Friday, March 27, 2009

Too many stories

There’s a funny line in the movie “Amadeus.” Mozart delivers a piece of music to his benefactor. Later Mozart asks the benefactor how he liked the music. The benefactor says he didn’t like it at all. When Mozart asks why, the benefactor idiotically says, “Too many notes. Yes, that's it. Too many notes”

I know how the guy felt. There are too many stories.

When thinking about the Dear Leader’s administration and the Demo-Dope Party, the phrases, “too many tax cheats,” “too many brain-dead Libs” and “too many weasels” come to mind.

The Dear Leader’s budget: Pick one. Too many dollars. Too many failed programs. Too many fraudulent recipients of other people’s money.

The Red River is rising due to too many snow flakes. The Dear Leader attributes too many snow flakes guessed warming. Sadly, that makes sense to Libs.

Tax Cheat Geithner’s call for more regulatory power: Too many failed unprofitable government enterprises now; the post office; Freddie; Fannie; Amtrak; etc. Rush Limbaugh asked a very good question yesterday, “Name one thing, that doesn’t involve the military, that you’d hire the government to do for you.” Can’t think of a thing. And it’s not because government does everything poorly, but you know it’ll cost 100 times what it’s worth by the time they are done. Which, I guess, does mean government does everything poorly.

Sec. State Clinton picks up where her ceatin’ old man left off with too many apologies to the world for America. Can’t wait ‘til Thunder Woman sits down with the Iranians and apologizes for slowing down their nuclear bomb…sorry…power plant. According to the madam, it’s America’s drug habit causing Mexico’s drug lord problem. Yeah, well that and selling drugs is the easiest way for anyone not connected to the Mexican government to make a living in that corrupt state. And it is our fault for not enforcing our immigration laws for the last 30 years. It’s our fault for not protecting our border by building a triple barrier fence, mined between each layer, electrified, then a 14’ deep ditch filled with toxic waste and then 15 foot wall with razors built in. So yeah, we’ll take the hit for that one.

Too many broken campaign promises. $1,000 middle class tax cut – gone. It was all smoke and mirrors anyway. Any amount of money you got or as the Dear Leader likes to say was “spread around” to you from others more creative and/or harder working than yourself would disappear in gas and other taxes.

Oh yeah, bring the troops home from Iraq within 16 months. Too many lies. First, not in 16 months. Second, for 50,000 plus troops not at all. Third, for the ones who do get out, unless they call Afghanistan “home”, they ain’t commin’ home. Reminds me of that trendy bumper sticker so many Libs loved to sport, “Support the troops. Bring them home.” I guess they’ll have a new one now, “Support the troops. Send them to Afghanistan.”

So yeah there’ too many scandals, too much double speak, too much Orwellian BS – Fat Jack the @ss Murtha gets an award for – get this – supporting Marines and Sailors. Huh? So if I call the Dear Leader a cold blooded murderer, I get some kind of award for support?

I gotta go on vacation. Yes I can feel the despair from both loyal readers - having to go without your daily Lex for a whole week – how will you cope? And please keep the vacation quiet. The Lex family gets the largest portion of their yearly income from military retirement pay – which is technically a government bailout I suppose. So if some Lib Madam Defarge gets wind of this trip, Lex’s name will be knitted into the Lib hate quilt along with AIG execs. Then I’ll have to face a slobbering Barny Frank leading an angry mob in my driveway Sunday when I get back from my vacation.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Lex on deficits

I just blew $4,000 bucks on my new Beowulf .50 cal. Now I have a deficit in my savings account and with Mrs. Lex concerning my judgment. Whatever that deficit, I will cut it in half next year when I blow just $2,000 bucks on a Colt model Le 6920 AR 15. So if I can just bite the bullet this year, I will be in good stead with the family regarding my deficit problem next year because I will have cut it in half.

Makes no sense does it. Not to people with brains. But alas, the one thing in shorter supply in Washington DC than a balanced budget is someone with a brain.

So now I’ve been running deficits for a few years – but I have a handsome armory. I’m deep in debt, but I’m the envy of all my beer drinking buds back on the swale. Uh Oh, I can’t pay the mortgage or even put food on the table. No problem I’ll go to the bank for a bailout.

Mr. Banker says, “Not so fast my friend. You already owe us more money than it appears you can pay back. I don’t think we’ll lend you any more money.” So I go down into the basement and set up a counterfeiting operation. I just print my own worthless money.

So, there’s America, the shining city on the hill and envy of the world. Then along comes a compassionate conservative who runs up $500 BILLION a year in deficits. Then along comes the Dear Leader who wants to triple that deficit, proving once and for all that Republi-Rats cannot not out spend Demo-Dopes. Uh OH, Uncle Sam needs to borrow some money.

The bank – China in this case - says, “Whoa there big guy. We don’t think you can back your existing debt let alone another 9 TRILLION in superfluous BS.” No problem, the government just hires another shift over at the government printing office and prints another TRILLION dollars of worthless money. Now I go to jail for printing worthless money, but the government's worthless money operation has the benefit of being legal.

Stand up; raise your hands above your head and shout HALLELUJAH! if you think you can get yourself out of an intractable debt problem - that you got yourself into by barrowing money you couldn’t pay back - by barrowing even more money that you cannot pay back.

Congratulations to those standing and shouting with hands raised! You’re qualified to be a member of congress! Now, the only thing worse than borrowing the money is to just print up a bunch of even more worthless money.

Last: Congress feigned outrage at the execs at AIG who got bonuses even though it was they who got AIG into this mess in the first place. Well, congress has gotten us into THIS mess. Until the budget is balanced, I think everyone in government - less the military and law enforcement – ought to be working for a dollar a year. Try that and watch the rats desert the sinking ship.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Ft. Wayne's own Pravda on the Maumee shamlessly toes the line for Dear Leader

Some left wing dope, no wait, that’s redundant. Some dope named Gary Copeland used the Dear Leader’s Ft. Wayne propaganda arm aka the Journal Gazette to spew hatred on a woman named Donna Volmerding. Volmerding’s crime? Well this woman had the temerity to question the Dear Leader’s judgment in putting a tax cheat in charge of the IRS. Gary the dope spent three paragraphs telling his lemming, think alike, walk in lock-step, Dear Leader zombies who populate the JG’s editorial board how stupid Volmerding was for thinking tax cheat Geithner was the “head” of the IRS. JG editorial dopes, being sort of the king of dopes - at least in Ft. Wayne, published dope Copeland’s letter. Lex, sent the JG this love note:

The core of any editorial page ought to be - NO ad hominem attacks. Yet this morning Gary Copeland devotes three paragraphs limited nearly exclusively to lampooning Donna Volmerding. The ONE time Copland strays into substance he gets it WRONG.

From the US Department of Treasury web site:

“Collecting taxes in a fair and consistent manner is a core mission of the Treasury Department. Treasury's priorities in tax administration are enforcing the nation's tax laws fairly and efficiently while balancing taxpayer service and education to promote voluntary compliance and reduce taxpayer burden.”

Uh, who is it who collects taxes in the US, Gary? Oh yeah, the IRS. And since collecting taxes “is a core mission of the Treasury”, Gary, can we suppose that the IRS works for the Department of Treasury, Gary? Why yes we can, Gary. The IRS is an agency within the Department of Treasury.

Now, Gary, this may boil down to the parsing of words you Libs love to engage in. You recall don’t you, Gary? Does this whole thing boil down to what the meaning of “is” is? Or what the meaning of “head” is?

Gary, tax cheat Geithner is Secretary of the Treasury. The IRS reports to the Secretary. Would that make the Secretary the head of the IRS or just the head of an organizational chart that includes the IRS?

Gary, please explain it to us. You know, something like, “The head of an organization is not really the head of the agencies under him but rather a, uh what's the word…?”

I know the JG will not print THIS letter. But you owe Ms. Volmerding an apology.

Happy Note:
Bishop D'Arcy (as a result of my letter one below I'm sure ;) condemned Notre Dame (or as the Griffin calls it Neutered Dame) for its choice of the Dear Leader as commencement speaker.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

What the....!?

An open letter to the Ft. Wayne - South Bend Bishop on the Dear Leader's selection as Notre Dame's commencement speaker:

Fort Wayne Chancery
1103 S. Calhoun Street
P.O. Box 390
Fort Wayne, Indiana 46801

March 24, 2009

Dear Bishop D’Arcy:

I see that the world’s most pre-eminent advocate for abortion and expansion of stem cell research has been invited to give the commencement address at Notre Dame. Did you and the university “leadership” miss this man’s recent actions to advance those hideous activities?

How are we to take seriously the church’s teachings on these matters? The church says it opposes these things then turns about and presents the bully pulpit of one of its most prestigious and well known universities to a person who advances them.

I’m sure this all makes perfect sense to the finely honed and open minds that populate your Chancery and the university board room, but to a great many of us who populate the pews of your churches it appears hypocritical and dangerous.

When is the church going to adopt the same approach on Sunday mornings? Father John will deliver a 20 minute sermon on the church’s teachings on giving to help the poor. Then Father John can introduce some Gordon Gekko type to spend 20 minutes telling us what a bunch of saps we are to be giving our hard earned money to the church. Frankly, the choice of Notre Dame’s commencement speaker makes it look as if we are saps.

Have you considered how the media will portray this commencement address? It will be portrayed as the church caving into the new government’s position on these issues. And why not? It appears that you are. It will be portrayed as mainstream Catholics being more in step with the new government’s position than with the Holy Father’s. And why not? No matter how many of us gather to protest the speech outside, the lemming media will loop endlessly the cheering and adoring crowd inside.

Sadly, I doubt that this decision can be reversed. You should oppose it in the strongest manner possible. Who will speak for us? Someone on the dais on graduation day should step to the mic, look the commencement speaker in the eye and condemn him in the strongest and most unambiguous way possible for his views on abortion and support for Mengele-like bioresearch. Who will speak for us? Sadly, I have little hope that anyone will.

Yours in Catholicism (for now),

Doug Schumick
Ft. Wayne, IN

Monday, March 23, 2009

Surprise! I'm not surprised.

OK, OK, OK, I get it! I should be mad as hell about some fat cats getting fatter via government bailout money. That makes sense. A failed business takes money from the government making Joe the taxpayer a share holder in a failed enterprise he has no desire being involved with. By the way Tim, Charlie, Tom et. al. you cannot be mad. You cheated and didn’t pay your taxes. So you cannot possibly be mad about where “your” taxes went.

Then said failed company takes said taxpayer money and pays $146,000 in bonuses to the exact same dopes who caused the company to fail in the first place. That has to make you madder than a midget trying to work a yoyo. It doesn’t.

This whole mess was entirely predictable. I read as much of the bailout and stimulus bills as anyone in congress – which is exactly 0 pages. As we used to say at the U.S. Army Staff College, the reading is only a problem if you do it.

So, none of the dopes we hired to run the country had the brains, time or curiosity to read the two bills consisting of 800 plus pages each of rules and regulations that are leading us to ruin. Wonderful.

If I knew these things were evil, chock full of pork, waste, fraud and unintended consequences, why shouldn’t the geniuses who do this for a living have been able to figure it out? I’m not surprised. So, I’m not mad. Apparently the weasels on Capitol Hill feigning outrage over the circumstance that they put into place have a much better opinion of themselves than the 12% approval rating the rest of us give them.

Two bills combined consisting of over 1,600 pages to give away money to people who shouldn’t be getting it in the first place. So lemme see, the US constitution has, until January this year, served as a road map for running the richest, most talented and powerful country in the history of the world for over two hundred years. Depending on how you set the margins and what size font you use, the original of that document runs between 11 and 12 pages.

So 11 or 12 pages to run an entire country for 200 years.

1,600 pages to hand out taxpayer money that will ruin the country.

You knew they were going to screw it up.

I knew they were going to screw it up.

Even they – well especially they – knew they were going to screw it up.

Now everyone, but Lex, is upset that they screwed it up.

And remember this. We’re going to give $900 million to Hamas terrorist. They’ll use the money to lob rockets into Israel. Congress will be shocked! Then we’ll give 100s of millions in military aide to Israel to fight the terrorists using our money to terrorize Israel. Congress ought to be able to get that bit idiocy done in less than 500 pages. But still, no one will read the bill.

No, I’m not mad. I don’t get mad when the sun rises in the east or the cat 5 hurricane I’ve been watching zero in on my city for five days finally hits and washes away the levies or when dopes act like dopes.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Hey all let's make fun of retards

America’s Dear Leader and Clown in Chief appeared on Leno last night. Wow, I already feel better about my portfolio tanking. And what a riot! After heaping praise on tax cheat Tim “You’re dong a heck of job Timmy” Geithner, the Dear Leader compared his bowling skills to, get this, kids in the Special Olympics. Hil-F%$King-larious!!! And this guy’s wasting his time being our Dear Leader when he could be making millions doing stand up.

I worked a Special Olympics once. I didn’t really want to at the time. I was afraid I’d say or do something stupid- or as the Dear Leader thinks funny. But it was a great experience. In world full of doped up multi-million dollar chest thumping athletes, it was nice to be around kids who were just happy to compete, cheered each other along and had fun. None of the parents got into fights and I, like every other volunteer, was thanked until I was embarrassed.

So the Dear Leader and Clown in Chief meets Morie the manager back stage after the show:

DL: Well Morie, uh, how do you uh, think it went?

MM: You killed ‘em kid. Next time we gotta get you a big rainbow wig and some clown shoes.

DL: Next time? Well uh, maybe, I uh ought to get back to my uh day job. You know, the uh Washington gig.

MM: Kid why in the hell would you want to get tied down doing something you know nuttin’ about? You’re comic natural.

DL: Uh, you really think so Morie?

MM: AB-SO-LUTE-LY!! Are you kiddin’? That joke about Tim Geithner doing a – how did you put it? – Oh yeah “outstanding job” even I couldn’t stop laughing.

Secret Sevice Agent: Mr. Dear Leader you have a call from Moscow.

DL: Hold on man. Tell him I’ll get back to him and get me my NCAA Brackets.

MM: Then there was that riff on retarded kids. My belly is still aching. Who doesn’t appreciate a good joke at the expense of retards? That ought to shut that Sarah Palin gal up. Next time let’s work in something about Alzheimer’s patients, 9-11 victims and war dead. It’ll kill.

Secret Service Agent: Sir, Kim Jung Il has launched missiles at Japan!

DL: Yeah, Yeah, get me the Oklahoma score so I can keep my bracket up to date.

The word DOPE just scratches the surface in describing this buffoon.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

It only gets worse

If you liked the bailout, stimulus and the latest pork laden 410 billion dollar budget bill, you’ll love these tidbits:

Nanny Pelosi thinks it’s “very patriotic” for illegal aliens to gather to listen to her ramble on and pander to them, but she thinks it’s un-American for immigration officials to enforce the laws SHE PASSED! Coming from anyone else, this would sound incredibly stupid. Coming from Nanny, it goes down as one of her more lucid moments.

While windbags in Washington get all wound around the axel about the $145 million AIG paid out as bonuses to the very people who flew the company into the ground and now refuse to kill themselves, Fannie and Freddie (the proximate cause of all this turmoil) plan to pay out millions to just four execs. And, none of the gasbags grilling “Heck of a job Liddy” yesterday have shown the slightest interest in recouping the 90 Million Franklin Raines ripped off from Fannie.

What happens when your organization is charged with voter fraud in more than a dozen states? A Justice Department probe? Nah. FBI raids on your offices? Nah. Public outrage? No, hell no. Investigative reporters pouring over every transaction and background investigations on the people serving on your Board? Media investigate - Puleeeez. Well, if it was a conservative group caught in fraud all of the above and much more. But, if you are ACORN, you get asked to provide canvassers for the 2010 census. Hey, what could wrong? Why worry about an organization that registered Mickey Mouse to vote…10,000 times…in every precinct in America? Hey the census is just the instrument that determines where the members of the House of Representatives will come from. It is just the means by which government welfare outlays are determined. No problem. I'm sure ACORN will count every one of Nanny Pelosi's "very patriotic Americans" 10 or 12 times each.

The very busy Dear Leader took time out from his comedy tour (he does his routine on Leno tonight) to make “his” March madness predictions. Turns out “his” predictions look eerily similar to computer picks made by Joel Sokol, a Georgia Tech professor. Sokol’s statistical model correctly selected the Final Four, championship game and winner of last year's tournament. This is very Bidenesque. The Dear Leader ripping off a computer nerd without so much as a hat tip. And why is the Dear Leader of the United States interested in this stuff? Seems to me he ought to keep his yap shut and support all 64 teams. Last and this is tricky. Isn’t it just a bit of racist stereotyping for ESPN to be portraying the first black Dear Leader as a basketball maven? This reminds of the time Michael Scott recruits Stanley - the only black guy in “The Office” – to be on his basketball team. No matter how many times Stanley tells Michael he can’t play and doesn’t give a wit about the game, Michael insists that Stanley must be able to play because he’s black. So the Dear Leader rips off some computer guy off and looks like a genius. I’m sure Slow Joe came up with this idea. I'm rooting the #16 against UNC.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

If you had to kill yourself after displaying poor judgment, Washington D.C. would be a ghost town

The only thing funnier than AIG duping the dopes in congress are the dopes’ reaction to being duped. Think Yosemite Sam’s reaction to being blown up by his own dynamite when Sam goes after Bugs Bunny. As he walks away all burnt, tattered and singed Sam mutters, “Dad blame rabbit.”

The brilliant minds in congress that set this whole thing up are now going to invest in an ACME AIG bonus recovery kit. The kit includes everything from unconstitutional taxes on the bonus money to urging AIG employees to kill themselves, which ironically would make it nigh on impossible to recover the money congress is after. I fired this off to Senator Idiot…uh…Grassley:

Senator Charlie, Chuck, Chas Grassley (I for Idiot) IA, called upon AIG employees who approved or took bonuses to commit hari kari. Good thinking Chuck. Hey looser, if we’re going to encourage people to kill themselves for bad judgment, let’s start with the criminal class that populates much of congress and Washington D.C.:

First, how about everyone in Washington who voted for or signed the TARP and/or the stimulus bill(s) without reading it/them kill themselves? I cannot think of a single measure that would benefit America more.

And let’s not outsource the method to the Japanese. Let’s do it the old fashion American way. Go get a large caliber handgun so that you could not possibly miss what passes for brains in D.C., put the gun to your head and pull the trigger. You Chuck, no doubt, will have to pull the trigger several times to hit the target. Please, don’t give up. Just keep pulling the trigger and reload if you must.

How about the Freddie and Fannie managers and their congressional lackeys? Shouldn’t they kill themselves? If AIG execs need to be dead, certainly Franklin Raines and Jim Johnson, Barney the pimp Frank and Chris really you have no idea how shameless I am Dodd should be required hrow themselves from the top of the Capitol Building?

And then there’s the REAL criminals in Washington shouldn’t they, at minimum, be required “to do the right thing”?

Ted Kennedy should have killed himself years ago on principle, but the there was that Mary Jo Kopechne thing.

Shouldn’t Bill Clinton have killed himself for being a perjurer?

Shouldn’t the Shrillda Beast be dead by now as well for aiding and abetting a perjurer?

Shouldn’t Slow Joe Biden have assumed room temperature after lifting lines from another man’s speech?

Shouldn’t Barney the whore house operator Frank be dead by now?

Alcee Hastings is an impeached FL judge serving in the house. Why should he be allowed to continue to deplete the oxygen supply?

Billy cold cash Jefferson has been indicted in a FBI sting, yet remains up right and voting on laws that govern the rest of us.

Then there is Demo-Dope Jimmy my wife’s a punching bag Moran whose wife once charged him with abuse. He has assaulted other members of Congress on the floor of the House (well good for him on that one) and is himself a former stockbroker whose judgment in trades is so bad he is broke from poor investments. He also assaulted a minor in some fracas. Jimmy claimed the minority Ute was trying to rob him.

Then there are the tax cheats that populate the Washington Class-less crowd Geithner, Daschel etc. Certainly they all need to be dead – right Chuck?

These are REAL criminals Charlie. Why shouldn’t they have to kill themselves?

In 2000 Capital Hill Blue was reporting this about congress:

* 29 members of Congress have been accused of spousal abuse.
* 7 have been arrested for fraud.
* 19 have been accused of writing bad checks.
* 117 have bankrupted at least two businesses.
* 3 have been arrested for assault.
* 71 have credit reports so bad they can't qualify for acredit card.
* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges.
* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting.
* 21 are current defendants in lawsuits.
* And in 1998 alone, 84 were stopped for drunk driving, but released after they claimed Congressional immunity.

WOW! Am I ever proud of MY congress now.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

TARP money wasted? Who'd have guessed?

EXTRA EXTRA, read all about it. Government goofs up TARP rules blames AIG for not following rules that don’t exist! Male prostitute whore house owner Frank outraged. Dear Leader blames Bush; says Demo-Dope appointed CEO Liddy who approved payments is doing a heck of a job. EXTRA EXTRA, read all about it.

If it weren’t so pathetic, or maybe because it is, this would be/is hilarious. Who said that there would be all kinds of waste, fraud and abuse associated with the massive bailout bill that nobody had read? Who said the haste and reckless manner in which the bill was passed would have all sorts of unintended consequences? Who said that there was not one shred of evidence that the US government would be able to efficiently and effectively oversee the kind of cash outlay contained in the bill? Who argued to make the money available but to trickle it out as needed over time? Yes dear readers, it was Lex.

Mark me down as one of only a handful of people in the US who are NOT outraged, surprised, upset or even mildly shocked that the government screwed this up. It was like watching a three year old with five scoops of ice cream piled one a top another on a cone walking into a room full of hungry dogs. You know the ice cream is going to end up on the floor being devoured by the dogs while the three year old cries and screams. You just don’t know which dog is going to knock the cone out of the little girl’s hand.

In their haste to do something…anything…right or wrong, congress forgot to write in any rules about how the government TARP money (wait that’s idiocy – government has no money) your money would be spent. Now the exact same dopes who foisted the bailout on us are outraged that some of the money is being used to pay bonuses to other dopes who wrecked AIG.

First, I feel more outrage every time a member of congress draws a pay check. Talk about money for nothing. Barney free parking at my whore house Frank wrecks the American economy costing us TRILLIONS and yet the lisping tub of lard is outraged over a couple of hundred million. Yeah, makes sense.

Next, hey it’s all about stimulus - right? Well those bonuses are bound to stimulate the economy somewhere. I’d as soon have some fat cat Wall St. dude throwing the money around in clubs in NY as some fat cat union boss funneling the money back into Demo-Dope campaign coffers after hijacking some “shovel ready” stimulus project for 8 times the actual cost.

As fraud goes, this ain’t much. It’s completely above board. It’s completely legal. If this is the kind of crap that is happening in plain sight, what kind of crap are the union thugs pulling in back rooms while in collusion with the Demo-Dopes?

This is not Bush’s fault. It is the wholly owned responsibility of the Dear Leader and his dope buddies in congress. This whole thing went down on their watch and was approved by the Dear Leader’s handpicked CEO of AIG. In his own Katrina moment of irony, the Dear Leader heaped praise on Liddy for doing a heck of a job while complaining about the bonuses Liddy approved. Huh? Reminds me of the, “You're doing heck of a job Brownie” comment Bush has been relentlessly lampooned over after Katrina.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Tripping down the road toward fascism

Dwight Eisenhower warned of something called the great Military-Industrial complex. I guess the concept of “the military” and industrial tyrants conspiring to rule the world or at least keep enough low-grade wars going to advance the interests of each is a spooky enough thing to lay awake worrying about. It’s the thing movies are made of. Think, Ironman, Spiderman and other movies like them, where the military gets sucked into producing some “ultimate weapon” only to have a slimy captain of industry or maniacal general use it for his own gain.

The trouble with the whole Military-Industrial complex conspiracy theory is that it falls apart under the weight of a true democratic and capitalistic society with competing political and business ideas. The Republicans could not hold the Military-Industrial complex together during what started out to be a wildly popular war. Demo-rats undermined the president, the troops and their generals at every step. The equipment that we went to war with, that made certain industries rich, is not the same equipment we are using 6 years later. The industrial complex has been infiltrated by new guys with better ideas for everything from body armor to armored cars.

On the military end, Rumsfeld and Franks, the architects of the greatest military advance of all time, gave way to Gates and Petraeus who produced a winning strategy for post invasion operational victory, in spite of cretin Demo-rats like Reid, Murtha, Durbin et al. So the Military-Industrial complex conspiracy theory fell apart on all fronts.

What’s really dangerous is a one party government; led by a figure that the media is afraid to question (not because they’ll be criticized for disagreeing with his policy but will simply be rejected as racists) and that government buying majority holdings in banks, manufactures, education and unions. That begins to look an awful lot like where we are headed. And that is fascism, my friends.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Kids! What are you going to do with a washed up politician’s kid these days?

Take six minutes and watch this then watch this. It’s hilarious. Well at least to me.

But wait there's more
And let’s take this opportunity to add to our list of Demo-Dope hypocrisies. The Dear Leader attached a signing statement to the 410 billion dollar earmark bill. A signing statement from the President usually means he disagrees with something in the bill and outlines what he will do about the disagreeable portions.

No big deal right. Well the Dear Leader railed against President Bush for using signing statement inferring that they were an end run around congress and unconstitutional.

Well if that’s what the Dear Leader thought back during the campaign, why is he now using an unconstitutional method – at least in his own cramped mind – to make his own end run around congress? “Well this is different,” whined the Pillsbury Dough Boy in a suite and Dear Leader mouth piece Bobby Gibbs.

Different how? Well this is us. That was them, I guess.

I'm John McCain's daughter so I must know something

Meghan McCain proves that the seed doesn’t fall from the tree. Her, “Let’s all be centrists and get along,” shtick has already worn thin. According to Meghan, the Republican Party should just knock a quarter of the spending off of all the Demo-Dope tax cheating waste and be happy. Try picking up a copy of A Choice not an Echo Meghan.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

The debate is over - science will put $ over truth

Consider that the Dear Leader said, “[it’s] about letting scientists ... do their jobs, free from manipulation or coercion. ... It is about ensuring that scientific data is never distorted or concealed to serve a political agenda - and that we would make scientific decisions based on facts, not ideology” when lifting the GOVERNMENT ban on embryonic stem cell research. Hmmm, maybe the best way to keep the politics out of science is to keep politicians and government money out of science.

But juxtapose the Dear leader’s position on stem cell research with AlGore’s position on global warming (19 degrees in Ft. Wayne, IN last night by the way). AlGore steadfastly refuses to debate scientist who dare disagree with him. Now think about that. A washed up political hack of no particular talent is deemed a more credible source on the subject of global warming than a MIT scientist.

And how does the pompous windbag AlGore win the global warming debate? He simply declares that “the debate is over.” I’m going to try that strategy with the Mrs. about the new .50 cal Beowulf rifle - cost $4,400 - I’ve had my eye on. “Look honey the debate is over. We’re getting the rifle.” The wife thinks about it for a second and rplies, "Oh the debate is over? I didn't know that. Let me go get the check book." Something tells me that's not how the real conversation is going to go.

So forget about the slippery slope of the government engineering a clone army of Sgt. Rock type soldiers. Never mind some Montgomery Burns type using the government’s research to bring off-spring into the world for the sole purpose of having a reservoir of matching spare body parts handy. Let’s just ask ourselves why the government can ignore science in the case of global warming but demand useless government funded research in the case of stem cell research?

It’s simple – ideology. Stem cell research is a cheapening of human life. How far behind can infanticide for undesirable kids and euthanasia for the sick be? Global warming is the government’s trump card to control more of lives – what we drive, eat, wear, how warm and cool we keep our homes nearly everything.

I predict that the government’s involvement in this will have the exact opposite of its intended effect. Instead of science seeking truth, science research will be seeking results that comport with funding. Can you imagine a scientist coming out with research that a botox injection into a woman’s head will reduce the woman’s IQ 10 points for every injection while Nanny Pelosi is Speaker. What are the chances that there will be ground breaking research that chubby lisping homosexuals are on average are 99.9% less likely to admit their own culpability in a housing meltdown scandal than the rest of us while Barney need a male prostitute? Frank is around?

Science will no longer be chasing the truth. It will be chasing government dollars.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Ho hum, more Demo-Dope hypocrisy

The fact that Demo-Dope hypocrisy is so common place that is no longer makes the news cycle and no one can be surprised by it no matter how blatant, is a bad thing. As a result, Demo-Dopes are an arrogant bunch and completely without shame.

Exhibit one: Here tax cheat Charlie Rangel tells a tax payer asking Rangel about his tax cheating ways to “mind your own damn business.” Arrogant? That statement is arrogant beyond belief. It is our business Charlie. You write the tax code. But you are either too stupid or too dishonest to follow it (you chose which). That bit of Washington insider corruption is John Q. Public’s business Charlie. Shameless? Sure it is. How would you react if caught in this predicament? Most of us would be apologetic. “Oh jeez, I really fouled up. Please forgive me and allow me to make payment in full. As a result of my mistakes I promise to look closely at our tax laws and try to simplify the code.” But these shameless arrogant bastards tell us to shut up and mind our own business. It’s like your wife walking in and catching you trying on her thong underwear and bras. Instead of saying, “Oh my, I guess I’d better get myself some counseling,” you scream at her, “get the hell out of here and mind your own damn business.” I think it is her legitimate business to know that her husband is a cross dresser – at best.

Exhibit two: Grandma Pelosi and the rest of the Demo-Dope leadership lambasted auto execs for flying private aircraft to Washington for their Congressional testimony. Never mind that time is the most precious commodity of people with great responsibility. Ask any mom with two or three kids running around the house. But now news has leaked out that Nanny Pelosi has been using the U.S. Air Force as her own Jet Blue.

See if these tidbits from Judicial Watch strike you as shameless arrogance:

In response to a series of requests for military aircraft, one Defense Department official wrote, "Any chance of politely querying [Pelosi's team] if they really intend to do all of these or are they just picking every weekend?...[T]here's no need to block every weekend 'just in case'..." The email also notes that Pelosi's office had, "a history of canceling many of their past requests."
One DOD official complained about the "hidden costs" associated with the speaker's last minute changes and cancellations. "We have...folks prepping the jets and crews driving in (not a short drive for some), cooking meals and preflighting the jets etc."

The documents include a discussion of House Ethics rules and Defense Department policies as they apply to the speaker's requests for staff, spouses and extended family to accompany her on military aircraft. In May 2008, for example, Pelosi requested that her husband join her on a Congressional Delegation (CODEL) into Iraq. The DOD explained to Pelosi that the agency has a written policy prohibiting spouses from joining CODEL's into combat zones.

Documents obtained from the U.S. Army include correspondence from Speaker Pelosi's office requesting an Army escort and three military planes to transport Pelosi and other members of Congress to Cleveland, Ohio, for the funeral services of the late Rep. Stephanie Tubbs Jones. Pelosi noted in her letter of August 22, 2008, that such a request, labeled "Operation Tribute" was an "exception to standard policy."

The documents also detail correspondence from intermediaries for Speaker Pelosi issuing demands for certain aircraft and expressing outrage when requested military planes were not available. "It is my understanding there are no G5s available for the House during the Memorial Day recess. This is totally unacceptable...The speaker will want to know where the planes are..." wrote Kay King, Director of the House Office of Interparliamentary Affairs. In a separate email, when told a certain type of aircraft would not be available, King writes, "This is not good news, and we will have some very disappointed folks, as well as a very upset [s]peaker."

During another email exchange DOD staff advised Kay King that one Pelosi military aircraft request could not be met because of "crew rest requirements" and offered to help secure commercial travel. Kay King responded: "We appreciate the efforts to help the codel [sic] fly commercially but you know the problem that creates with spouses. If we can find another way to assist with military assets, we would like to do that."

Exhibit last: After campaigning on and promising an end to earmark spending, the Dear Leader is about to sign a spending bill laden with earmarks. The Demo-Dope strategy is to blame all of the pork on…drum roll here…George Bush. Shameless arrogant hypocrisy? Sure it is. But who’s going to notice?

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Military service diminishes one's freedom according to Educators Publishing Service

We had another controversy here last night over Lex jr.’s studies. He comes home with his vocabulary book. Among the 15 words he is supposed to know is the word “diminish.” The book has the following question:

Which of the following would diminish one’s freedom?
a. Being held captive
b. Having one’s driver’s license taken away
c. Joining the Navy
d. Being released from prison

Mom and dad tell Lex jr. a and b are correct. Jr. informs us that the teacher said that there were three correct answers for that question. Huh? “d” is obviously out, so that leaves “c”. That can’t be. Oh yeah, jr. says that the teacher said there were three correct answers for question 2. So, fired this off to jr.’s teacher last night:

Dear Mrs. N____:

Wow, after serving 20 + years in the Department of the Navy, I never knew that my freedom had been diminished. To learn that fun fact, I had to read Question 2 in section 9C of Danny’s Wordly Wise book.

So let me see, during 20 years, I traveled around the world in both directions; I visited and served in 15-20 countries; I lived over seas in three different countries; I crossed our own country back and forth, up and down 6-8 times; I visited dozens of states; I attended countless professional schools and earned a masters degree all courtesy of the Marine Corps.

And I’m just now learning that my freedom was being diminished all along. Oh, woe is me. Dang, what was everyone else doing while the Department of the Navy had me shackled? Ya’all must have really been tearing it up. I guess any job requiring honor, courage and commitment these days would be looked upon by Educators Publishing Service as diminishing one’s freedom. We just called it duty.

Come to think of it, the only time I ever thought that my freedom was in danger of being diminished was when Al Gore tried to have my military absentee ballot thrown out in FL during the 2000 Presidential Election. But somehow I don't think that incident is what EPS had in mind when claiming "joining the Navy" diminishes one's freedom.

Sorry for all of the sarc. I just wanted to make the point. Seriously, if that question includes “joining the Navy” it is WRONG. Does the teacher’s guide include “c” as a correct answer? If so it should be thrown out, St V’s administration notified and the publisher contacted for a correction.


Sunday, March 08, 2009

Two weasels parse "a nation of cowards"

Uh oh, it turns out the attorney general who called us all cowards is not the Eric Holder that the Dear leader knew when he nominated the pamper weasel. The Dear leader has rebuked, sort of, Holder’s “cowards” remark saying, “If I had been advising my attorney general, we would have used different language.”

First, what the hell, “If I had been advising my attorney general,” If it ain’t the Dear Leader, exactly who is advising Holder? Rev Wight? Billy the bomb thrower Ayres? The Dear Leader’s mean “ain’t no way proud of the USA” wife? Who?

Next, what language would the Dear Leader have used? How would the give and take on “a nation of cowards” have played out?

EH: How does nation of cowards sound?

DL: Uh ehh, no. Uhh that’s not it. Umm err, how about craven hillbillies?

EH: No. You’ll just remind people of the bitter clingers, clinging to Bibles and guns.

DL: Uhh, ahh, yes you’re right. Don’t need that again. Eh, how about inbred trailer trash?

EH: No, I think the white racism problem is more wide-spread than the trailer parks.

DL: Uh , emm, yes your right , of course. How about something that sounds, uhh, more grand and, umm, reinforces my new regal position? How about something like, uhee, the realm is littered with gutless pusillanimous whites too weak and spineless to face their racism and pay the reparations due all us folks of color, something like that?

EH: BRILLIANT! I think you’ve nailed it!

Really though, where’s the middle ground on “a nation of cowards?”

Friday, March 06, 2009

Are you broke? Just use last year's money.

Karl Rove wrote this in his NY Times OpEd piece this morning:

“[The Dear Leader’s] justification [for passing the pork laden 410 billion dollar budget proposal] comes to us from the White House's budget director, Peter Orszag, who recently called the omnibus spending bill ‘last year's business.’"

These are supposedly the world’s smartest people. Well then, how can they be so dumb?

Picture a very successful man at Christmas. In lieu of presents, the man promises the family he’s going to take them on a very expensive once-in-a-lifetime vacation in the summer. Then in Feb. the man is laid off. By summer his 401K has tanked. He’s behind two months on the mortgage and the outlook is very bleak.

Still he continues with his plans to load the family up for the expensive vacation. When the wife says, “Hey, we’d better reconsider this. We’re broke.” The man replies, “Don’t worry honey, remember this is last year’s business. It won’t affect things this year.”

But hey, again, these are the smartest people in the world. What the hell do us shlubs who rely on common sense know? Using that exact same logic I’m going to plan to buy a yacht this year. Then when Jan 1, 2010 rolls around and I’m just as broke then as I am now, I’ll tell the bank, boat builder and the wife, “Hey that was last’s year’s business. Give me my boat!”

If GM, CITI and other troubled companies used this accounting method the CEO’s would be jailed, but for some reason it makes sense to Demo-Dopes in congress.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

What happened to the maintenance money over the last 40 years?

Wheph thank gawd! The stimulus money is finally beginning to flow and all is right with America again. There was some big deal about a bridge in MO that was going to be the first repaired with stimulus money.

Hey look, I’m as happy as the next guy that the bridge is going to be fixed before some family of four plummets to their deaths. But, here are a couple of rather obvious questions that I haven’t heard axed:

How did the bridge fall into disrepair in the first place?
Who is responsible for failing to perform the annual maintenance on the bridge for last 40 years?

Everyone who pumps a gallon of gas pays a small percentage of the price per gallon into the Federal Transportation Fund. That money is supposed to be used to maintain federal highways and bridges. States and counties also charge a few cents per gallon of gas to maintain their roads and bridges. That is why about 45 cents of every gallon gas goes to some tax. So why is the infrastructure falling apart?

Because it’s easier to get votes spending the highway money on new projects named after a local politician than slap a coat of paint on the underside of a bridge that no one sees and is impossible to name after yourself. When was the time you saw a sign on a bridge, “The Robert C. Byrd primer gray undercoat project?” That’s probably a bad example given the Klansman’s propensity to paint or chisel his name on every object that doesn’t move in WV.

The point is that the money to repair and maintain these structures should already be in the budget and should have been since they were completed. So now the very people who allowed the structures to fall into disrepair in the first place are going to be the ones collecting more money to do the job they didn’t do when they were supposed to do it.

Heh, what could go wrong with that?

ALERT!! ALERT!! Laugh out loud funny!! Iowahawk is BACK!

If you don’t do anything else today, read this in your best Thurston Howell III voice from Gilligan’s Island. You know the rich guy in the ascot, “Lovey dear, I feel a draft. Throw some more money on the fire.” Or, even better in the voice of Stewie from Family Guy.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Clearly unconstitutional

The local propaganda are of the Dema-Dope party (aka The Ft. Wayne Journal Gazette) published this glittering jewel of stupidity on Monday:

Few Americans would say that what the nation really needs is a larger Congress – except for residents of Washington, D.C.

Efforts to give the District of Columbia a vote in Congress have popped up over the years. But now both houses of Congress have voted to give D.C. a seat in the House of Representatives.
To keep an odd number – and, for political purposes, to add a Republican to balance out the certainty of a Democrat representing the district – Utah would get a fourth U.S. representative. The House would grow from 435 to 437.

But a Senate move to tie the extra seats with a heavy-handed amendment to strike down local Washington laws governing gun restrictions weighs down the bill mightily. And some members of Congress insist the U.S. Constitution allows only states to be represented.

So the debate will likely concern guns and legalities, not whether the nation wants two more lawmakers.

In my continuing effort to bring the light of truth into the darkness of the JG editorial boardroom, Lex fired this off yesterday:

Re: Representation or guns for D.C. in Monday’s JG

Does anyone on the JG editorial staff see the irony in referring to an amendment to protect the easily understandable language contained in the Second Amendment as “heavy-handed” while minimizing the un or extra-Constitutional nature of the actual bill?

I suppose Congress could use the “To exercise exclusive Legislation in all Cases whatsoever, over [the] District [of Columbia]” clause of Section 2 Article I, as a fig leaf for this action. But, how do they get around that pesky language about representatives being chosen by the “people of the several States?” Oh yeah, and what about the apportionment of representatives being according to the census? How does the bill get around that? How is it constitutional for the Congress to simply offer up another Representative to Utah as a quid pro quo for a D.C. representative?

There is a mechanism for changing the Constitution. All that needs to be done is for 66 Senators and 38 states to agree to amend the “heavy-handed” language of the Second Amendment and representation for the District. But, following the law is always way too hard for Liberals. It’s better and faster if they just make it up as they go along in Congress or in some courtroom.

Oh, and to answer the initial question, no. When you have a bunch like-minded people sitting around a table nodding knowing approval to one another, no one has the brains or courage to say, “Whoa, wait a minute. Do you know how stupid that sounds?”

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Are the "rich" laughing at us

Did I miss something or did the Dear Leader say that he was going to “pay” for the programs contained in his nearly 4 TRILLION dollar budget by taxing the rich – those making $250,000 or more. That’s what he said - right?

Well then why is congress considering a ten cent a gallon gas tax hike? How is the pump at my local Super Speedway supposed to know that I’m not rich when I go to fill up MY tank?

Maybe the IRS is going to issue each of us non-rich one of those super market scanner cards that the pump can read to identify us as non-rich and remove the tax. Maybe when the dialog box on the pump asks “Receipt?” we’re supposed to push “yes,” gather our monthly receipts and mail them to Washington like one of those mail-in rebate things at the Best Buy. Maybe we just take the receipts over to the Twin Eagle housing development, where all the rich folks live, knock on a door and demand direct payment from the people living in those big houses.

One thing I do know is that if the Dear Leader wants the tax burden to fall on the “rich,” he’d better figure out a way to reimburse us non-rich for this gas tax if it passes.

Then there’s the problem – actually it’s the same problem – with the nearly 700 BILLION dollar carbon tax contained in the Dear Leader’s budget. Hey, even us non-rich use energy. How are we going to get reimbursed for the $300 to $3,000 dollars a year each household will be paying for higher energy, higher food, higher everything as a result of that tax?

It would seem to this casual observer that the Dear Leader of hope-n-change is bamboozling us non-rich. I don’t think there will be a mail-in rebate coupon at the pump or with costs associated with this onerous carbon tax. It would seem to me that us non-rich are going to get screwed (i.e. taxed) right along with the real rich. And you just know those damned rich people are laughing their butts off at us non-rich for voting for the Dear Leader. How can that bit of schadenfreude be fair in this era of hope-n-change?

Oh speaking of schadenfreude, did you see where the global warming crowd was protesting during a March snow storm yesterday?

Monday, March 02, 2009

Iraq is now a mission for community organizers

The Dear leader has issued an edict to have all “combat troops” out of Iraq by August 31 2010. The 50,000 or so – count on it being closer to 60,000 – still in Iraq after August 31 are going to be what – non-combat troops I suppose?

This is idiocy of the highest order even for someone as idiotic as the Dear Leader. Here are some thoughts on this whole thing:

First, he’s 29 months later than he advocated while on the campaign. His position early on was to have the troops out by March 2008.

Second he should admit he was wrong about the surge and thank George Bush.

Third, is he really going to leave 50,000, essentially Peace Corp, support troops in Iraq without the protection of combat capable forces? No, I don’t think even he can be that stupid. Not to put too fine a point on it but he’s a liar when he says “all combat troops” will be out of Iraq by Aug 31 2009.

So how many combat troops will it take to ensure the safety of 50,000 “support troops?” Let’s say it’ll take two “brigades” of trigger pullers. They will not be called brigades because to call them what they are would expose the Dear Leader’s lie. Let’s put the mission on its head and call the “combat troops” who are supporting the non-combat troops “non-combat support troops who will engage in combat operations to support the support troops.” Got that?

So, let’s say it’ll take roughly the equivalent of two brigades (but let’s be clear these are not brigades) of non-combat support troops who will engage in combat operations to support the support troops. Let’s be optimistic and say that each non-brigade of non-combat support troops who will engage in combat to support the support troops will consist of about 3,000 non-combat soldiers who will engage in combat (actual number will be closer to 5,000).

So we’ve now got 6,000 of the 50,000 doing “non-combat” combat things. Historically, there is about a 10 to 1 ration between combat support and combat soldiers. Gee, that’ll put our troop force number in Iraq after Aug 31 at about 66,000.

Boy Wonder: “Holy faulty numbers Batman, who will be left to do the support mission?”

Batman: “Which support mission Robin? The non-combat support troops who will engage in combat to support the support troops’ mission? Or the actual non-combat support troops doing the actual support mission? And you look absolutely stunning in those tights!”

Boy Wonder: “Holy twist and turn Batman, this thing turns back on itself more often than an M.C. Escher print.”

Batman: “Indeed Robin, indeed. Now, let’s get back to the Batcave and practice our wrestling moves.”

To be sure, the Iraqi theater is what the military calls a “mature logistics theater.” As such the 10 to 1 tail may be much longer than required. Let be "hopeful" and say it’s 5 to 1. That’s 36,000 of a 50,000 man force at least partly given to non-combat support troops who will engage in combat operations to support the support troops. That leaves a meager 14,000 actual non-combat support troops to build roads, bridges and schools, restore power, repair the oil infrastructure and build political stability in a country the size of California.

We may need to send in a brigade or two of community organizers before it’s all over.