Friday, December 07, 2012

BITOA: Bourbon is the only answer

In a conversation some time back, a friend told me he though that the election might have been stolen through voter fraud. When he asked me what I thought of his conspiracy theory, I told him, “Hell, I hope it was stolen. I don’t want to believe the country is populated by a majority of people stupid enough to vote for this dope…twice.” The evidence is quickly mounting that America is, in fact, populated by a majority of people stupid enough to vote for the dope we’ve come to know and love as Little Barry.


Take this piece on my beloved Marine Corps (no doubt soon to be Corpse). Marines are now including training on meditation in pre-deployment work ups. Marines are encouraged to sit in silence fixing their attention on a spot on the floor between their feet. It’s soooooo relaxing.

I know exactly how to handle such mumbo jumbo. Our uniform instructor – yeah we had one – at The Basic School gave short shrift to the riding crop. Yeah, riding crops were still an optional uniform item. There was the short stick covered in black patton leather with a wrist loop at one end projected on to the screen in Classroom A. The instructors only comment before moving on was, “Carry one if you need one.” So my advice to my Marines on meditation training would be to attend it if you need it.

If you wanted to sabotage the entire program, you’d report that many Marines are using the “training” to engage in silent prayer during their meditation time. All hell would break loose. There would be investigations out the whazoo. Perpetrators would be tried, found guilty and thrown in the brig before murdering SOB Nidal Hassan had to shave his beard.

But this is what we’re up against. And who do we have leading us against this assault on all we hold dear? Blubbering cry baby John Boehner. There is not one person on our side who will tell the American people straight up, “Little Barry is a liar. He won the election. So we gave him all he wanted and now, like a spoiled brat, he wants more. Little Barry, you are fond of saying ‘you won.’ Well, guess what, we all won elections as well. We represent a constituency that represents nearly half of the American people. The ball is in your court. We are done negotiating against ourselves. Put your cuts on the table Thelma or you and Louise (aka Harry the roach Reid) can take the country over the cliff. Oh and by the way, HELL NO, you will not be able to unilaterally raise the debt ceiling. Grow up and govern.”

Ha, never happen. Instead it’s all, “Yes your @$$holiness. Whatever you say your @$$holiness. No your @44holiness. We are not worthy to stand in your presence, so we prostrate ourselves in your honor.”

What are you going to do? For now, buy a bottle of good bourbon. Have a drink in the hot tub while gazing at the stars with your loyal hound nearby. Keep your guns clean, knives sharp and plenty of food, water and ammo in the cellar.

On happier note, the Army-Navy game is this Sat. GO NAVY. Sure the Navy is a mess, but it’s our Navy and it’s still the best damn Navy in the world.

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