Saturday, August 05, 2006

Mel should seek the Democrat nomination

A hundred years ago Mel Gibson got a DUI and made some dopey statements about Jews. He’s been in the news every night since. OK I get it. If I were Mel, I’d have waited ten days before I said anything. Then I’d take the podium and announce my candidacy for the Democrat presidential nomination.

“Ladies and gentlemen, as you know ten days ago I was arrested for DUI. During that arrest I made some anti-Semitic remarks. I think the confluence of these two facts, along with the fact that there are photos being circulated of me with two women, neither of whom is my wife, makes me uniquely qualified to seek the Democrat nomination for president.

“First, if you recall, Teddy Kennedy, in a drunken stupor, drown a young woman in the backseat of his car in 1969. He apologized, and went on to seek the Democrat nomination against a sitting president of his own party. Not a peep since from the MSM. So being a drunk doesn’t necessarily disqualify one from seeking the biggest prize in Democrat politics.

“Then there are the Jew remarks. Perennial candidate Jessie Jackson made his famous ‘hymie-town’ remark and fathered an illegitimate child while still being considered a serious Democrat candidate. That is until Al Sharpton took his place in 2004. Sharpton is perhaps the most qualified candidate in Democrat politics. Here’s a quick look at his resume from Jeff Jacoby:

“1987: Sharpton spreads the incendiary Tawana Brawley hoax, insisting heatedly
that a 15-year-old black girl was abducted, raped, and smeared with feces by a
group of white men. He singles out Steve Pagones, a young
prosecutor. Pagones is wholly innocent -- the crime never occurred -- but
Sharpton taunts him: ‘If we're lying, sue us, so we can . . . prove you did
it.’ Pagones does sue, and eventually wins a $345,000 verdict for
defamation. To this day, Sharpton refuses to recant his unspeakable
slander or to apologize for his role in the odious affair.

“1991: A
Hasidic Jewish driver in Brooklyn's Crown Heights section accidentally kills
Gavin Cato, a 7-year-old black child, and anti-Semitic riots erupt.
Sharpton races to pour gasoline on the fire. At Gavin's funeral he rails
against the ‘diamond merchants’ -- code for Jews -- with ‘the blood of innocent
babies’ on their hands. He mobilizes hundreds of demonstrators to march
through the Jewish neighborhood, chanting, ‘No justice, no peace.’ A
rabbinical student, Yankel Rosenbaum, is surrounded by a mob shouting ‘Kill the
Jews!’ and stabbed to death.

‘1995: When the United House of Prayer, a large black landlord in Harlem, raises the rent on Freddy's Fashion Mart, Freddy's white Jewish owner is forced to raise the rent on his subtenant,
a black-owned music store. A landlord-tenant dispute ensues; Sharpton uses it to incite racial hatred. ‘We will not stand by,’ he warns malignantly, ‘and allow them to move this brother so that some white interloper can expand his business.’ Sharpton's National Action Network sets up picket lines; customers going into Freddy's are spat on and cursed as ‘traitors’ and ‘Uncle
Toms.’ Some protesters shout, ‘Burn down the Jew store!’ and simulate striking a match. ‘We're going to see that this cracker suffers,’ says Sharpton's colleague Morris Powell. On Dec. 8, one of the protesters bursts into Freddy's, shoots four employees point-blank, then sets the store on
fire. Seven employees die in the inferno.


“Last, well the women who are not my wife. The greatest hero in Democrat politics today is a serial womanizer, an accused rapist and groper. So these phot0s have to be a plus in Democrat circles.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I have scored the trifecta in Democrat politics, drunk, anti-semite, caught in the company of women not my wife. Now as a conservative, or at least what passes for a conservative in these parts, I know that I have absolutely no chance of apologizing and moving on – ask Trent Lott. But as a Democrat presidential candidate I know the whole thing will swept under the rug. So get ready media – start sweeping, because I’m running. Thank you.”

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