Saturday, April 09, 2005

Lex, The Griffin and Jane Fonda

Except for piss on Jane Fonda urinal screens, still popular in many US military Officers' Clubs and NASCAR men’s rooms, I pretty much ignore the treasonous bit…uh woman. When the Ho Chi Min Braves were ripping the National League, I did root for the American League in World Series, yes even the Yankees. Fonda’s most recent mea culpa for her treason in North Vietnam comes just in time to bolster book sales of what no doubt is a woe-is-me piece from a pretty, pampered, self-indulgent and clueless liberal. She says she was young and impressionable. Well so were the Americans dying in Vietnam. Now she offers a flip “so sorry” as if that’s that. That’s sort of like the Steve Martin, “Well Excuuuuuse me”, bit on Saturday Night Live. Sometimes “sorry” doesn’t cut it. You can’t say, “Look, how many times do I have to say, ‘I’m soooorrrrry’ for killing your dad by my depraved indifference and treason. Let’s just forget about the whole thing and ‘move on’. By the way, I have a new book out about how rough and interesting my life has been. Wanna buy one?” The Griffin has a great idea about how Jane’s fortune including any profit from her tome ought to be spent. The Griffin sends:

“Okay, we all make mistakes. Ask the Dixie Chicks. JF is now saying she should have never have manned a N.Vietnamese anti-aircraft gun and otherwise cavorted with enemies of the U.S. Oh, and the POW's that smuggled messages to her which she later turned over to their captors so they could receive more torture....sorry about that too. Oh yea, allowing the NVA to use her for propaganda that helped keep NVA troops well motivated...well please forgive her for that too.

“Well I guess we can tell those last 10,000 American GI's that died in SE Asia..sorry about that. The North Vietnamese were ready to give it up. They had their butts kicked in their TET offensive in Jan 69' but the media was able to portray this as a US defeat, public opinion was growing anti-war but the vast majority of Americans wanted to see it through, and the N.Vietnamese decided to recommit themselves to continuing the war.

“I had three cousins wounded in Vietnam. We all knew troopers who did not make it back. So when Msssss. Fonda says she is ‘sorry’ that her actions instilled more fighting spirit in an army trying to and succeeding in killing Americans, then I say tell the families of those who came back in body bags. Go find a few who lost limbs or suffered some trauma as a result of combat and tell them. But to really PROVE your sincerity, take 3/4's of your total assets (Henry Fonda's and Ted Turner's) and give it to those you helped to injure. Don't tell me you made a mistake, go do your best to make it right. If you can travel to a jungle half way around the world to comfort our enemies, then surly you can drive an hour (or be driven) to a V.A. Hospital to hand out some checks to some young guys recently wounded in Iraq/Afgan. They probably will not even know who you are, so they’d probably cash your check.

“The death of the pope reminds us to be considerate and forgiving of everyone. But to go on TV and say ‘I'm sorry’ will not cut it Janey. Where is the ‘beef’? My eyes are not welling up yet baby. Do the right thing or be accused of just ‘spouting off’....again!”

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