Tuesday, August 08, 2017

Lex's fashion tips

Re the headline:  I don't have any.

Lex once posted that the decline of America could be traced to the invention of the hand held blow drier which in turn converted the manly barber shop, a sanctuary for men, into AC/DC styling salons.  Try to find a barber shop where you walk into a shop with 2-3 chair all staffed by men and men sitting waiting to get their hair cut.  That Rockwell painting, once a common picture of America, is now as rare as hen’s teeth limited to small towns.

Well never think that bad news cannot get worse.  Men are now buying cosmetics at record levels.  One male buying cosmetics would have been a record in my youth.  In this brave new world where sex and gender are fluid, even though they are not, apparently males are watching Pirates of the Caribbean and have fallen in love with the Johnny Depp look from that film. 

This is crazy.  One of the greatest things about being a man is watching the wife or girlfriend take an hour or more to get ready to go out, the whole time carping at the man, “Are you going to get ready?” Then breezing in to the bathroom to shower, shave, comb his hair and throw on a suit all in about 10 minutes and still have time to fix a sandwich while the woman finishes up.  What self-respecting man wants to mess with eye liner, blush and hair styling?  It’s crazy.  BUT, like I said, it’s a brave new world.

Maybe since new age men can’t change a flat tire or fix the leaky sink or nail two 2 X 4s together or start a chainsaw anymore, they have plenty of time to preen.  No matter how popular this trend may become, I cannot see me brushing on a base to hide the many flaws in my otherwise roguishly handsome face – referring to my many flaws as “roguishly handsome” is always a good laugh line for Ms. Lex.  For men, I think there are fairly bold lines between slovenly and neat and between neat and effeminate.  My goal is to get just over the slovenly line into the roguishly handsome neat column.  

Neat is a moving target these days.  The trend is toward "NEW " jeans that are dirty and have “designer” holes in them and that recipe somehow makes the jeans cost extra.  My advice is if that particular look happens to be your “style,” shop at the Goodwill. You'll save money.

I dunno.  When he sees me dressed for some event, Lex Jr. sometimes asks me, “Just how many stops back did you get off the fashion train?”  My pat answer is always, “To have gotten off the fashion train, you’d have to have, at one time, been on the fashion train.”   

So yeah, for sure, this all a mystery to me.  Men’s make up, hair styling, clothes, fluid gender and sex roles???  I cannot cope with these social insanities.  But, if you question any of it you are, of course, a racist hater fascist. 

I dunno what to make of it except to repeat, it’s a brave new world, and it calls for another pallet of ammo and concertina wire. 


The Griffin said...

Thank goodness football beginning. We need a brutal and manly sport to root for where they wear badass eye black, no lipstick, Men with make up is too weird. Men should wear stich es to sew up the chainsaw accidents, casts, splints, and leather gloves. And of course anything camo. The Griffin.

Lex E. Libertas said...

Pink in Oct?