Monday, January 31, 2005

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Told you so

Dad said never to say, “I told you so.” Sorry dad. I told you so. See the post below. Democrats are in a fit over the 72% turn out in the Iraqi elections. They can’t stand an American success. John, “I got my butt whipped by a man my party said was an idiot” Kerry is already deriding the Iraqi election as predicted below. Gold Diggin’ John notes, "It is hard to say that something is legitimate when whole portions of the country can't vote and doesn't vote". No doubt, were he around in 1864, after serving 4 days in the Civil War, declaring himself a war hero, participating in the New York draft riots, John would be telling the world Lincoln’s reelection was illegitimate because slaveholders in the south were not able to vote.

The brave Iraqi people faced the kind of real danger that John was only able to fake in home movies of himself while in Vietnam. So what’s a Bush hating Democrat to do? They can’t say, “Bravo! Whatever else went wrong in Iraq, the Iraqi people have this great day thanks to America!” Instead, they are forced by some deep seeded disgust in Bush and America to act like mean girls at a beauty contest running down the winner. They are petty and pathetic. The only good news is that they are on their way to another royal butt wippin’ in ’06. Dangerous Mark Dayton will have plenty of time to hide out in his bunker after the mid-term.

Iraqi elections are bad news for terrorists and Democrats

Iraqi elections are bad news for terrorist and Democrats. Amid threats of violence from terrorists and the US cutting and running from Fat Teddy Kennedy, the Iraqi people are pouring into the streets to cast their votes. Unaffected by an insurgency that is weaker and more unpopular than the mainstream media will ever let us know, and a blowhard US senator more effective at drowning people in his car than reflecting the views of the US people, the Iraqi people are voting. Terrorist will be forced to rethink what is happening in Iraq. As the US slides further and further into the background, the terrorist claim of US occupation and a puppet government rings hollow with the voting public. Proof of the Iraqis doing for themselves is that the media is now accusing Iraqis of torturing terrorists in prison.

What’s a blowhard like Fat Teddy to do? First, sober up. Then waddle up to the attic and find your neck brace. Then you can go on TV, feign a few tears and apologies for your support of America’s enemies. That’s what he should do. What he will do is continue to attack America and the president. No doubt Fat Teddy will blame any casualties of this day on George Bush. “Aaah, awll of these terrible casualties ahh Geoge Bush’s fault. If he had listened to me, Saddam would still be in powah and we wouldn’t have these terrible casualties.”

Unless the Democrat Party finds someone sane to give it voice, the Republicans may break 60 votes in the senate after the next mid-term election. The Democrats are so focused on their hatred of President Bush that they oppose liberty because Bush is for it. They support the insurgents in Iraq because Bush is trying to defeat them. And to those who say, “Well the Democrats don’t really support the terrorist.” Ask yourself this question, “How would their comments and actions be any different if they did?” They’d be doing exactly what they are doing - trashing the president - giving hope to the insurgents with comments from Fat Ted and nearly every other Democrat spokesman – speaking gloom and doom at every opportunity. So, they may love America. They just refuse to act like it. I guarantee regardless of what ever happens today in Iraq, Democrats will minimize the positive and accent the negative.

Saturday, January 29, 2005

Home of the brave?

While chicken excrement Minnesota Senator Mark Dayton runs from hiding place to hiding place, yelling liar – liar and claiming the sky is falling in America, millions of Iraqi citizens will head to the polls under the real threat of violence. One wonders how Brave Brave Sir Robin (See the archived Oct 16 post) would be acting were he an Iraqi citizen. No doubt Robin would be offering up his wife and children to terrorists and hiding in a deep hole just to save his own worthless hide. (Simpson’s episode: Martians land and knock on the Simpson’s door. Homer answers. The Martians say, “We’re space aliens and we’ve come to eat you.” Homer says, “But I’m a married man with three children. Why don't you eat them?”)

But while crazy Marky Mark “is my limo armored?” Dayton struggles to find a safe place, Fat Teddy looks for a free shot of whiskey while siding with our enemies, and hoe handle smart Babs Boxer sends out fund raisers to support her obstructionism, real heroes in Iraq will take to the street and vote. They will be protected by other real heroes – the American fighting man. The number of American heroes will be 31 fewer due to a helicopter accident last week. How does Fat Ted want to pay tribute to our heroes? Fat Ted wants to cut and run like Dangerous Mark Dayton when he learns a Girl Scout Troop is selling cookies on Capitol Hill.

I’d pay money to see these two fine examples of American manhood race for the last fighting hole during a mortar attack. Teddy being fat and slower than a snail in the freezer would have to resort to trickery. “Aaah, look Maak it’s Haley’s comet.” Dopey Dayton falls for it and looks up. Because there is no bridge to drive Dayton off of, Fat Teddy hits Brave Brave Sir Robin in the groin with a large stick. Robin falls to the ground writhing in pain. Fat Teddy trundles toward the fighting hole with all of the speed of a fear stricken opossum.

20 minutes later, as Fat Ted is just about to finish his 20 yard dash to the hole, Robin regains his cowardous. Thinking quickly, he grabs a flask of whiskey from his pocket. He shouts, “Teddy, how about a drink?” Fat Ted stops dead in his tracks. He turns toward Dayton who is holding the flask aloft in one hand. Fat Ted begins drooling all over himself. Brave Robin knows he has won. He throws the flask away from the hole. Fat Ted chases the flask, now like Carl Lewis running for Olympic gold, and Dayton, after years of practice running from every danger real and imagined, races safely to the hole.

Too bad the most dangerous thing that either of these two weasels will ever face is the fear of radon gas in the basement of one their multi-million dollar homes. If Fat Ted and Brave Robin were an example of the average American male, in an odd reversal, even the French would be making fun of us. Which of course means, if the French can, everyone can.

Friday, January 28, 2005

The pontifications of General Swimmer

Senator Edward M. Kennedy, Teddy to some because he’s like an overweight, drunk uncle who pinches his nieces bottoms, “the swimmer” to others because he drove his car off the Dike Bridge at Chappaquiddick, resulting in the drowning death of “that woman” passenger Mary Jo Kopechne then took 9 hours to sober up and report the accident, “the general” to still others for the sound military advice he gave to brother JFK in such places as the Bay of Pigs and Vietnam, yesterday said U.S. troops, instead of defeating the insurgency in Iraq, are spawning it. He called for immediate withdrawal of 12,000 troops after this weekend's election and a complete pullout by early next year. Teddy’s used to quitting. After diving down several times in an attempt to retrieve his “friend”, the swimmer said, “Ah what the hell, better get home and sober up.”

Now General Swimmer wants the nation to show all of the determination and honor that he was able to muster on July 18, 1969. He wants us to quit. The president, I suppose, could dawn a neck brace and go on nation wide TV, feign a tear or two from the Oval Office and explain how hard he tried to save Iraq.

What a great tribute to the 1,500 souls lost. Quit - Run away - When the going get tough do it the Democrat way. Why anyone would go before this blowhard and listen to him pontificate about anything is beyond me. Why the Democrat Party let’s this pant load open his mouth in public is another mystery. I hope I’m alive to hear some senate witness say to General Swimmer, “Look buddy, I’m not going to sit here and be lectured by you about anything. You are a morally bankrupt and pathetic figure. No one ever drowned in the back seat of my car. I’ve never stood around in my underwear while my nephew sexually assaulted a woman in my ‘Florida compound.’ You can ask your questions, but like someone taking the fifth, I will simply repeat what have just said.”

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

An odd reaction to liberty

Liberal Democrats and the media were shaking their collective heads last week over President Bush’s liberty speech. Who was Bush to talk about bringing liberty to the far corners of the world when we have deficits here at home? Democrats and media talking fruit loops reminded me of the movie Amadeus when the count or whomever told Amadeus he didn’t like the music because it has “too many notes.” The Democrats and T.V. talkers didn’t like Bush’s speech because it had too much liberty. Yes, yes that’s it too much liberty. This is just how odd things have gotten. The hate Bush and whatever he might say crowd is now forced to condemn liberty.

Then to make matters worse, the anti-liberty crowd got unexpected help from the No. 1 terrorist in Iraq and chief be-header Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. Al-Zarqawi joined the anti-liberty crowd and announced that democracy is "an evil principle” - a principle he declared war on in Iraq. This is sort of like Osama bin Laden endorsing Kerry just before the election. There is some help you ought to forego and even denounce loudly. Democrats should have/should denounce Michael Moore, bin Laden and al-Zarqawi. With friend s like these…

When the chattering classes were asking the question, “Why do they hate us?” after 9-11, it probably never crossed their small minds that for 50 years we have propped up Mid East lunatics because they have oil. That’s right, because we supported these silly emirs, dictators, kings, Caliphs etc. for oil while they went about brutalizing their people. We talked liberty while turning a blind eye to the brutality of the oil sheiks. You think that might have something to do with some of the frustration of the people in the Mid East? I am of the mind that our duplicity with regard to liberty is a lot more likely answer than funding for the poor. The lib answer to every perceived problem in the world is to throw/waste money on it. So we should throw money at oil rich satraps so we can buy some good will. The best hope for oppressed people everywhere is liberty, not a few million dollars of US or UN aid that will end up in the pocket of the oppressive dictator anyway.

Bush is exactly right. Liberals see the Bush speech as a prelude to war in Iran. Maybe it is. I doubt it, although while we’re there we might as well get it over with it. I think Bush’s speech was directed more at our “friends” than our enemies. The proof of Bush’s speech will be more in how Bush treats our liberty limiting “friends” than how treats the North Koreans, Iranians etc. The truly funny thing will be to watch Bush continue to beat the drum of freedom forcing knee jerk liberals to oppose the idea.

Monday, January 24, 2005

The 6 o'clock news going, going...

The 6 o'clock news with Pete, Dan and Brian is doomed. But it’s not doomed because Pete, Dan and Brian are liberal news readers, which they are. It’s doomed because everything they have to say at 6:00 p.m. is ancient history. The 6:00 news is doomed because technology will not stop simply because ABC, CBS and NBC want it to so that they may keep a grip on American group think.

The mainstream media is going, going and is just waiting for the gone. The first “going” was Al Gore’s invention of the Internet. The second “going” was Dopey Dan’s effort to subvert an American election with fake documents and his exposure within 30 minutes by Internet bloggers. The gone will be the relentless march of technology. If cable T.V. put a dent into the 6:00 news what will be the effect of 24-7 live in color video streaming available ANYWHERE ANYTIME via Palm Pilot oops Blackberry and on-star type satellite systems?

There is nothing that is going to return T.V news to the good ‘ol days. It is an uncontrollable downward spiral for T.V. news. The news audience is going to continue to fracture as more and more real-time news outlets become available. Live Internet streaming will be the next big thing when band width issues are addressed and as more and more efficient satellites go up. People will soon be sitting in airports watching Fox news on a hand held instead of airport CNN.

How long will all of this take? Who knows. But it sort of like a house of cards in room full of six-year-olds. You don’t know when it will fall, but you know that, in spite of countless warnings to “be careful”, that house is going down. That’s where the 6:00 news is right now. Just hanging on precariously waiting for one more rush of wind - technology. In five years the picture will have changed dramatically.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Proud to be an American

I listened to, what quickly became apparent was, a brain-dead women describe America as arrogant - not this politician or that political party as arrogant mind you, but America the whole nation as arrogant. She was an American living in Germany and was talking to a British fellow. I concluded that she was just seeking the Brit’s approval.

I’ve had the same discussion with this fellow and others along the way. When people start in on Americans, my response is always the same. The world ought to thank God that Americans are running America. The eyebrows go up and a quizzical look crosses their face. Then I point out, “What if the Germans ran America with all of its strength and wealth? What if the Japanese, Chinese, French or nearly any other people ran America with its wealth and power? The world would be significantly different and not in a good way. Americans for as much as the world likes to dump on us are the most generous, hardest working, fun loving, creative, compassionate people in the world. We protect the world, act as its policeman, as its 911 service, contribute more than any other nation to and host the worthless UN and ask for NOTHING in return. We don’t even care if the world likes us when we’re saving it from itself. Sure we’ve made mistakes. But nobody is harder on us than we are on ourselves when we do. So say what you want about America and Americans. We’re only the greatest, richest, freest and most open society in the history of the world. Oh yeah, we’re also the biggest bad-ass on the block. There is not one good thing that goes on in this world without our money and know how. It’s normal that as once great nations begin to fade they, like Lilliputians, try to tie the waking giant down. The word for it is jealousy.”

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Suddenly truth matters

Now that Bill Clinton has left the White House un-indicted, with the silverware and everything else that wasn’t nailed down there and on Air Force One, Democrats have found a new respect for the truth. At Condi Rice’s confirmation hearing yesterday, Democrats forewent the Aunt Jemima comparisons that their like-minded friends in the liberal media had engaged in when Rice was first nominated. Fearing a backlash for calling an accomplished black woman an Aunt Jemima so close to MLK day, Barbara Boxer instead just called the uppity darky a liar.

"Your loyalty to your mission you were given overwhelmed your respect for the truth, and I don't say it lightly," Boxer said yesterday at the hearing. This after Democrat leader Harry Reid called Clarence Tomas stupid and Tom Daschel deep-sixed Miguel Estrada because he was an accomplished Latino. What do all of these have in common? Rice is, of course, more talented, smarter, and more accomplished in a greater variety of fields than Boxer could ever hope to be. All are certainly well qualified and accomplished people. But that is not what makes them dangerous to the Democrat Party. They are dangerous because they are conservative thinkers that somehow slipped off the reservation and succeeded beyond where liberals think they should have without government assistance and loyalty to the Democrat Party.

Democrats cannot have these kinds of people - who have broken the stereotype and found success without the government programs so dear to libs - in positions of power spreading, Gasp!, conservative ideas. A couple of posts below, I noted that Republicans do while Democrats talk. Well, President Bush has found great minority nominees, blacks, women, Latinos, Catholics and the Democrats have impugned their intelligence, their temperament, their commitment to civil rights and have obstructed and blocked them from serving. All while maintaining that they are the party that is the last best hope for minorities. The bad news for the Dems is that it didn’t work in the ’04 election and will not work in ’06. Red state Dems better get a word in edgewise or they’ll be going the way of the three prong pitchfork.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

We wus disinfranchized

Remember the dopey kid that never made a mistake. Everyone, it seems, grew up around at least one of this kind of kid. I didn’t drop the ball. The sun got in my eyes. I didn’t strike out. The umpire is blind. I didn’t fail the test. The teacher doesn’t like me. Somewhere along the way 99.999% of these guys catch a clue and figure it out. The other .001% are John Kerry and other Democrat losers.

John boy didn’t get his butt whipped by what Democrats have spent four years telling us is a mental midget. Democrats didn’t lose senate, house and governor’s seats in the same election. How embarrassing would that be? Mr. Four Month War Hero trounced by an idiot National Guard guy that didn’t even show up for work. No he could not have lost because he wasn’t able to state the same Iraq policy twice in a ten minute span. He couldn’t have lost because he sees nothing wrong with a government financed, partial birth abortion, for a minor without parental notification. He couldn’t have lost because he comes off like a pompous gold digging jerk. No, none of that is possible. He had to have been cheated.

John Boy tells us there was widespread disenfranchisement of Democratic voters in the 2004 presidential election. At Boston's annual Martin Luther King Jr. Day Breakfast Senator The Sun Got in My Eyes charged that "thousands of people were suppressed in the effort to vote…Voting machines were distributed in uneven ways. In Democratic districts, it took people four, five, 11 hours to vote, while Republicans [went] through in 10 minutes — same voting machines, same process, our America." Odd that the party that tried to disenfranchise everyone who voted in Ohio by challenging that state's certification is now decrying, drum roll here please, disenfranchisement. Odd indeed.

Well the first question that comes to my mind is, “Who the hell is running voting in Democrat districts?” I suppose it’s incompetent Democrats (insert your own oxy moron joke here). Fire them all John Boy and hire Republicans if you want the trains to run on time. But it’s a double edge sword. If you hire Republicans to run your districts, they’ll likely challenge felons and illegals – which will put a big dent in one of your larger voting blocks. The only good thing one can say about Kerry’s latest flagellation of the mouth is that at least he wasn’t bashing America in a war zone for the benefit of our enemies this time.

The Democrats I know

The Democrats I know:
- Think Michael Moore is a divisive boob that cost more votes than he ever brought to the party.
- Think that George Soros’s money dumped into the 2004 election would have been better spent on inner city minorities.
- Think public schools are essential so they send their own kids to public schools.
- Think partial birth abortion is an abomination – murder.
- Think that government should provide a safety net to society’s most vulnerable not go about redistributing wealth it has done nothing to create.
- Think victory in Iraq is the only option now that we are there so they support the troops by supporting the troop’s mission.
- Think that Americans ought to be able to own a shotgun, rifle or even a handgun.
- Think that government programs established in the 1940s can be changed to reflect the realities of 2005.
- Think that the Constitution says what it says and should be changed by amendment rather than judicial fiat.
- Think that presidential nominations are turned down when the full senate votes not when 40 senators say no.
- Think parents have a right to know if their minor daughter is going to have an abortion.
- Think America by and large is a force for good.
- Think that America needs to remain strong so that it can continue as a force for good in the world.
- Think George Bush is decent man irrespective of policy disagreements.

For a strong America we need two strong parties. The two national parties are supposed to reflect the center of America. The parties are supposed to argue the important issues of the day at the margins. While abortion may remain the law of the land, we ought to be able to agree that pulling a baby feet first from the womb and then sucking its brains out is not something we ought to condone. One of our national parties thinks this practice is OK. While the parties may argued about the wisdom of the Iraq war, once engaged the parties should be expected to close ranks and win the war. Party leaders should not be criticizing American policy from the war zone or giving hope to otherwise hopeless terrorists resisting American forces by comparing the current conflict with Vietnam.

The Democrat party sadly has been turned over to its fringe elements – anti war, anti American abortionist. The fringe left is undoubtedly happy about the party’s sharp turn to the left. Were I to run the Republican Party, I’d be extremely happy but, I’d likely be the only one in the party. Sadly, that seems were the Democrats are today - fringe people advocating fringe issues. As a result Democrats continue their freefall.

Republicans do, Democrats talk

As we wrap up the Martin Luther King weekend, I ask myself, why have Democrats owned the black vote for the last forty years? A few things being left out of the political discussion on this Martin Luther King Day is the strong record of Republicans and glaring weakness of Democrats.

- Although the Democrats controlled both houses of the Congress at the time, a much-higher percentage of Republicans than Democrats supported the civil-rights bill of 1964. In the House, 79% of Republicans voted for the Civil Rights Bill of 1964 compared to 63% of Democrats.
- In the Senate, in order for the bill to pass, civil-rights supporters needed two thirds of the Senate to break a filibuster by the opposition. 82% of Republicans voted to break the filibuster but only 66% percent of the Democrats voted to end the filibuster.
- Who has been standing in the way of civil rights? Democrats.
- Who turned the hoses on demonstrators in Birmingham? Bull Connor Democrat.
- Who stood blocking the school house doors? George Wallace Democrat.
- Who put the Confederate flag up on the statehouse in South Carolina? Fritz Hollings Democrat.
- Who was a Kleagal in the KKK? Robert Byrd Democrat.
- Who has been talking about the same issues for forty years with regard to minorities without having done anything? Democrats.
- Who has taken the minority vote for granted? Democrats.
- Who thinks that the only way for a minority to succeed in life is through government assistance? Democrats.

Republicans have not gotten the credit they deserve because black leaders such as Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton will not allow it to happen. They will not allow it to happen because they have a seat at the table with the Democrats but only because they can deliver a monolithic black vote. When 20-25% of the black vote wakes up and begins to vote for a party that has done more than talk about then obstruct minority progress Jesse and Al will be unceremoniously excused from Democrat meetings. Like a lot of other issues, Republicans do while Democrats talk.

Friday, January 14, 2005

Just too many coincidences

In the post several below, I noted that not to believe in God requires that you believe in a very long list of coincidences and evolution. After a couple of days of thought, here are just a few of the most obvious coincidences that come to mind:

- Is it just a coincidence that the earth is perfectly positioned in relation to the sun to support life? By space standards, were the earth’s orbit moved a tiny fraction in any direction it would be just another lifeless rock floating in space.

- Is it just a coincidence that in the main, earth’s one year journey around the sun perfectly supports a growing season to feed us and a dormant season to replenish the earth? Imagine if the earth’s journey around the sun were accelerated. Would plants mature in time to support life? Imagine if it slowed. How many days of winter could we endure before starving? Of the endless possibilities, why 365 ¼ days?

- Is it just a coincidence that the earth rotates on its axis at a rate that perfectly divides night and day? Why not a 36 hour day? Or two sunrises in a 24 hour period? Of all of the possibilities why a perfect 24 hours?

- Is it just a coincidence that earth’s atmosphere is perfectly suited to support the plethora of life found here? Why can’t man with all of his genius recreate what is just an accident? We’ve all read about these stupid biosphere projects where man tries to sustain life in a sealed dome. By about day three, they have to adjust the air pumping toxins out and fresh air in. By about the third week they have to pump fresh water in. By about the third month they have to ship food in and excrement out. By about the fourth month, after everyone in the biosphere bails out of their living hell, the scientists declare the experiment a huge success.

- Is it just a coincidence that of all of the, I don’t know, thousands or millions of species and sub-species man is the only creature with a free will, capable of rational thought and the ability to exchange ideas? How unlikely is that?

- Now this is where it gets down right freaky. Study any part of any living thing. Study your own hand. Is it a coincidence that everything is perfectly matched form to function? Study a pine cone or flower. Is it a coincidence that they are at the same time simple in design but complex in function, beautiful but remarkably efficient? When man tries to make something, the more complex the task, the more complex the design. Think of the space shuttle here. And aren’t we more often than not forced to trade esthetics for efficiency. What’s pretty about a nail? If God made nails I suspect that each head would as intricate and different as a snow flake and the body would tiny different collored flecks throughout, oh yeah, they wouldn't bend when hit crooked. Some might say that man, through crossbreeding and cross-pollinating has created many new breeds. Sure, man tinkers, it’s his nature. It’s the whole free will thing. But Gods idea of a dog is a wolf. Man’s pathetic attempt to improve on God’s work, which depending on His mood caused either a chuckle or a raised eyebrow, results in a Lhasa Apso.

The doubter will argue that these designs occurred over millions of years and are simply due to evolution and natural selection. Why would evolution care about the beauty of anything? Evolution being what it is, shouldn’t the whole world look like the inside of a Klingon battle cruiser? But that’s an argument for another day.

Suspend all fun

Democrat shill disguised as AP reporter, Willie Lester and other libs are taking aim at President Bush – gambling in Casablanca? Shocking! This time Willie and his pals are zeroing in on the cost of the inaugural parade and balls. Most of the money comes from private donations. No matter to these do-gooders, that money could be better spent doing other things such as providing aid to tsunami victims. (7.2 billion dollars have already been pledged. By the time Kofi Annan’s family other UN officials get done looting the fund they’ll probably need to raise 10 times that amount.)

Basketball BILLIONAIRE do-gooder spokesman Mark Cuban wrote on his blog, "As a country, we face huge deficits. We face a declining economy. We have service people dying. We face responsibilities to help those suffering from the ... devastation of the tsunamis". Cuban challenged Bush to set an example: "Start by canceling your inauguration parties and festivities." Essentially Cuban is challenging America to cancel every party until the world is a perfect place. If your youngster is having a birthday party this weekend, cancel it. Send the money that would have been spent on that party to the tsunami victims. Your six year old will understand. Mark knows how to spend your money. For your anniversary is this year, you and your spouse can split a can of pork & beans and send any money left over into save the whales. Listen to Mark, he’s better than you. Hey Mark, Mr. Big Shot, let’s do the youth of America a favor and cancel the rest of the NBA season, which in light of the tsunami suffering seems so shallow, and send the money into the US Treasury to reduce the deficit. (Actually, the NBA season would seem shallow if it were compared to Jessica Simpson.)

Yo, Willie and Mark, why don’t we do both? Why not have the parties continuing life as normally as possible while at the same time maintaining our place as the most generous nation on earth? How about Mr. Billionaire big shot with the bigger mouth pledging a dollar to tsunami aid for every dollar spent on the inaugural? Hell, why not ten dollars? I think it’s because they really don’t give a hoot. They could quietly go about doing good deeds with their own money leaving the rest of alone but they choose to publicly thump their own chest, which doesn’t cost them a dime. It’s almost always easier to appear to be good than actually do the good dead. Nice try Mark, until you sell the team, donate until you’re forced to live in a 1,500 sq ft apartment and drive an 8 year old Chevy just shut your pie hole.

The rest of us will continue to give generously to the causes of our choice and still go about living normal lives, even going to, GASP! an occasional party or two.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Dumbest comment ever

Teddy Kennedy has claimed first place in “The dumbest comment ever uttered” category. Homer Simpson had been in first place ever since he told Bart, “…it’s every parent’s dream to outlive their children.” Teddy passed Homer yesterday when at The National Press Club he said "We as Democrats may be in the minority in Congress, but we speak for the majority of Americans." Hmmmm? Teddy’s most recent stupidity gives him the unfortunate honor of having two comments in the top five. While questioning Alberto Gonzales about water boarding is not that dumb, Ted’s failure to see the irony of him asking those questions puts him at #3 just behind Homer.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Yes, I believe in God

With a Tsunami killing 150,000 people and mudslides threatening life in California, the godless are asking how a good and merciful God could allow such things to happen. I guess these people forgot about all that smiting and smoteing that went on in the Old Testament - floods, plagues, cities destroyed, deaths of the first born, armies destroyed, and people wandering the desert for 40 years and to prove God had a sense of humor there was the Tower of Babylon. (No, had is the right word. I don't believe that God is dead. I just don't know if He has a sense of humor anymore.)

I believe in God. Not because I’ve studied the question. Though I own a copy of “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown’s Commentary on the Whole Bible”, I’ve never opened it. I believe because nothing else makes sense to me.

People of faith are trying to get God back into school by using euphemisms such as, Intelligent Design and Creationism. That strikes me funny. Schools in the US, when they actually taught and students learned, were created to teach the Bible. So now God has been booted out and is trying to get back in under an assumed name. To me this is sort of like Walter Camp being kicked out of the Football Hall Fame. Then a group or football purists try to re-introduce him to the hall of fame committee as Wally the rules dude. It also reminds me of the book “A Separate Peace” (Thank you Mrs. Donovan.) when Phineas tells Gene, “Always say a prayer just in case there is a God.” Well hey guess what, if there is a God and you try to BS Him, He’ll know. And that is what the terms Intelligent Design and Creationism are all about, trying to BS God, the city council and the school board. The first knows, for the other two, your cross, generosity and the polite way you speak give you away.

Yes, I believe in God, not because I’m a pious, self-righteous, religious right-wing nut but - because not to believe in God requires that you believe in an 800 page, single spaced, 3 point type (get your glasses and try it), list of coincidences and some unexplainable thing (to me anyway) called “evolution”. I hope to get my ideas on these coincidences and evolution down to something readable in the near future.

Abu Ghraib worse than Saddam

The worst thing that has ever happened in Iraq is not Saddam Hussein or terrorists attacking the innocents or Iraqi infrastructure. Ask any lib in DC or big media sound alike. The worst thing that has ever happened in Iraq is Abu Ghraib.

Alberto Gonzales’ confirmation hearing allowed prisoner abuse to again raise its ugly head. Let’s stipulate the prisoner abuse at Abu Ghraib demonstrates a breakdown of military discipline and is not a good thing. The only thing worse than the humiliation of the Iraqi prisoners, who, by the way, consist of murderers, bombers, anarchist and terrorist, is our own national humiliation brought on by the grandstanding and over-the-top feigned outrage of some politicians who smell a political opportunity.

While America is locked in a life and death struggle with Pan-Islamo-Terror-Fascist, these politicians and their supporters sense a political advantage and are willing to press it home no matter the cost to the nation and its fighting force. Facts mean nothing to this crowd. The fact that the military leadership announced to the world an immediate and thorough investigation of the abuse only days after the allegations surfaced is of no matter. The fact that the abuse centered on a dozen or so soldiers and contractors on one shift at one prison is immaterial. The fact that whatever abuses were occurring have long since stopped is not worth noting. The fact that military trials have been and are being conducted for those accused of wrong-doing is not important.

What’s important to this self-serving crowd is that there are pictures out there that might be used to drive the Secretary of Defense from office and embarrass the president. They seem more willing to put their women in burkas, buy prayer rugs and convert to the most extreme form of Islam than to allow this president to wage a successful fight on the maniacs who, given the chance, would slit all of our throats for their own now famous version of wackiest home videos.

War IS hell. In the summer of 1415 King Henry V met the French army at Agincourt. After initial success, when it appeared that the battle might turn against him, Henry ordered prisoners that numbered in the thousands killed. In September 1864, in reply to a letter from the citizens of Atlanta, GA begging relief from an order to evacuate and burn the city, Gen. Sherman wrote, "You cannot qualify war in harsher terms than I will. War is cruelty, and you cannot refine it; and those who brought war into our country deserve all the curses and maledictions a people can pour out. I know I had no hand in making this war, and I know I will make more sacrifices to-day than any of you to secure peace.”

So, in the grand scheme of the cruelty of war, what occurred at Abu Ghraib is rather insignificant. Those responsible, though they have made more sacrifices than most to secure peace, will and already have faced swift and sure justice for their actions. What makes this a national tragedy rather than a success is the endless, public, national self-flogging we’re engaging in for political advantage. I’m not sure any nation with such tender sensibilities can or should ever wage war irrespective of how many of its citizens might be slaughtered on a September morning.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Rather? Who cares?

I suppose I ought to say something about Dangerous Dan Rather-not. First, I have not watched a network news broadcast since August 1991. It’s not because the news readers (Dan, Pete, and what’s his name that took Tom’s place) are all left-wing lib ideologues, though they clearly are. It’s because by 5:30 or 6:00 pm anything they have to say is old news. I can remember when I stopped watching network news because that’s when I came into the 20th century and bought a computer. I could look at three web sites at 1:00 and know everything that was going to be on the network news. OK the Mrs. O’Leary’s cat type stories that they do would be new, but who cares.

So, that said, Dan skated. Ask any navy man, when a ship runs a ground, the skipper gets the ax. It doesn’t matter that he was asleep in his state room when the ship found the bottom, he’s a goner. Dan was the skipper of that lie CBS tried to pass off as news. He should have been publicly and unceremoniously axed. They should have run a film of Rather leaving Black Rock with a box of his belongings on the six o’clock news about two days after the “story” ran. Rather’s culpability lies in his description of himself. He says he’s a reporter. Reporters don’t run BS obviously fake – fake to the point of being exposed with-in 30 min of airing – documents to destroy a sitting president. Now if Big Dan claimed, rightly, that he was nothing more than a news reader, well then that’s a different story.

As for CBS, they, like all major news agencies, have such a left bent that it’s ridiculous. And they don’t even know it. Bernie Goldberg’s theory is that the major media is so inundated with left thinking people that it never occurs to them that there might be another side to a story. They aren’t bias because they want to be but rather (no pun) because there is no one within the organization to say, “Wait a minute, who the hell is Bill Burkett?” or “Mary you’ve been working on this for five years. If there was anything to it, shouldn’t it have surfaced long ago?” or “Just because you want it to be true doesn’t mean that it is.” Baring some tidal shift in thinking, they are doomed. For me they’ve been dead since August 1991.

What's the problem? I'm covered.

There is a saying in the naval services, a polite way of pointing out a self-centered, one-way creep. The assaying goes, “Pull up the ladder. I’m aboard.” In the old’n days of naval service, when men were made of steel and ships of wood, if a party went ashore for liberty they likely were rowed ashore in a long boat. They would return in the same manner. To re-board the ship they’d have to climb a rope ladder up the side. The saying comes from some self-centered senior doofus who made the climb, and then with complete disregard for his shipmates still in the long boat, ordered the ladder hoisted up because, after all, he was aboard.

RINO Representative Rob Simmons who represents some 650,000 voters in Connecticut gives new meaning to that old naval saying. In comments on reforming Social Security one way Rob opined, "Why stir up a political hornet's nest .... when there is no urgency? When does the program go belly up? 2042. I will be dead by then." Translation: “Why should I, Rob Simmons, perhaps the most important person in the universe, risk my political career on a bill that won’t even line my own pockets with taxpayer money? Pull up the ladder. I'm aboard”

This Social Security thing is just heating up. The two things libs will try to obscure are: 1) It’s your money in the first place. (Don’t believe that employer matching crap. If the employer wasn’t matching it, he could pay it to the employee.) 2) You don’t have to participate. That’s right. If you think the people that run the post office, Amtrak, buy $600 toilet seats (I could go on for hours but you get the point.) can manage your money better than you can yourself, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ENROLL IN THE PROGRAM.

Contact one-way Rob @ (Which doesn’t work very well) or:

Congressman Rob Simmons
215 Cannon House Office Building
Washington, DC 20515

Phone: (202) 225-2076
Fax: (202) 225-4977

Give him the old lib mantra, “It’s for the children.”

Are we there yet?

Do the talking heads remind you of children on a long trip like Bart Simpson, “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?” Looking for an easy way attack the president, they are once again obsessing on the Iraq exit strategy. Can we leave yet? Can we leave yet?

Here’s a hint, in WWII, Germany surrendered May 7, 1945. We still have over 100,000 US troops serving in Europe. Japan surrendered on August 15, 1945 but the 3rd Marine Division and the 7th fleet are still in Japan. After fighting the Moro Indians and the Japanese in the Philippines we remained until 19991. The cease-fire in Korea was signed on July 27, 1953. We still have over 37,000 troops in South Korea. Today, we continue our “one year” peace mission in the Balkans which began in 1995.

And what have we left in our wake in these places? Have we colonized them? Have we, as their conquerors and/or protectors, stolen their resources? No, for the most part we have established democracy and paid our own way. At great expense to ourselves, we have provided protection and assistance to the conquered. While we absorbed their military obligations, the money they would have been forced to spend on defense went to building their industry. Now, free of defense obligations for the last 60 years, they are able to compete with us to sell their cars, radios, TVs and airplanes to the world.

The talkers want to turn the whole thing in Iraq over to NATO or the UN. Besides the fact that neither has the…hummm…guts to take on anything meaningful, neither would exist were it not for the US. What would NATO be without US participation? It would be a fourth or fifth rate military alliance incapable of defending Europe from even a neutered Russia let alone projecting military power to the Middle East. The UN without the US acting as its host and its largest contributor would further degenerate into what it largely has become anyway a platform for dictators, thugs, strongmen, satraps, theocrats and communists to bash the US.

The short answer to the military and strategic thinkers obsessing on our Iraq exit strategy is: “At the earliest, when the mission is accomplished but if history is any indicator, we’ll continue a presence as long as our strategic interests dictate.” We need only look at the results of our early withdrawal from places like Vietnam, Lebanon and our first efforts in Afghanistan to predict the outcome in Iraq if we leave early.

Friday, January 07, 2005

No Rest for the Swiftboat Vets

As if listening to this pompous blowhard for a year weren’t enough, John Kerry has already renewed his bid for the presidency by criticizing US war policy from - the senate floor? nooo, from his Boston office? nooo, from Iowa? nooo, Mr. lout goes to Baghdad. That’s right, the traitorous creep that sold-out his buddies (if he ever had any) by supporting the North Vietnamese and Viet Cong in the streets of Washington D.C., across America as well as in Paris during peace negotiations is now undermining the US war on terrorism by speaking out against US policy in of all places - Baghdad. Just when you think one person couldn’t get any crasser, cheap, despicable, loathsome, boorish and un-American Mr. Doofus shows up in Baghdad to announce his candidacy for 2008.

Not able to comprehend, what by modern political standards was, his (and the Democrat party’s) monumental ass-whipping in November ’04, the ever self-absorbed Kerry must believe it’s still all about him. Forgetting that he supported the war when it was politically expedient, Weaselboy lamented, "What is sad about what's happening here now is that so much of it is a process of catching up from the enormous miscalculations and wrong judgments made in the beginning." Then with all of the brilliance of Mr. Peabody fresh from a trip in his Way-back Machine, Johnny Gigolo questioned the decision by former U.S. occupation leader Paul Bremer to disband the Iraqi army and purge the government of former members of Hussein's Baath Party. Time traveler John claims that both moves have fueled the Sunni insurgency whining, "Mistakes have been made."

First of all, I’d like to ask General John, “What Iraqi army?” The Iraqi army more or less disbanded itself. How would one have gone about reconstructing something that was utterly destroyed? Also, did we go about reconstructing the SS after WWII? How would the majority of the Iraqi people responded if a brutal minority Sunni army and Baath party remained in power? We’d likely be battling a legitimate insurgency made up of the majority Shia’ population. So now that Mr. Peabody knows the outcome of the Bush policy, he hops into his Way-back Machine and cites where the strong man stumbled advocating a policy that, while we’ll never know for sure, would likely have made matters worse.

Kerry is a spineless, slimy, little creature who warrants no respect, sympathy or serious consideration. The people that do warrant respect, sympathy and consideration are The Swiftboat Vets for Truth, who it appears, are going to have one more mission in the fall of 2008.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Dumb and Dumber

In a move that has to have Karl Rove rolling on the ground from laughing so hard, red state Democrat senators worried and shaking their heads and gives new meaning to the word losers, house Democrats led by John “The turkey thief” Conyers and Nancy “My face isn’t stretched tighter than a drum from botox” Pelosi and Democrat Senator Barbara “What me worry - I’ve already won reelection” Boxer are challenging the election results in Ohio. (No, I don’t think that wasn’t a run-on sentence.) This is after an expensive recount in Ohio gave John Kerry a staggering additional 300 votes thus trimming President Bush’s victory in Ohio to 118,457. If that rate holds, Kerry will overtake Bush on the 198th recount. Given that it took Ohio 56 days to get through the first recount, it’ll only take a little over 30 years for Kerry to gain the required Electoral votes. He’ll be 91 years old. Let the recounts continue!

To any sane Democrat left out there: This is why fewer and fewer Americans take your lunatic party seriously anymore. You have dopes like Boxer challenging the legitimacy the guy that won the Electoral College by 35 votes and the popular vote by more than 3,000,000 votes. Then you have Ted “More people have drowned in the back of my car than from water boarding” Kennedy complaining about water boarding of terrorist prisoners. Water boarding is technique that gives the prisoner the sense that he is drowning. By the way, most of America’s Special Forces and aviators under-go water boarding as part of their training. You’d think that somewhere along the way someone would have told Ted, “We’d better let someone else ask about water boarding. After all, you drowned that woman in the backseat of your car... remember?”

But when your adversary is bashing his head against a brick wall, why intervene? Because, like when a three-year-old is beating on a drum in front of the TV during the Super Bowl, there is only so much one can take.

Write Your Own Damn Check

Uninformed and/or lying UN bureaucrat Jan Egeland has created a fire-storm of controversy by calling the US stingy. He calls us stingy even though while the US makes up 5% of the world’s population, it contributes over 1/3 of the world’s total humanitarian aid. Only 1/3? How stingy can 5% of the world’s population be!! First, you’d think that after the mismanaged UN Iraqi oil-for-Chirac program people from the UN would quietly go about cleaning up their own cesspool of corruption before they point their crooked, boney, finely manicured fingers at anybody else.

When confronted, Egeland retreated faster than the French army saying he didn’t say what he clearly said; that he didn’t mean what he clearly meant; that his statements that need no context, were taken out of context. When confronted on Fox News by Chris Wallace with tapes of his remarks, Egeland’s smooth bureaucratic style was of little use. He appeared to be either a very poor liar, like an eight-year-old kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, “Honest mom, I was looking for my Gameboy.” or a complete psychopath who tells obvious lies straight-faced but doesn’t know that what he just said was a lie, like…oh I don’t know…Bill Clinton.

But liberals are like buzzards, all it takes is the scent of scandal against America for them to start circling. No hint of American failure real or imagined, large or small is too crazy or insignificant for liberals to forego a gathering to pick at the bones. So it is for Egeland’s comments. Liberals don’t call Egeland the uniformed dolt he is, like President Bush did in not the same words. They endorse and reinforce his comments.

But liberals have always thought that it is a government’s responsibility to dispense charity – and the more the better. Liberals always get their best ideas when they are spending other people’s money. They are the limousine liberals that oppose vouchers while sending their own children to private schools, who oppose gun owner’s rights while they are protected by armed body guards, who oppose SUVs because of poor gas mileage while jetting about the country in private aircraft and who are the most charitable when they are giving away your money. To Al Franken, The New York Times and all other liberals who think that the US response is inadequate – WRITE YOUR OWN DAMN CHECK and give until it hurts. Coerced charity, like that which comes from a government which confiscates funds from its people, is not charity at all.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Talk About Torture

The word is that the brilliant minds in the Democrat Party are going to try to embarrass Alberto Gonzales, President Bush’s pick for Attorney General, with prisoner abuse photos and videos. Asking Gonzales about the prisoner abuse is well within the purview of the senate’s oversight responsibility.

There are three problems for Democrats though. First, they always overreach. Some pompous bonehead (sadly not a unique description when dealing with politicians, sort of like saying, “the guy in red” at Ohio Stadium during a home game) will start railing about the lack of air conditioning, cable TV, feather beds, long distance phone service and the choice of dinner wines at Guantanamo. Next, aside from Democrats interested in scoring political points against President Bush and Michael Moore who thinks Johnny Jihad is a modern day Minuteman, nobody gives a rat’s derrière how a terrorist is treated. As the matter of fact there is probably a very large segment of the population that is of the opinion that terrorists ought to be afforded all of the humanity that they afford to others.

Last, when Chucky Schumer starts showing pictures of naked Iraqi men, much to the delight of Barney Frank, some Republican with a backbone, (sadly a very unique description) ought to run a film of a partial birth abortion. When it’s over, ask Chucky how a party that is not offended by a practice that sucks out the brains of innocent, nearly born, fully viable babies, can be offended by pictures of naked men who, given the chance, would hack Schumer’s head off on video in time to be shown on the Al Jazeera six o’clock news. Hell, how could they be offended by anything?

Saturday, January 01, 2005

The Death of a Great American

At a time during which we contemplate in excess of 140,000 deaths from a tsunami and 175 from a fire in an Argentine night club, it might seem a bit odd to dwell on the death of one elderly American. But hey, it’s my blog. Besides, he was one of my heroes and most significantly, he was my dad. Below is the eulogy delivered at his funeral on December 23, 2004.

Good morning and thank you for braving the weather and joining us during this busy Christmas season as we celebrate the life and morn the passing of a father, a brother, a grandpa and great grandpa, an uncle and a friend.

Dad was born to immigrant parents on May 26, 1917 in Columbus, Ohio. His sister Anna and brother Tony preceded him into life. His younger brother Henry followed him into life.

To put that into perspective for us younger ones, in 1917 aviation, which influenced much of dad’s life, had been born just 14 years earlier in 1903 with the Wright brothers’ first flight at Kitty Hawk, Woodrow Wilson was the President of the United States and gasoline cost a whopping $.14 a gallon.

His youth was marked by a confident and strong nation fresh from victory in WWI, a period of American history know as the roaring 20s.

America was the nation his parents knew it would be when they left everything that was familiar to them to make a better life in this great nation.

Dad grew up on the south side of Columbus in German Village, where we learned of several physical and astronomical phenomenons. According to dad, life on the South side was tough, his walk to and from school, where he played football and basketball, was all up hill…in both directions. It snowed every day and no matter which way you turned, the wind was in your face.

But as it is in life where challenges often follow good times so it is for great nations, the Great Depression and WWII followed the roaring 20s.

These two great events marked not only dad’s character but also the character of his entire generation, many of whom are with us here today.

Like his two brothers, dad answered his country’s call to duty and served in the Army Air Corps during WWII, flying B-29s in the Pacific.

On June 20, 1943 dad married mom in Mexico City and began their near 60-year journey together, a journey which ended just a little over two years ago when we met here for mom’s passing.

After the war mom and dad raised six children, ran a painting business, then an independent advertising business. It wasn’t until late in life that they began the business that was dad’s true calling, the recreation of WWI and WWII aviation memorabilia.

Everything about my dad to me seemed larger than life. To start with he was 6 feet 4 inches tall with that booming voice and personality to match.

But it was more than that, everything he did - he did in some grand way.

We didn’t have a swing set that came from some local hardware store. No, Dad made ours from pipes he found on some job site. And it wasn’t 6 feet high. It was 10 or 12 feet high.

In addition to ordinary snow sleds, which we had by the dozen, we had a 10’ wood bobsled that dad and Rick built in the garage and which dad would tow around the neighborhood behind an ancient red station wagon affectionately known as “the bomb” while a dozen or so thrilled kids from the neighborhood would scream in delight from the sled tied to the back.

I don’t think we ever had one of those little kites from the dime store. No, ours came from Dad’s imagination and were built in the basement. They were four or five or even six foot box kites hand painted by dad in a bright colorful manner with really cool designs.

In summer, a slip and slide wasn’t some cheesy 4x6 piece of plastic that fell apart after two turns. It was a 6 foot by 20 foot piece of heavy duty plastic with two hoses turned on it so that the entire neighborhood could use it all day and it would still be good enough to be used again.

For dad, building a snowman wasn’t a matter of stacking three large balls of snow one atop the other. No, we piled the snow, then packed it and dad sculpted the snow to form the body and the arms. The head and face weren’t just a ball with carrot stuck in where the nose went, rather they too were sculpted and the hat didn’t come from the closet, it also had to be sculpted from snow. After all, as dad pointed out the obvious, “It’s called a SNOW-man.” Then just when I thought the whole thing was done, dad disappeared and retuned with paints and somehow he painted that snowman to look just like Santa Clause.

When we had a yard party, it wasn’t good enough to just mow the grass. Noooo, the grass had to be cut twice, once the long way and once the cross way. This demand, as you might guess, further endeared him to my brothers and me.

But when I think of how dad did things, I always recall ice – yeah, the ice spectacular he created in front of the house on Elburn Ave. One cold night about this time of the year the weather was below zero. I remember looking out the front window with my brothers and sisters watching dad throw ropes over the limbs of one of the big trees in the front yard and then turning the hose on them full force. I remember asking, “What’s he doing?” I don’t recall any of the answers, just a lot of laughing, but in the morning there was a ton of ice in our front yard frozen to the tree and those ropes. Over the next several days the hose remained turned on day and night. He’d get up at three o’clock in the morning, and even leave Christmas parties to move the hose until he had a perfect curtain of ice from the ground up about 20 feet. Then he backlit the whole thing with colored floodlights and dad even turned the hose onto three stepladders, then made a crown and gift for each to represent the three wise men. I don’t recall when all of the ice melted away, but I do remember being in a t-shirt with little patches of ice still in the front yard.

Even getting sick for dad had to be big. A cold or flu wouldn’t do. No he got lung cancer, and smoked his last Chesterfield the morning they operated to remove the effected lung.

For dad, a vacation in Mexico didn’t last a week, it lasted for a year.

Taking the camper out didn’t mean a weekend at the local park, it meant leaving Southern California for an 18 month odyssey driving up and down the AlCan Hiway, across Canada, down into the East coast of the US, half way across the US toward California then back to Ohio when Anna had an accident, before finally returning to California.

Yeah, he did things in a big way, but dad also did all of the little things. I’ve often wondered how many years of their lives and how much of their fortunes mom and dad and my aunts and uncles spent:
Going to little league games
Dance and music recitals
Brownie and Girl Scout meetings
Cub and Boy Scout meetings
Building pine wood derby cars
PTA meetings
Trips to the circus
Trips to the fair
Camping trips to Michigan
Columbus Jets baseball games
Columbus Owls hockey games
OSU football and basketball games
Parent teacher conferences – some of them not all that – shall we say - encouraging
Synchronized swim meets
Prom and wedding dresses
High school football and basketball games in every kind of weather
Nights spent awake waiting to hear the car pull into the driveway
First communions
And yes funerals
But all of our parents did it all, didn’t they, and they did it with enthusiasm, grace and hardly a complaint because they were from “that generation” and that’s just what you did. They did it all many times over and with too little gratitude from those of us who reaped the benefits.

Every holiday seemed to mark a large family gathering with aunts, uncles and cousins where dad told funny stories, sure they were often the same ones but with some new and funny twist. Mother’s Day he planted geraniums in the garden for mom. Easter was picture time with everyone in brand new Easter clothes - before they got covered in chocolate. Memorial Day was a trip to the pool and a backyard cook out. The 4th of July dad took us to the parades and the fire works and decorated our bikes. Labor Day it was soup or a ham slow cooked in the pit in the back yard. At every gathering he argued politics where back in the 1950s, I think it was, I heard he once even conceded that a certain Democrat wasn’t quite as bad as he had first thought.

Many families mark their children’s passage into adulthood at a graduation or with a driver’s license or the ability to buy their first beer – uhmm legally. The Schumick’s marked adulthood when a child was invited into Aunt Anna and Uncle T’s basement for the Christmas party. At my first Christmas party, an argument raged over who would win the Super Bowl. Before long dad had the pool organized was taking the money, writing down the winning team and point spread. Instead of asking for a pencil and paper, dad whipped out his fountain pen, one of the kind that you actually had to draw ink from a well, and wrote it all down in his unmistakable large print on the paper table clothe then tore it off and taped it to the wall.

As in every life and worthwhile endeavor there were of course a few rough spots.
Enough wrecked cars to enable General Motors to stay in business.
For sure, enough spilled milk to start a dairy.
Enough broken toys for Mattel to turn a profit through about 1968.
Enough broken hearts and disappointments to sustain a Dear Abby column.
The unbelievable tragedy of the death of babies and then of their first-born adult child.

Through it all, with help of the people here today, and many who have already left us, mom and dad got through it, remained strong and set a good example for the rest of us. And that is how we will get through this.

Dad was a complex individual. He could establish a quick rapport with children; ask any of the grand kids or his great grand son. He could talk to a teenager, a 20, 30, 40 or 50 year old as easily as he talked to those of his own generation. He was a patriot, a soldier, an airman, a businessman, an author, historian, artist, sportsman and sports enthusiast, master of ceremonies, gardener, mechanic, bicycle repairman, plumber, electrician, carpenter, mason, painter, paper hanger and has even written a 1,000 page manuscript on Ohio history. Yet if you could ask him today what he was proudest of, after his family and friends, he just might quip, “Well, I had a valid drivers license until the day I died by golly.”

Dad seemed to have one of those one-liners for every occasion:
If one of the kids called and asked what he and mom were up to, he would likely respond with, “Spending your inheritance.”

If I called and said, “Dad, this is Doug.” He’d either say, “Doug? Doug who?” or “Doug, how much is it going to cost me this time?”

I was watching him dig in the back yard once, he gave me that, “Why don’t you get off your duff and help me look.” Then he walked over, gave me the shovel and said, “Do you know what the nice thing about a shovel is, Doug? It will fit just about anybody’s hands.”

If you called recently and asked how he was doing you likely heard, “Hey, old age isn’t for sissies.”

In an 87year life as full and rich as dad’s was there are, of course, a million stories and memories. These were just a few from the perspective of John and Katie’s youngest. I’m sure the older kids, who blazed a trail wide and deep enough for me to manage to stay within for the most part, along with dad’s family and his friends all have their own stories of “barrowed” cars and beer, late dates, parties, Notre Dame football trips, Rose Bowl games, OSU Michigan games, weddings, 7:30 on a Saturday morning yard cleaning detail, Christmas eve trips downtown to see the Nationwide Building and Lazarus window and even setting the house on fire once. These stories will continue as long as dad lives in our memories.

But sadly, for this time and for this place, even though we’re not quite ready for him to go, I think the time has come to say goodbye so that dad may go to meet his beloved Katie, Johnine, Erin and all of the family and friends who are waiting for him. Thank you dad for the wisdom, for the inspiration, for the discipline and for the joy you brought to each of us.

We thank each of you for being with us today. We know at this time of the year your time is often your most valuable commodity and you have honored dad and us by spending some of it here today.

Oh, and one last thing, OK mom, the break's over. He’s on his way home to you.