Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Bond's knee a mask for juice use

Barry Bonds has come up lame – his knee that is not his bovine excrement explanations about his steroid use. This is useful in that Barry will now have the perfect excuse, absent his juice, to become the incredible shrinking homerun king.

Last week I watched a pathetic and weepy Mark McGuire at a congressional hearing. At the time Mr. McGuire was smashing baseballs out of ball parks all across America, I thought he was great. Then the andro controversy was exposed. At the time andro was not a banned substance, so I thought what the hell, no worse than taking an aspirin - right. Besides I rationalized, he still has to put the bat on the ball. Then andro was banned and it now appears that andro might have been used to mask the use of illegal steroids. So my opinion of Mr. McGuire has been on a steady decline since his historic 62nd homerun.

It fell through the floor after his appearance before the congress. Instead of stepping up to the plate, so to speak, and admitting what he did – whatever that was – Mr. McGuire wept and took the 5th. What a pathetic figure. I hope my nephews were able to sell their McGuire rookie cards before the big crybaby showed up for his congressional hearing.

Speaking of rookie cards, any doubts that these guys are doing something unnatural to their bodies can be quickly erased by comparing their rookie cards to what they look like now. Then compare rookie cards of former greats like Mickey Mantle, Joe DiMaggio, Johnny Bench etc to their later cards. The difference cannot be explained away by modern weight training methods.

This is more than an issue about someone who wants to destroy themselves with drugs, illegal or otherwise. If Gorgeous George wants to pump himself up on drugs to impress the vacuous chicks on muscle beach, who cares? But these guys are cheating fans, teammates and the baseball record book. Goofy fans like Lex are duped into rooting for guys chasing records only to find out that they are cheaters. They cheat their teammates by denying them playing time and making it impossible for them to compete without engaging in the same dishonest behavior. They cheat the record book by claiming that their achievements are due to their God-given talent rather than chemicals they injected into their bodies.

however, there shouldn’t be any asterisks added to baseball’s record book. There should be an entirely new section added for the Bud Selig era of Major League Baseball. Put all the juicers in what can be called the “This Bud’s for you” section of the record book.

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