Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Commencement speeches clichés


It’s that time of the year – commencement.  So we are bombarded with all manner of lefty lib commencement speakers trashing America while focusing their speech on themselves rather the graduates.  Shrillda the Hutt spent more time talking about herself - whining about being a dull incompetent candidate and of course blaming the Russians for azzwhippin’.   Of course the lefty libs loved her whiny rant.

So what’s Lex’s advice?  Self-evaluation and brutal honesty about your own potential.  Take on all of the graduation clichés.  Like:

“You can be whatever you want to be!” No.  You can’t.  I want to be an NFL linebacker.  Ain’t never going to happen. Replace that fake line with, introspection is a life-long requirement.  Evaluate your strengths and weaknesses.  Set your goals accordingly. You cannot be whatever you want to be.

“Be persistent.  Webster’s dictionary defines persistence as…”  First, your idea of “persistence” can be considered stalking by other people.  Greg Gutfeld noted that on the Five the other day which gave rise to this post.  Next, you’re graduates.  For crying out loud you should know what the word “persistent” means.  If you don’t, go to the purser’s office and demand a full refund. At some point see #1 and move on.  


“Never give up.”  Reference #1. If you’re still pursing your goal of being an NFL linebacker at age 62, you’re wasting valuable time and energy. Give up.  Move on.

“This is not the end but the beginning.”  Unless you expect mom and dad to continue to the foot the bill the rest of your lives, this absolutely is the end of one phase of your life. Go get a job.   And if this is your “beginning” you are woefully under prepared to go forward. Your beginning should have been somewhere during your sophomore year in high school.   If this is your beginning, do what I did. Join the Marine Corps.  They will get you focused.

“You are the best and brightest.” That notion applies to about 10% of you.  10% of you are not even close to being the “best and brightest” and actually reside at the other end of the bell curve.  80% of you are average. To figure out where you are on the bell curve, see #1. Being average is not a curse.  Most everyone is average.  Not to worry some of the actual “best and brightest” lack common sense, drive, savvy, personal skills etc.  It God’s way of leveling the playing field. Evaluate and compensate.

“The friendships you’ve made here will last the rest of your life.”  Sadly for about 98% of you, they will not.  Most of you will move on, get jobs, marry and make new friends.  That’s not a bad thing.  There’s only so much time in a day.  Spend your time in the moment not trying to recreate “that night” back in college.  My guess is that in five years’ time very few of you will be exchanging Christmas cards with each other.

“You have a bright future in front of you.”  If you consider the future this week or this month or the next year that may be true.  But here’s the ultimate truth.  Life is difficult.  Much of what the world is made of from climate to fellow humans, from wild animals to cars to nearly every item we encounter has the potential to kill us.

There are serious questions in life.  We tend to avoid them.  What is my true potential?  What career is my skill set best suited to?  Who are the five most important people in my life?  Do they know it?

My only advice to you is to answer the tough questions honestly and continuously assess yourself – honestly. Congratulations.   

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