Today's JG rant - Masculinity, toxic or otherwise, is essential to survival of the species

It was so nice to be hectored about something Liberal nit wits label “toxic masculinity” by someone with all of the worldly experiences of a recent high school graduate - on Father’s Day no less. To file Phoebe Grayson Toole’s piece under “toxic Liberal gibberish” gives the term gibberish a bad name.

No longer able to win an argument based on fact, historical context, common sense, Biblical teaching or logic the left has taken to assigning asinine counterintuitive labels to everything.  If you oppose open borders they label you a racist jingoistic white nationalist.  If you oppose killing a child after she survives an abortion – i.e. infanticide/murder – they label you a racist misogynist who oppose women’s “healthcare.”  If you believe in the science of the X – Y chromosomes they label you a racist transaphobe.  If you believe in the Biblical teaching on marriage they label you a racist homophobe.  If you believe the sun is the #1 cause of climate change they label you a racist global warming denier – akin to a Holocaust denier I suppose.  If you believe that a man ought to stand on his own two feet, provide for his family and not send his wife and daughters off to fight wars that he is much better equipped to fight, then, of course, you are a racist afflicted with “toxic masculinity.”

All of it is total hokum.  None of it is designed to win and argument on merit but rather to cow the other side into silence.

I wonder if the recent high school graduates who have spent their long and storied lifetimes studying these things have stopped to consider that there are – weather they like it or not – significant differences between the mental and physical make up between men and women.  Probably not.  Such consideration would lead to the formation of logical arguments and retirement of clichéd shorthand quips that relay on pejorative labels designed to stifle discussion rather than spur it.

  

If you take the time to run down the list of fallen first-responder heroes in NY City on 9-11, you will find the list dripping with examples of true masculinity that Lefty libs certainly would have labeled “toxic” before the heroes fell in the service to others.  Look at the list of fallen firefighters.  Lacking the upper body strength and stamina to climb scores of flights of steps under heavy loads, nary a “toxic feminist’s” name is among them.  Yet, the “toxic feminists” get preferential treatment in hiring.  Who knows, that might have cause a suicide or two among the better qualified men who were passed over.

Hmm, I wonder how many male suicides are caused by “toxic feminism?”  There’s the case of the teenaged girl who encouraged her “boyfriend” to kill himself.  I wonder if that young man had been cursed with a bit more toxic masculinity – enough let’s say to tell that girl to go to hell for instance - if he might be alive today.

Recently a letter writer insisted that IU Medical School advertisements need to be more inclusive of women, because they make up 60% of new med school students nationwide.  Women somehow now dominate the medical field in spite of their complaints that “toxic males” dominate the fields of science, technology, engineering and math.  So I wonder, lagging in the necessary science and math skills, how did women come to so thoroughly dominate the field of medicine? Are better qualified male applicants committing suicide for being passed over?

One statistic that recent high school students have yet stumble across in their extensive research is that the homosexual and LGBTQ communities have a much higher rate of suicide and suicide attempts.  Here’s a shocker.  The rate is NOT due to acceptance of their lifestyle.  Mental disorders constitute the single largest risk factor for suicidal behavior in these communities.

Here’s more shocking news for recent high school graduates who apparently know nothing of human nature.  Men are more successful at suicide than women.  Hmm, could that statistic be linked to the facts that men are hardwired to be more violent and more willing accept risk than women?  I don’t know. Let’s put the graduating class 2020 on that one.

Men are far less likely to “end up on the couch” because – another shocker - men and women approach problem solving differently.  Men tend to focus inwardly and are action and logic oriented.  Women tend to focus outwardly and are more likely to consider their feelings as they relate to the feelings of others and seek compromise.  Men are far more likely to process the 5 steps of grieving quickly arriving at acceptance sooner than women. Once you’ve arrived at acceptance, everything else becomes a bit easier.

If you want to raise healthy children, obey the science of the X – Y chromosomes, and reject trite stupid labels designed by the Lefty Libs to shut you up. Millennia of evolution tells us masculinity is not only a good thing but essential for the survival of the species.

Detoxifying masculinity

This Father's Day, let's help men in opening up to their full potential

Phoebe Grayson Toole

When I was growing up, my parents were incredibly equal.

They split the chores: My mom did laundry and driving, my dad cooked the meals and mowed the lawn. They, infuriatingly, checked with each other before making any parental decisions. They were best friends, they both had valuable jobs, and they didn't consider one occupation or income more important than the other.

My dad was always comfortable in his masculinity. If he wanted to do the cooking or if someone needed him to buy feminine hygiene products, he just did it. He wasn't a man's man, but he was the go-to tech guy and geeked out over his ham radio station.

For my sister and me, he was a fountain of knowledge. He enthralled us from a young age with birding, astronomy, politics and reading. And while, at school, gender stereotypes were encouraged, my dad never restricted our interests or passions. He raised us to believe in our own strength, inherent equality and potential. He and my mom sheltered me from the toxic masculinity in society.

Masculinity is not inherently bad, but it becomes toxic when it hurts men and the people they love. Men are taught to repress emotions such as grief, depression and insecurity, leading to consequences more severe than a few fistfights.

Among people age 10 to 34, suicide is the second most common cause of death, with the suicide rate more than four times higher for men than for women. In 2017, in Fort Wayne alone, there were 75 suicides, 81% of which were male. This number has risen 50% since 2014, and the difference between male and female has grown, too.

Addiction rates are also increasing. In Fort Wayne, opioid overdoses rose from 365 in 2016 to 740 in 2017. There are many reasons for these increases, but it doesn't seem coincidental that men are suffering more.

Men are less likely than women to seek help, which leads to coping through substance abuse or even suicide. In an effort to change these statistics, we have to dismantle the idea that emotion is something to be ashamed of. Toxic masculinity prevents men from seeking professional help or having honest conversations with their spouses or friends.

Toxic masculinity also hurts families. If a man believes he has the ultimate authority in the home or that women are lesser, he loses his best partner in parenting.

If he believes it's a woman's job to raise children, he loses his connection with his own family. If he has a gender-non-conforming child, an effeminate son or an unconventionally ambitious daughter, he beats down his child's self-esteem and happiness. In the worst-case scenario, this rigidly constructed system of power results in domestic abuse.

Also hurt are men's careers. During my school years, the phrase “boys will be boys” only seemed to excuse aggressive or invasive behaviors toward others.

Now, men are finding that such excuses no longer fly.

With the recent #MeToo movement, ugly pasts of powerful men are being dug up. According to an October 2018 New York Times story, the movement has brought down 201 powerful men; nearly half of their replacements have been women. Some scholars remark that men are now considered the riskier hire because of their potential harassment backgrounds. For young men to succeed nowadays, they need to know how to behave well and keep their record clean. If they are educated about appropriate work behavior, consent and respect for women, they needn't fear legal consequences of sexual harassment or assault.

We can improve the lives and futures of young men. By teaching young men the value of showing emotion, we encourage them to choose human connection over substance abuse and suicide, we strengthen their relationships with their spouses and friends, and we set them up for continued success in the workplace.

Every parent wants happiness and success for their children. By changing the messages we teach boys, we raise them to be happy, compassionate and confident men. We allow them to have healthy marriages with their best friends and to raise children who believe they can do anything. Thanks for the horizons, Dad, and Happy Father's Day everyone.

Phoebe Grayson Toole is a 2019 graduate of Canterbury High School and will attend Haverford (Pennsylvania) College in the fall.