Barbers, Skins and the World Cup

Barber shops

 

 

A while back Lex traced America’s decline to the blow dryer and the near death of American barber shops in favor of styling salons.  Men of my generation and older got the point.  Metrosexual millennial King SFB loving Pajama Boys (as if any such creature would read this page) didn’t.  Here’s another take on the same theme.

Redskins

In an effort to cut funds from the Washington Redskins organization, the paten office revoked the Redskins paten because “it is offensive.” The idea of trademark protection is to limit unauthorized use of the trademark.  It restricts any Tom, Dick or Harry from slapping the trademarked material on things and selling them or using it to promote unauthorized activities. 

Lex:  So riddle me this Batman, if the Redskin’s logo is so offensive, why in the world would anyone think lifting the restriction on its use would be good thing.  Essentially what has been done is to give everyone the right sell the offensive material.  Isn’t that going to lead more of the offensive material being produced and sold than ever?

Pajama Boy:  Aah yes, but Redskins owner Dan Snyder will not profit from the enterprise of hawking the offensive material.

Lex:  So it’s not the logo that’s offensive?  It’s Dan Snyder profiting from it…right?

Pajama Boy:  Well no.  Both are offensive.

Lex:  So having the market flooded with cheap knock offs of offensive material is ok as long as Dan Snyder doesn’t get a nickel of the profit?

Pajama Boy:  Well yes.  This will hurt Dan Snyder to point he’ll have to change the name.

Lex:  Really?  The Redskins are worth 2 BILLION dollars.  Dan Snyder owns them, which means he is worth considerably more.  So you seriously believe allowing every Redskins fan access to as much Redskins merchandize as they want at a reduced cost is going to hurt Snyder?

Pajama Boy:  Well yes, because the more popular the team becomes the more pressure there will be on Snyder to change the…Wait.  Damn.

 

Oh, Harry the roach Reid is all for the federal government taking Snyder's property if it forces Snyder to change the name of the team.  Some bright reporter ought to ask, "Uh, Senator Roach, you've been in Caligula D.C. for what, 200 years, when did you first become offended by the Redskins name?

Get your official Redskins gear here, while you can.

 

I purchased this number

 

The World Cup Stream of thought

I am told these are the greatest athletes in the world.  As proof, I’m instructed, “try running like they do for 90 minutes.”  Fine they can run, but if I wanted to watch men run, I’d go to a track meet or out to the jogging path at the Y.

The best part of soccer is the flops.  You know, where a guy is running up the field full steam and is struck by a monarch butterfly and instantly falls to the turf, or as they call it “the pitch”, grasping an ankle writhing in pain.  The team Dr. rushes onto field little black bag in hand to tend to the injured warrior.  After about a minute the fallen player is up right taking a few tentative steps limping on the exact opposite leg he grasped as he hit the, ah, pitch.  In 90 seconds he is again at full speed.

So what’s in the Dr.’s little black bag?  Is it one of those magic pens Dr. McCoy (Bones) used on Star Trek.  A guy would come in with a huge gash on his arm and Bones would wave the pen over it and it would heal right before our eyes.  So why not just give one of those pens to everyone and get rid of Bones?  And instead of, “Damn it Jim I’m only a doctor.”  Shouldn’t Bones’ signature line have been, “Damn it Jim I’m only the guy with the magic pen.”  That and why the Federation was never able to develop their own cloaking device are imponderables.  The world wonders.

The Cameroon Vs. Croatia match was on in the bar during dinner last night.  (No.  They serve food at the bar you know.)  Anyhoo, I saw this bit of action.  It was replayed a dozen times and I watched it on AlGore's interweb several times as well.  I swear the Cameroon guy whiffs, but down goes Croatia. Down goes Croatia.  Down goes Croatia.  A little Howard Cosell there.

So I figure the Cameroon guy must have nicked or at least brushed the Croatia guy’s jersey.  Anyway, the Cameroon guy was booted, or as they say “sent off.” But I swear I’ve seen harder hits during a synchronized swimming competition.

Then there are the unbearable soccer snobs.  They come into the bar all sophisticated looking wearing a jersey from another country.  American soccer apparently isn’t good enough for these doofs.  The only exception to this is the guy who bought the jersey because the colors matched the colors of his favorite American sports team. 

If you like soccer, fine.  I agree with the commentator who said, I’m all for anything that makes drinking in the middle of the afternoon acceptable.

The counter to the soccer snob is the soccer hater.  Geez of all the things in this world to hate soccer isn’t one of them.

Please don’t tell me that America should dump American football in favor of soccer.  That’s as foolish as saying homosexual marriage is the same as traditional marriage.

So in about 2 years we’ll all be playing and watching soccer.  Failure to do so could result in job loss and social shunning.

 

Hey the headline is “stream of thought.”  So if it pops in, it gets typed down.  That’s what stream of thought means.