Saturday, September 10, 2005

News contribute to disaster

When a hurricane is spotted, news agencies rush to the scene and send the dopiest among them to go stand in the wind and the rain, tape rolling, and shouting into the microphone,

“This is horrendous Betsy Lou, only a complete idiot, a moron, a dolt completely void of any brain activity whatever would not have heeded the mayor’s and governor’s plea to evacuate. If you haven’t gotten out we can only assume that that you’re brain dead or a gang member waiting to loot in the aftermath. Back to you Betsy Lou.”

“So…Ted Squarejaw which are you?”

“Excuse me, Betsy Lou, the wind and water are so strong and loud not only has it messed my hair but I can’t hear you.”

“TED WHICH ARE YOU? BRAIN DEAD OR A LOOTING GANG MEMBER!”

“Why Betsy Lou, I’m a handsome and brave member of the elite media with a deep voice and great hair trying to make a name for myself by warning people to get out of the killer storm.”

“Ted it’s 2005. We have TV, radio and Internet. You can warn people in New Orleans from New York these days. Ted - Squarehead - you’re one of the idiots that you so accurately described. Why don’t you set up a camera on a roof somewhere and get the hell out of the storm that you claim is soooooo dangerous. By your idiocy you are actually demonstrating to people that they might be able to ride out the storm.”

“Ahh, Betsy Lou you’re breaking up. I didn’t get all of that. Something about handsome newsman braves storm to bring pictures to an eager aaaaggghgghgahhgaa Betsy Lou I’ve just been struck by a flying…aah”

“There you have it America. The gene pool has just been cleansed of another moron and America is better off.”

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