Thursday, January 12, 2006

Ted Kennedy: Dems' moral beacon

It couldda been funnier but only by a little bit. I was busy with scouts and a wood project yesterday, so I only caught a bit of the hearings. I did see Senator Teddy, I could have been president if Mary Jo had just figured out how to get out of that damned car, Kennedy badgering Alito on why he didn’t recuse himself in the Vanguard case after telling fat Teddy he would. Alito explained that he’d gone far beyond the ethical standards and besides Alito only promised dead head Ted to recuse himself during the “initial” period of service. The Vanguard case came up 12 years into Alito’s service.

So Ted dawned his swim mask and snorkel and went after Alito with the kind of tenacity that, had it been present at Chappaquiddick the night he drove off the bridge in a drunken stupor, might have saved young Mary Jo. “What is the initial period of service judge, X years (XX months)?” Fill in any possible combination of years and months, because shouting with all of the grace of Vince McMahon at a WWE Smackdown event, Teddy, I should have only had one bottle of scotch, Kennedy tried them all. Come on senator, I mean after all, nobody drowned in all of this. Alito’s never got flustered. He quietly maintained the reasonable position that whatever the “initial period” was, it expired long before the 12 year mark.

Ignoring my college speech teachers who warned against the cheesy practice of using, “the dictionary defines xxxx as follows”, American Heritage dictionary defines “initial” as follows: "Of, relating to, or occurring at the beginning; first: took the initial step toward peace." I suppose if you’re discussing, the history of the world, evolution, Islamic terrorism against the west, the 300 Year’s War or the Bengals’ drive for a Superbowl Championship, 12 years might constitute the initial period. For just about everything that touches our daily lives, the “initial period” has about the same half life as a gallon of milk. Ted, if I’d only taken the convertible I’d be president, Kennedy looked like a dope. In other words, he was totally in character.

No comments: