Nothing is funny

Marines are funny people.  No!  Strike that.  Marines are hilarious people.  We were on a week long field shoot one time when the “I’ll hit you so hard, when you wake up….” game started.  I think one Gunnery Sergeant Dombrowski got it started during a formation when he light-heartedly told a certain Lance Corporal that if he did straighten out the Gunny would hit him so hard he’d be out for so long that when he finally came to he’d find out he’d been passed over for Sergeant Major.  Hint:  It takes a looooooong time for a Lance Corporal to rise to the rank of Sergeant Major.

So it took off from there.  I’ll hit you so hard you’ll think your wife is good looking.  I’ll hit you so hard you’ll think the Cubs won the World Series.  I’ll hit you so hard you’ll think you’re making good money.  I’ll hit you so hard you’ll WANT to eat at the chow hall.  And on, and on, and on.

Then there was this one that brought the house down.  Jones says to Smith: “Smith, I’ll hit you so hard when you come to you’ll want to f*&k men.”  Smith without missing a beat replies:  “Yeah Jones, well I’ll hit you so hard when YOU come to you’ll want to f&5K women.”  It doesn’t look so funny when you type it out.  But trust me, in the moment, it was a gut wrenching belly laugh.  Sadly, in today’s Marine Corps some puke diversity officer would probably have both Smith and Jones courts martialed for their failure to conform to Commandant’s letter on tolerance and diversity.

Even in today’s hyper sensitive world, I see not one thing wrong with Smith and Jones’s exchange.  That demonstrates what a Neanderthal Lex is.  The exchange is an age old comic device whereby someone’s well known preferences are swapped for the exact opposite.  They make movies about these things.  But unless you are ribbing Christians you are likely to run afoul of the homo police, religion of peace police, or the more generic speech police.

AF Bro once told me, “It doesn’t matter how insensitive something is as long as it’s funny.”   That is totally out the window.  No one has a sense of humor anymore.  We have become a totally humorless bunch walking on eggshells for fear of offending someone.  There was a time when the Poles knew all the Pollock jokes, Irish knew all the Irish joke and the Catholics knew all the Catholic jokes.  Now everyone’s too offended to laugh at a good joke.

But if you really want to PO someone try what Phil Robertson did - aka speak the truth.  There is no simply no defense for that these days.  You can’t even say, “Hey I was just joking.  10,000 apologies and I’ve signed myself in for alcohol rehab and sensitivity re-education.”  We have become Animal Farm where all the animals are equal, only some are more equal than others.  Blacks, Islamist and homosexuals have militant thought and speech police patrolling the net looking for anything, no matter how benign, that can be turned into a spiked club with which to beat the offender and intimidate anyone else from speaking his mind.  And as always truth is no defense.

Hey, did you hear the one about the black guy, the Jew and the Priest on a raft…naaa forget it.  It’s not worth it.

Hey merry Christmas to all.  This video went viral a year ago thought you might enjoy it again.