Tuesday, April 12, 2011

P-BO's counter march on the debt celing

In 2006 when George Bush needed to raise the debt ceiling a freshman senator from Illinois B-HO, opined from the Senate floor: "The fact that we are here today to debate raising America's debt limit is a sign of leadership failure. ... Increasing America's debt weakens us domestically and internationally. Leadership means that 'the buck stops here.' Instead, Washington is shifting the burden of bad choices today onto the backs of our children and grandchildren. America has a debt problem."

That was then and GWB was a hated figure. Now the most beloved figure in American history needs to raise the debt ceiling and SUDDENLY it’s not a failure of leadership, it’s some sort of necessary evil. The WH revealed the other day that P-BO is much wiser than that dumb ass senator B-HO. Fact is our Commander in Chief topped out in the competence department when he was community organizing, and like a 15 year old lab, he ain’t going to learn how to catch a Frisbee in the air if he doesn’t already know how.

This would be perfect chance for Boehner to reach the 100 billion in cuts mark that he promised or at least the 61 billion mark. If Boehner can’t do that, he ought to tell the president that he’ll settle for taking control the P-BO thought process, also known as the teleprompter, for his Wednesday night speech.

On it Boehner should script an apology to GWB from P-BO on the debt ceiling, G-itmo, Iraq, Iran, military tribunal et. al.:

My fellow Americans - or is it you Americans? – as you probably know by now, I’m so far out of my depth in this job, I couldn’t reach bottom with the aid of a bathyscaphe. Community organizing is no back ground for this job, or any other job where performance matters. But hey, I’m a clean articulate half-black guy. The toothless trailer dwelling white trash, uh, whities, and, uh, guilty rich white folks fell for it and we’re stuck for another two years.

So here’s what you already know. I was a complete moron when it came to closing Guantanamo. Hey I thought it was like starting a work release program with the county sheriff’s department. Turns out these guys at G’itmo are some really bad dudes. We should probably keep them locked up indefinitely. Sorry for the confusion on that one.

And cutting the deficit in half during my first term, well I never was very good at math. Affirmative action can only get you so far. Turns out, I forgot to carry the seven TRILLION when I was adding up my figures. So instead of cutting the deficit in half, we’re actually going to double it in the first two years. Oops, my bad.

When I said I’d get us out of Iraq to concentrate on the “good war.” I didn’t mean Afghanistan. I meant Libya. So while we still maintain our forces in Iraq and Afghanistan, I’ve gotten us into a really “good war” in Libya which we'll be out of in days unless we get bogged down for decades.

You’re probably wishing for the good ol’ days of George W. Bush. Hey, so am I. It was much easier to pimp the president on things I really have no clue about, like the debt ceiling, than actually dealing with them. George, you were pretty much right about everything.

So yeah, the debt ceiling was a bad thing when George was dealing it. Now that I have to, well just keep raising the ceiling like George did until 2012. Then get someone who understands this crap to handle it.

Good night and praise Allah, uh, I mean God bless.

No comments: