” This group of nit-wits claims that signs aren’t meant to offend anyone. OK then why not just say, “Be good for goodness sake” and leave it at that? Why even bring up God with a lower case “g” if you do not intend to offend anyone? The song that made the tag line “be good for goodness sake” has nothing to do with religion in the first place so why introduce it here? The entire point of these dopey ads is to offend, and anyone who says it isn’t is a lying dolt.
And elected officials and judges just let it go on. Elected pansies are ever mindful to never offend anyone no matter how desperately they need to be offended. These “officials” seem not to care one wit how much better off we’d all be if said officials grew a set and told the Christmas Cruellas to go away and come back when they got a life.
And no, these groups of curmudgeons aren’t Christmas Cruellas simply because they do not believe in God. They are Christmas Cruellas because they cannot bring themselves to simply join in the joy of the season – celebrating the solstice, snow, a day off or whatever cause floats their boat – instead they undertake activities to ruin the season for everybody. And I guess that is where they find their joy, screwing everybody around them.
We all know the type – smug, impossibly thin, overeducated, black unitard, Birkenstock wearing, Pries driving, tofu eating, visualize world peace dopes. Or their exact opposite counter parts, uneducated, ugly, overweight, greasy hair, trailer dwelling white trash whose only hope of ever being noticed for anything other than the number of dogs living in the trailer is to be a public nuisance.
My plan for dealing with these dopes is to ignore them in the most hopelessly polite manner possible. We all had someone who did this to us, an aunt, uncle, teacher, supervisor or, in my case, wife. You come running in all indignant about some crisis. Like, “Hey! Did you know that the candle you left on the stove top exploded and nearly burnt the damn house down while I was my cooking soup?” And the reply comes while she’s walking across the kitchen without breaking stride, “Oh that’s nice dear.” And you’re left standing there wondering what just happened?
So when/if I wish someone a merry Christmas this year and I get a reply, “I don’t believe in Christmas.” Or any response other than thank you and same to you, I intend to reply with a, “Oh, how nice. Good for you.” And walk off whistling “Joy to the World” hopefully while the person is in mid-sentence trying to explain this or that about why Christmas isn't for them.
1 comment:
Ah yes..the Infamous Candle Incident. Who was the idiot that turned the stove on. Me of course. Was it my fault? In a court of law I beleive the judges would assign percentages of culpability. I contend that most of the culpability should lay at the feet of my beautiful wife. Would you place a loaded pistol in the playpen of a two year old? No. She should have known that I could not be trusted around a cookstove! It is ALL her fault! Which takes me to those that attempt to destroy the true meaning of the season. If a person infuriates me by mocking Christmas, by infringing on my personal religous beliefs, by accusing me of a shortage of intellectual thought, and I smack him upside the temple with a Louisville Slugger is it my fault? I say no. Those that placed those conditions before me knew the probable result. I am speaking of both the Infamopus Candle Incident and any future ass whoopings I place on a "Holiday Heretic".
The Griffin.
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