Monday, February 09, 2009

Republicans tarred with own brush

When Republicans said Democrats' massive reparations…ooops…uh stimulus bill made them look like hogs feeding at a trough of public money, Democrats hit the Sunday morning talk shows countering with a brilliant talking point, “I know you are but what am I?”

It’s hard to reason with logic as water tight as that, particularly when it’s true. Republicans were out there spending like a crack whore with a fresh welfare check on Saturday night enacting George Bush’s compassionate Conservative non-sense or as Lex named it big government conservatism, which isn’t conservative. It’s simply politicians being politicians. That’s why Lex remains suspicious of all pols.

If you or I walk into a pols office with a bag of money asking the pol to rezone something – 99 out of 100 times the pol takes the money, the zoning remains the same and life goes on. The one time in 100 you run across an honest pol (or a crooked one the FBI happens to be wiretapping), YOU get busted for trying to bribe a pol with your own money.

On the other hand, Pols from both parties go to Washington and use other people’s money to bribe or buy votes back in their own districts. “Well we gotta have a new interchange which is .0001 miles north and .0000001 miles south of two exiting interchanges on the federal highway runin’ through my district because the people of my district demand it. Well that, and my brother-in-law just bought the gas station on the corner there.”

So if you try to bribe a pol with your own money, you are a criminal. If the pol tries to bribe you with other people’s money, he just a shrewd pol.

Now for six of the last eight years it’s been the Republicans trying to buy votes – poorly I might add. For some reason Republicans always look like dopes when they try these things. I don’t know whether it’s because Republican voters instinctively dislike hypocrites or hypocrite Republican pols lack that certain saouv au fair of their Democrat counterparts to lie straight faced while arguing that it is they who are the victim of any self-inflicted spending or tax scandal.

It doesn’t’ matter. It doesn’t matter that by comparison spineless Republicans tried to get an 8 foot rowboat for their district while Democrats are now trying get the Queen Mary for theirs. Pork is pork after all, ask any Muslim if it matters if it’s a pork loin or pork rind.

Now the spineless dopes who tried to bring home a rowboat and a bag for pork rinds for their district are being tarred with the same brush that they want to use on Dems who will bring home the Queen Mary and the whole damn hog their districts.

Three lessons for Republican pols:
- One, if you are going to abandon your principles, do it for something big.
- Two, no matter how big it is, Democrats will double it because they have no principles to begin with.
- Three, don’t abandon your principles.

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